Hi John,

For the month of July we will publish the best of Crucial Skills. Revisit some of our most popular and provocative articles from past years, and relearn the transformative principles and skills they proffer.

Today’s Q&A is all about that twin of tough love, “brutal honesty.”
Why “Brutal Honesty” Isn’t Honest at All
by Justin Hale

I get a little tired of dancing around issues. People want me to beat around the bush or butter them up before I come down hard on them. It’s not my problem if they don’t want to hear the truth. I’m just someone who tells it like it is, and sometimes that’s tough for people.

Brutally Honest

Sometimes, it seems easiest to say what you’re thinking and feeling instead of filtering your thoughts and comments. But, as honest as you think you are, I’m guessing your current delivery isn’t actually as honest as it could be. I believe you’re holding back some honesty in an effort to be a little “brutal,” as you stated. I’ll give a little advice here to help you be even more honest—incredibly honest. But not in the way you might think.
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You can’t really change the heart without telling a story.
 
—Martha Nussbaum