Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, March 8 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank you Claude! Today's Bonehead Award: ______________________________________________________ Today, March 8 in 1917 Russia's "February Revolution" began with rioting and strikes in St. Petersburg. The revolution was called the "February Revolution" due to Russia's use of the Old Style calendar. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. --- Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870) [Detractors] are just wrong, and that's okay. They just don't see it yet. That's what I would tell myself to keep those moments of doubt, only moments. ---Lisa Kudrow, Vasser Commencement Address, 2010 ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. "Hey, lady," shouted a man in another car, "don't you know when to stop?" She rolled down her window and screamed at him, "What makes you think these are all mine?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple invites a group of friends to dinner. As they sit down at the table, the wife turns to their 6-year-old daughter and says, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replies. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answers. The daughter bows her head and says, "Lord, why on earth did I invite these ungrateful bums to dinner?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ayub Abdulrahman, Orange County, Floriduh Man throws Molotov cocktails at his own vehicle inside Orange County impound lot An Orange County man is under arrest after allegedly throwing Molotov cocktails at his own vehicle inside of an impound lot, according to an arrest report. "He came back and started throwing gas cocktail bombs over the fence on his own car," said car lot owner Darnell Adams. An arrest report says the suspect, Ayub Abdulrahman, came to get his car back after it was impounded and set it on fire instead. Adams said he was going to hand over the keys because Abdulrahman had already paid almost $300 to get this car out of the impound lot, but instead of it going home the burned-out car was stuck behind crime scene tape. Adams said he was bringing Abdulrahman his keys when surveillance cameras caught him throwing several fire bombs at the vehicle. Everything is on camera and I showed it to the cops, Adams said. I mean it's just clear as day, throwing like three, four, five gas bombs over the fence. Deputies asked WFTV not to show the rest of this video while they're in the early stages of the investigation. But the surveillance video shows exactly what Adams described. I didn't even own it anymore. He was getting it out, Adams said. 20 minutes. If he had waited twenty minutes, he would've been able to drive away in his car. Adams said he was coming around the corner with the keys and saw Abdulrahman running away. He chased after him until deputies to made an arrest. Adams said his mechanic was able to put the fire out with an extinguisher. What if he would've came back later and tried to finish the job and all my cars catch on fire? Adams said. Adams said he's especially grateful the scene is just contained to the one car. We got a paint shop in the back so it's a lot of flammable materials and he could've harmed a lot of people over here, Adams said. Deputies said the State Fire Marshal's Office is investigating the incident. From: Hank Re: Browser forgets passwords Dear DearWebby Dear Webby; I thoroughly enjoy your daily humor letter. Lately, I have to sign in to every page that has a password to enteer. I have W10. Is this a new MS update improvement? Thanks for your help. Keep up the good work. hank Dear Hank There are no Microsoft "Improvements". The Humor Letter is not passworded. It is just a wide open public page. Anything else depends on your browser settings. If you have traditionally set your browser to remember passwords, and then accidentally took that off, then you have to find out how to put it back on. The way to do that is, of course, different for each browser. Find out which browser you are using, then check the settings. That might be rather tedious, and you will probably find the answer easier by googling for that browser's privacy settings. For Chrome, for example, the info is here: Choose your privacy settings Have Fun! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. Business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?" "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I finished my very first case." "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The other night Kyle, 9, and and his mother were watching a commercial about Father's Day. Christal asked Kyle, "When you grow up, are you going to have children?" He immediately replied, "Yep!" Christal decided to have fun with him, so she added, "You know, you have to kiss a girl to have children." Kyle thought for a moment and then looked at his mother and said very seriously, "I'll adopt." -- ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Sap on Your Car Walter arrived at his office late one morning and was greeted with giggles from the pretty young receptionist. "What are you laughing at?" asked Walter. "There's a big black smudge on your face," said the girl. "Oh, that!" said Walter. "That's easy to explain. I saw my wife off on a month's vacation this morning; I took her to the station and kissed her good-bye." "But what about the smudge?" "As soon as she got on board, I ran up and kissed the engine." Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | How aircraft carriers work. |
___________________________________________________ >From Millard During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "Hey, I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers borders on the ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end coolly explained. "I believe, sir, you are complaining about your room number." ___________________________________________________ The pastor of a church began his sermon with this story: "I was on a plane last week, flying from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became more and more alarmed, and eventually even the flight attendants began to look concerned. Finally, one of them noticed that I had 'Rev.' in front of my name on the passenger list, came over to me, and said, 'Sir, this is really frightening. Do you suppose you could...I don't know...do something religious?'" "So I took up a collection." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A rabbi is riding in a cab when they see a guy kicking a woman who's lying on the sidewalk. The cabbie zooms over, jumps out, and runs to help the lady. The rabbi rolls down the window, and starts yelling, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop the meter!" ___________________________________________________ | Today March 8 in 1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary Motion. 1702 England's Queen Anne took the throne upon the death of King William III. 1782 The Gnadenhutten massacre took place. About 90 Indians were killed by militiamen in Ohio in retaliation for raids carried out by other Indians. 1855 A train passed over the first railway suspension bridge at Niagara Falls, NY. 1862 The Confederate ironclad "Merrimack" was launched. 1880 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes declared that the United States would have jurisdiction over any canal built across the isthmus of Panama. 1887 The telescopic fishing rod was patented by Everett Horton. 1894 A dog license law was enacted in the state of New York. It was the first animal control law in the U.S. 1904 The Bundestag in Germany lifted the ban on the Jesuit order of priests. 1905 In Russia, it was reported that the peasant revolt was spreading to Georgia. 1907 The British House of Commons turned down a women's suffrage bill. 1909 Pope Pius X lifted the church ban on interfaith marriages in Hungary. 1910 In France, Baroness de Laroche became the first woman to obtain a pilot's license. 1910 The King of Spain authorized women to attend universities. 1911 In Europe, International Women's Day was celebrated for the first time. 1911 British Minister of Foreign Affairs Edward Gray declared that Britain would not support France in the event of a military conflict. 1917 Russia's "February Revolution" began with rioting and strikes in St. Petersburg. The revolution was called the "February Revolution" due to Russia's use of the Old Style calendar. 1917 The U.S. Senate voted to limit filibusters by adopting the cloture rule. 1921 Spanish Premier Eduardo Dato was assassinated while leaving the Parliament in Madrid. 1921 French troops occupied Dusseldorf. 1933 Self-liquidating scrip money was issued for the first time at Franklin, IN. 1941 Martial law was proclaimed in Holland in order to extinguish any anti-Nazi protests. 1942 During World War II, Japanese forces captured Rangoon, Burma. 1943 Japanese forces attacked American troops on Hill 700 in Bougainville. The battle lasted five days. 1945 Phyllis Mae Daley received a commission in the U.S. Navy Nurse Corps. She later became the first African-American nurse to serve duty in World War II. 1946 In New York City, the "Journal American" became the first commercial business to receive a helicopter license. 1946 The French naval fleet arrived at Haiphong, Vietnam. 1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that religious instruction in public schools was unconstitutional. 1953 A census bureau report indicated that 239,000 farmers had quit farming over the last 2 years. 1954 France and Vietnam opened talks in Paris on a treaty to form the state of Indochina. 1959 Groucho, Chico and Harpo made their final TV appearance together. 1961 Max Conrad circled the globe in a record time of eight days, 18 hours and 49 minutes in the Piper Aztec. 1965 The U.S. landed about 3,500 Marines in South Vietnam. They were the first U.S. combat troops to land in Vietnam. 1966 Australia announced that it would triple the number of troops in Vietnam. 1973 Two bombs exploded near Trafalgar Square in Great Britain. 234 people were injured. 1982 The U.S. accused the Soviets of killing 3,000 Afghans with poison gas. 1985 The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) reported that 407,700 Americans were millionaires. That was more than double the total from just five years before. 1986 Four French television crewmembers were abducted in west Beirut. All four were eventually released. 1988 In Fort Campbell, KY, 17 U.S. soldiers were killed when two Army helicopters collided in midair. 1989 In Lhasa, Tibet, martial law was declared after three days of protest against Chinese rule. 1999 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the conviction of Timothy McVeigh for the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City in 1995. 1999 The White House, under President Bill Clinton, directed the firing of nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee from his job at the Los Alamos National Laboratory. The firing was a result of alleged security violations. 2001 The U.S. House of Representatives voted for an across-the- board tax cut of nearly $1 trillion over the next decade. 2005 In norther Chechnya, Chechen rebel leader Aslan Maskhadov was killed during a raid by Russian forces. 2019 Do smiled. |
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