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1. Fetterman Sets Record Straight on Speculation He May Switch Parties
HERE TO STAY
Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman said speculation he might become a Republican is “amateur-hour s---.”
POLITICS
2. Bored German Translator Caught Calling Trump’s Speech ‘S***’ on Hot Mic
SWEARING IN
The TV company soon issued a response assuring that this “does not reflect the opinion of the broadcaster.”
This Luxe Houseware Brand Offers a More Elegant Way to Smoke
HIGH STANDARDS
NWTN Home’s elevated weed accessories are designed to double as functional home decor.
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3. Trump 2.0 Starts With Prez Flunking Geography Question
CLOSE ENOUGH
President Donald Trump gave a worrying answer while discussing Spain’s military spending.
4. WATCH: Mike Tyson Climbs on Jake Paul’s Shoulders as Logan Paul Screams ‘America’ at Inaugural Ball
HEAVYWEIGHT
Boxers Jake Paul and Mike Tyson were in high spirits months after a highly contested fight, celebrating Donald Trump’s MAGA victory together.
Elevate Your Workspace With HP’s Newest Laser Printer
PAPER CHASE
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5. White House Reporters ‘Privately’ Rejoicing at Biden’s Exit
‘THINGS HAVEN’T BEEN GREAT’
MAGA 2.0 will likely afford the press corps more chances to speak with—and question—the president.
MEDIA
6. Elon Musk Badgered Trump Into Giving Him White House Pass
NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN
The president’s favorite billionaire will no longer be relegated to a different building.
7. Trump Administration Removes Reproductive Rights Website
ABORT MISSION
Launched in 2022 as part of a public awareness campaign, the site offered a Know-Your-Rights fact sheet and detailed guidance on accessing abortion care.
8. Trump Orders Federal Workers Back to the Office
IN PERSON
Work-from-home policies lingered after the COVID-19 pandemic.
9. Trump Asks U.S. Troops in South Korea: ‘How’s Kim Jong Un?’
ROCKET MAN REGARDS
The president went on to brag about his relationship with the “tough cookie” despot.
10. Trump Marks Return to Office by Waving a Sword Around to ‘YMCA’
MADE THE CUT
The commander-in-chief started dancing with the weapon during a ceremonial cake-cutting.
11. Barron Trump Praised for Being Only First Kid to Shake Hands With Biden
GENTLEMANLY
The first son, 18, made the same gesture to Kamala Harris.
12. Trump’s Iconic Diet Coke Button Returns to the Oval Office
BACK ON THE TABLE
The presidential office was redecorated for Trump on Inauguration Day.
13. Petty Trump Takes Down Mark Milley’s Pentagon Portrait
OF COURSE
It had gone up just ten days ago.
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