What Sparks Poetry is a series of original essays that explores experiences and ideas that spark the writing of new poems. In our new series, Drafts, we invite poets to explore the writing and rewriting of poems, and their many lives before (and even after) publication.  Each Monday's delivery brings you the poem and an excerpt from the essay.
After the Operation (excerpt)
(After the operation,

intact abandoned
its nouns, the idea

itself fell
apart and was

last seen somewhere
in an enamel

bowl in pieces
next to a bone saw)


 
***
 
 

We discussed the risks of surgery including but not limited to coma, death, stroke, paralysis, infection, bleeding, and spinal fluid leak. Specific to this tumor in this location, we also discussed the risks of complete loss of olfaction, spinal fluid leak into the ethmoid or frontal sinus (which is small on the MRI), and damage to the frontal lobes with change in personality. We described the procedure in detail. We discussed the pre- and postoperative courses as well as discharge instructions and restrictions. We discussed the location of the incision behind her hairline and that we would likely only need to shave minimal hair. We discussed the risk of a medical complication. In summary, the risks, benefits, and alternatives to surgery were discussed with the patient. All questions were answered, and the patient expressed her full understanding. She wishes to proceed with the planned surgery and has given consent.

 

***


We came upon her at dusk
in a dense forest

of monitors
draped cuffs, dangling

salines, tapes, drains
broad bandages, electrodes

We tried not to be terrified
and failed

We looked to her as we always had
We tried to tell her she looked fine

Because she could not see herself
she tried to put us at ease

We asked her how she felt, really
She was very calm (the meds)

“I was worried,” she said
“but nothing has changed. Listen,

beyond the windows:
the creak of bullock carts

breaking waves, crows,
the call to prayer.”

 

from the book AFTER THE OPERATION / Four Way Books
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Color image of the front cover of Elizabeth T. Gary, Jr.'s book-length poem, After the Operation
What Sparks Poetry:
Elizabeth T. Gray, Jr. on Drafts


"What was this? Where did it come from? How did it get there? Had it not been in my notebook, in my handwriting, between two journal entries that I did recall writing, I would have tried to dismiss it somehow. But there it was. It would not be trifled with, so I put aside the various poetry experiments and series on which I’d been working and stepped into its weird lyric space-time of After the operation....”
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Color headshot of Margaret Ross
In Conversation: Jesse Nathan and Margaret Ross

"I started working this way when I was full of doubt and couldn’t write and was living in California, stuck in traffic all the time. Letting a poem accrue in the car gradually restored my belief. That gut sense of a poem when it only exists as speech and sound feels like brushing up against some ambient spirit I want to follow even after things are written down. Working from memory has given me an inner life I rely on, plus it detaches poetry from my laptop, which I’m always relieved to avoid."

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