"Up until last week, when I finally snapped and said I was too tired to do it, my husband had actually never bought any clothes for our son," said Natalie, who is 36 weeks pregnant. "He’s three and a half. Maybe clothes don’t seem like a big deal, but given how fast a kid grows, having a wardrobe for every size and season — and then packing it away and replacing it with new items — takes so much work and planning. Did you know some of the best snowsuit deals happen in August? This is the kind of information I now store in my brain."
Of course, the issues can be even more pronounced in countries where gender equality isn't front of mind, and as the Oxfam report points out, the answers will likely have to come from "ordinary people," rather than less affected (and let's face it, more male) politicians. Examples include paid leave, investments in child care, challenging sexist legislation, and supporting the care of older adults and people with disabilities — "since the unpaid labour women do isn’t just about chores and child care," as Natalie notes.
"In Canada, I think we’re making good progress in some of these avenues, such as our new shared parental leave program. My husband will be taking advantage of this and I think sharing the load with our new baby is going to make a world of difference in how we divide the labour. When he doesn’t have to wake up for work, he can help with night feeds and I won’t get so batty from sleep deprivation. He can go to mommy-and-me time at the library (haha!) while I rest or take time to myself (imagine). While I’m taking care of baby, he can handle some other household responsibilities like groceries. And when it’s time to transition baby to daycare in a year, he’ll be able to help and save me some emotional turmoil this time. I think shared leave is going to be great for both of us, as parents and partners."
The article about the study is fascinating, filled with breakdowns on how it is that women worldwide find themselves in these impossible situations. It reminded me of a piece from a couple of weeks ago, "I’m a Mom Who Nearly Died Of Sepsis Because I Didn’t ‘Have Time To Be Sick,’" and how often some women put their own needs and yes, hopes and dreams, aside to make sure everyone around them is cared for.
So here's my assignment for the week: If you know a caregiver, send them a text telling them they're doing a good job or email them a gift card to grab a coffee for themselves. Let them know their work is seen.
And if you are a caregiver, for whatever it's worth, I want you to know that what you're doing is important. And essential.
Thanks for reading.
-Rebecca |
