Hi John,

We often speak of verbal violence. But silence—being shut out—can be just as emotionally painful as harsh words. If you have navigated such terrain, what did you do? Tell us in the comments section of today’s Q&A.
What To Do When Someone Shuts You Out and Refuses to Talk
by Ryan Trimble

I’m in a personal situation where the other person has completely shut me out—getting back to safety is not happening. The other person will not respond—not even to emails. What is an appropriate way to make a last attempt? I’m thinking of sending one last message, something like, “If you would like to talk, please contact me. I would like to hear from you.” Then should I just wait it out? What can I do?

Signed,
Anxious

I have learned from sad experience that not everyone values communication equally.

Never mind differences in values, sometimes our timing is not in sync. While you may benefit from having a conversation and trying to resolve conflict or find closure, it is reasonable to assume that others, at times, will weigh the benefits and risks of talking and determine that moving on, without talking, is less risky and more beneficial.

This can be incredibly difficult to accept when we find ourselves on the side of conflict that wants to work things out or find closure.

That said, there are a few things you can do.
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