But not (excerpt)
Olivia Muenz

But it's not like that. Let me try to explain. Let me give you a real out. Have you ever punctured something tiptop. Have you ever forgotten. Your shoes. Have you ever spun around real fast and become. A water balloon. Are you following all of this.



But I do apologize for the inconvenience. Did that sound sincere. Can you press your ear to my heart to make our own calendar. I am trying here. I am crafting something out of nothing. That is my specialty. Some make macaroons or millions of dollars. Not me.


But I am glued. To my handcar. My partner untied his shoes. He got out. I pump myself one-handed. I use all my weight. I am so tired. The whole world is a mirage. Where does this thing end.


But the bus is gushing us out one by one. Into Port Authority. Imagine being in the army. Imagine being deployed to Port Authority. Aren't we all.



But I'm ugly. From the inside out. I suck. Your voice into a balloon and pop it. I lose. All my favorite bits. I retract. From the sun which is never a good sign. I don't look for good signs. I capture. The flag.


But I can't name the country. You ask. What it means to belong. I'm thinking about surrounding things. I wrap my Christmas. Tree with a. blanket. To keep us cozy. It looks so bad out there.



But I am in a Big Community. With myself. I am the Big Leader. I am the defect. I don't want. To pay taxes. I am crocheting a big safety net. For all of us. I am working. Very hard.


But the phone calls are not going through. Hello. Operator please give me. A real out.


But I can't find the end. Of the line. It grows faster. Than me I am playing. A big game. I eat all. The bits.



But I never run out of bits. Do you like my routine.



But only my temple. Is tender I am tough. Luck baby. I am down for the count. I am rained. Out.


But don't let this get you. Down. Don't go all soft. On me now. I am frozen. In time. I am a big memory box. I am all meat. I can eat you alive if you let me.

from the book I FEEL FINE/ Switchback Books
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Cover image of Robin Coste Lewis' book, To the REalization of Perfect Helplessness
Robin Coste Lewis Wins Pen/Voeleker Award for Poetry Collection

"Employing an adept methodology of reframing, Lewis asks us to expand the ways we might imagine what it means to 'read' and 'see' on the plane or stage of a book’s page. As readers migrate through To The Realization of Perfect Helplessness they are met with twists and turns that function to defy and subvert one’s expectations of what an image can be and what imagery can do. Ultimately, Lewis’ work tenderly forces our collective imagination to evolve."

via PEN AMERICA
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Cover of Black Warrior Review, 48.1, where Oliver Baez Bendorf's poem was first published
What Sparks Poetry:
Oliver Baez Bendorf on "I Want Biodegradable Sex"


"I am often suggesting to students that when it comes to style, we each have a 'terroir'— a particular flavor made up of the unique places and vocabularies that we have absorbed....But the thing is that terroir is not only style. It is substance. It is not even quite right to say that it is also substance. It is exactly that, substance. It’s the matter we are made of. Terroir is what you write and how you write it. The goal is to write what only you could."
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