Coronavirus has rekindled America’s love affair with the Second Amendment in times of fear. And with Florida reporting gun sales surging beyond what we’ve seen during hurricane seasons and after 9/11, it’s time for Joe Biden to back up his tough “You’re full of shit” talk on guns from two weeks ago — with some social distance-friendly hunting trips to Florida or Wisconsin. He can take pages from the conservative playbook and auction guns online for self-defense, while still supporting policies popular with both parties like high-capacity magazine restrictions and universal background checks. As Biden shifts to general election mode, it might be time to make clear that Beto “take the guns” O’Rourke won’t be his gun policy wingman given that even some liberals are checking ways to arm themselves against viral unrest. 

While on CNN this week, Illinois Sen. Tammy Duckworth came armed to roast Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin … with the infamous Bond villain-esque photo of Mnuchin grinning while holding up sheets of cash with his wife. The viral moment captured the Iraq War veteran’s willingness to go for the jugular while backing payouts to everyday Americans over what Democrats called a $500 billion “slush fund” for CEOs and corporations. And since Biden announced his desire to pick a woman as his vice presidential candidate, the 52-year-old Thai American who broke ground for mothers in the Senate has emerged as a compelling option to balance the ticket.

Surveillance can be used for good. The tech company Unacast is using phone GPS location data to shed light on which regions are doing the worst and best jobs at social distancing. Citizens in Alaska, New Jersey and Washington, D.C., got “A” grades, while those in Wyoming, Idaho and Montana flunked. Some European countries, such as Italy and Germany, have used anonymized data to combat the virus. Russia and Israel have access to direct patient data, while Taiwan has an electric fence program alerting authorities when quarantined people stray too far from home. No word yet on when Taipei will start handing out shock collars to rein in stir-crazy citizens. 

As Congress steams toward a $2 trillion stimulus bill far outpacing the 2008 bank bailouts, what do you think would actually best help the economy? Should America nationalize private hospitals like Spain? What about the tax break of the century: no taxes for two years? We know performance artist and perpetual candidate Vermin Supreme would suggest ponies for all, but would a stimulus package for video game companies benefit more of our new stay-at-home population? Send us your most novel economic superhero plans at [email protected], and we’ll champion the best ones in next week’s edition.

Last week we asked you to crown the worst presidential crisis management. Michael Miller says: “Hands down: Andrew Johnson, who nearly restarted the Civil War. Close Second: Herbert Hoover, who took no action to mitigate the 1929 stock market crash.”

Donald Trump is pointing fingers. Europe’s leaders are squabbling endlessly. So those looking for global leadership in the face of the coronavirus pandemic are landing on an unlikely trio: Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi and China’s President Xi Jinping. MBS is leading the G-20, Modi is coordinating a South Asian crisis response and Xi is sending supplies and know-how overseas while coordinating with European leaders. It’s a jarring contrast to U.S. leadership during the 2008 financial pandemic, and it gives three scandal-scarred autocrats a chance to stand tall on the world stage.

“You can’t fake it. You’re either strong, or you’re not,” Tommy Tuberville says, flexing his biceps in a recent Alabama Senate campaign ad while saying his opponent Jeff Sessions “wasn’t man enough to stand with President Trump when things got tough.” While some may say he’s overcompensating — the ad was shot with athletes pumping iron behind him, back when we were all allowed to go to the gym — we give the former Auburn football coach kudos for the bro-iest ad of this election season.