| Dear John, I felt like a fly on the wall, privy to an exchange I wasn’t meant to hear. It was uncomfortable and yet I couldn’t look away. I had stumbled upon a docuseries that quickly became something I shared with clients and friends. The show, called Couples Therapy, offers a brave and compelling look at what it means to work through challenging situations with a partner in a therapeutic setting. Couples are from all walks of life and while initially the circumstances might seem far different than your own, humanity quickly rises to the surface. How we get stuck is surprisingly familiar. Last week, the new season of Couples Therapy premiered and as soon as the first episode ended, I was hooked once again. During the series, therapist Dr. Orna Guralnick skillfully helps clients uncover, explore, and recover from the inherited patterns of behavior that keep them trapped in cycles of frustration and pain. When I finished the season, I thought to myself, ‘This is how we stop redecorating hell.’ And it’s how we stop hurting each other. Last night, before going to bed, I made the mistake of checking the news. When I saw the riots in California, I felt sick to my stomach. Every day another trauma, I thought as I brushed my teeth and washed my face. The world would be a very different place if individual healing were as much of a priority as education is in our country. It’s one of the reasons I appreciate Couples Therapy. Not only does it focus on understanding and healing the history that shapes us, it makes the case for how individual healing is the first step in repairing a broken system. That system could be a marriage, a partnership, a family, a company, or a country. Recently, a friend asked me: “What’s the one thing you’ve done in your whole life that’s contributed most to your ability to live well?” The answer was a no-brainer: Get into therapy and stick with it. If you’ve heard me speak, you know I’m a big fan of good therapy. It helps us answer questions like: Why do I feel stuck? Why do I keep encountering the same situations that frustrate and upset me? Who do I keep fighting with, and how might I be contributing to the problem? Why do I keep redecorating hell in my own life? These days, I know good therapists are hard to find and honestly, most people can’t afford them. But that doesn’t have to stop you. There are books to read, groups to join, and online resources that never existed before. This will be our focus for a new Zoom gathering this Wednesday, June 11th, (3pm ET, 12 noon PT). Join us for a discussion about “Healing in the Wisdom Years” and bring your favorite resources and ideas. Therapists with openings in their practices are welcome, too. If you registered for prior Zoom gatherings, you'll automatically receive a link. If not, you can do so here. Love,
Cheryl
Need a little Divine Direction? Use the “Touch of Grace” button at the bottom of our homepage here.
|
