This Book Will Help You Break Your Dopamine Addiction

Pomp's Notes on The Practice of Groundedness

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To investors,

I have been reading one book per week this year. This past week’s book was The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg. Highly recommend reading it. If you are interested in the individual highlights that I made in the physical book, you can read those here. Hope you enjoy these notes.

Book’s main argument:

We live in a hyperconnected world where you are one notification away from a dopamine hit. Too many people are focused on productivity, self-improvement, and being “always on.” The solution lies at the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern science in what Stulberg calls “groundedness” — or the art of being present every day as you take the long-term view of your work and accomplishments.

10 Big Ideas:

💡 Idea #1 — The modern world runs on heroic individualism. This can drive some people to incredible success, while it pushes others into a very bad place. Brad writes:

“I’ve come to call this heroic individualism: an ongoing game of one-upmanship, against both yourself and others, paired with the limiting belief that measurable achievement is the only arbiter of success. Even if you do a good job hiding it on the outside, with heroic individualism you chronically feel like you never quite reach the finish line that is lasting fulfillment.”

Brad continues by explaining the issues that arise as each person pursues heroic individualism:

“Heroic individualism and its most prevalent symptoms — restlessness, feeling rushed, low-level angst, scattered mess, exhaustion, burnout, periods of emptiness, a compulsion to keep chasing the next thing, and recurrent longing — all of which are supported by mounting data that we’ll soon examine, describe what so many people report feeling these days.”

💡 Idea #2 — Happiness seems to be a pursuit that everyone embarks on, but few people can describe what they are chasing or why. Additionally, research shows that our attainment of happiness may be more psychological than we previously thought. Brad writes:

“Studies show that happiness is a function of reality minus expectations. In other words, the key to being happy isn’t to always want and strive for more. Instead, happiness is found in the present moment, in creating a meaningful life and being fully engaged in it, right here and right now.”

Many people have fooled themselves into believing that the “next achievement” will finally bring them the happiness that they are seeking. Brad explains why that is likely not true:

“We’re all affected by what behavioral scientists call hedonic adaptation, or the “set-point” theory of happiness: when we acquire or achieve something new, our happiness, well-being, and satisfaction rise, but only for a few months before returning to their prior levels.”

Brad then explains that a constant pursuit of unachievable happiness can actually accelerate the lack of happiness:

“In a 2014 study, researchers from the University College London examined people’s happiness from moment to moment. In lay terms, happiness at any given moment equals reality minus expectations. If your expectations are constantly higher than your reality, you’ll never be content.

Desperately trying to be happy or successful is one of the worst ways to actually be happy or successful.”

💡 Idea #3 — Groundedness is something that you have to constantly work on. Brad has created a six-part framework for helping you achieve groundedness and stick with it through the chaos and uncertainty of your daily life (edited for brevity):

“The six principles of groundedness are as follows: (1) Accept where you are to get you where you want to go. (2) Be present so you can own your attention and energy. (3) Be patient and you’ll get there faster. (4) Embrace vulnerability to develop genuine strength and confidence. (5) Build deep community. (6) Move your body to ground your mind.”

💡 Idea #4 — Brad explains that most people will succumb to a bad day, a bad emotional state, or a negative event. Instead, it is important to understand that the human understanding of the relationship between your actions and your mood are usually backwards. He writes:

You cannot always control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond.

You don’t need to feel good to get going. You need to get going and then you’ll give yourself a chance at feeling good.

Mood follows action.

When something is going in a direction that you don’t like, Brad suggests saying the following phrase to yourself:

Remind yourself: “This is what is happening right now. I’m doing the best I can.”

💡 Idea #5 — Multitasking is one of the worst ways to spend your time and energy. You may think you are being more productive, but you are almost certainly not. Brad writes:

When we strive to be everywhere and do everything, we tend to feel like we’re not fully experiencing anything. If we’re not careful and protective of our attention, it can seem like we’re losing control of our lives, bouncing from one distraction to the next.

A common example of heroic individualism’s futile efforts to get more done faster at the expense of deep attention is multitasking — both physical and psychological. Contrary to what most people believe, studies show that when we multitask we are not doing or thinking about two things at once. Rather, our brains are constantly switching between tasks or dividing and conquering, allotting only a portion of our cognitive capacity to one task at a time.

This obsession with multitasking is partially due to the fact that we carry super-computers everywhere we go. Brad explains:

“We are training our brains to be in a constant state of hyper-alertness, always thinking about what could be happening somewhere else and feeling the urge to check in and see. While this kind of behavior was advantageous during earlier phases of our species’ evolution — it helped us avoid predators and find prey in times of scarcity, for example — it’s not a great formula for living a happy, healthy, fulfilled life in the twenty-first century.”

And most of us are doing it because we think it makes us more important:

A big reason that all of us can’t put down our phones or log off our email is because we’ve come to associate nonstop notifications with validating our importance in the world.

💡 Idea #6 — You can improve your life by focusing on what is important and focusing when you have the opportunity to spend time with the people, or on the things, that you deem most important. Brad writes:

“When we protect our time, energy, and attention and direct it wisely — when we are present for meaningful people, places, and pursuits — our entire experience of being alive improves dramatically.”

💡 Idea #7 — The modern world, especially the technology industry, has celebrated the individuals with the biggest goals. While this can be good for certain missions, it can be detrimental in other scenarios:

“Rather than focusing on the heroic achievement of big goals, practice breaking them down into their component parts and then concentrate on those parts. Doing so serves as an incredibly powerful focusing mechanism.”

Sometimes you will have to optimize for long-term sustainability, rather than max effort in a single day or week. This is called “stopping one rep short.” Brad explains:

“Stopping one rep short requires discipline. You need confidence in your process, confidence that if you stay patient, show restraint when appropriate, and take consistent small steps, you’ll end up with big gains.”

💡 Idea #8 — Life is all about operating in an ever-changing environment. The more easily that you can navigate various aspects of life, the more prepared you are to succeed. Brad eloquently describes emotional flexibility:

“Develop what psychologists call emotional flexibility, or the capacity to experience a wider range of emotions and more easily transition between them without losing your ground. Emotional flexibility is essential to living a considered, thoughtful, and whole life, and research shows that it is associated with enhanced performance, well-being, and general satisfaction.”

💡 Idea #9 — Technology is a blessing and a curse. When it comes to the downsides of tech from the groundedness perspective, you can put them in two major buckets:

“When it comes to community in particular, digital technology presents two interrelated dilemmas: (1) Digital technology has created the ability — and ensuing pressure — for us to “optimize” and be productive always, which often comes at the expense of time and energy spent building deep community. (2) Many digital technologies offer us the illusion of connection while eroding the real thing.”

💡 Idea #10 — Physical exercise is much more important than you would think. It can create mental toughness, boost your mood, and increase your mental functioning. Brad has an entire chapter on this but these two phrases stuck out to me:

While it’s plausible to think that exercise simply makes you too tired to care, that’s not the case. Research shows that if anything, physical activity has the opposite effect, boosting brain function and energy.

In laypeople’s terms, pushing through the discomfort associated with exercise — saying yes when their bodies and minds were telling them to say no — taught the students to stay cool, calm, and collected in the face of difficulty.

Memorable quotes:

Living a grounded life is an ongoing practice.

It’s one thing to understand something intellectually. It’s another to make it real, day in and day out.

Language shapes reality.

“A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” - Harvard researchers

Doing stuff is only valuable if the stuff we are doing is valuable.

“Attention is a finite resource and attention vampires are lurking everywhere, literally sucking the life out of us.” - Ed Batista

People often think about the number of years in their lives. But perhaps more important is the amount of life, the amount of presence, in those years.

Heroic individualism craves instant wealth, instant health, and instant happiness.

The great paradox, of course, is that rates of loneliness are skyrocketing at a time when we are more connected, at least digitally, than ever.

We are most satisfied when we fulfill both of these essential drives: an inner feeling of belonging and appropriate outward contact with other people.

Pain isn’t the only contagious emotion.

You don’t become what you think. You become what you do.

Pomp’s Takeaways:

My first big takeaway is that groundedness is not a new concept, but rather a modern spin on something that many civilizations, philosophers, and cultures have been pursuing for centuries. They all have different names for it, but the idea is generally the same — focus on the present moment and avoid distractions. Brad’s explanations and examples from the modern lens will be helpful to those who don’t enjoy ancient philosophy, etc.

The second big takeaway was the recurring theme of practice that we have seen in many other books (ex: Robert Greene’s Mastery). If you are going to focus on the present, then you will need to have the patience to work at something every day for long periods of time. Don’t chase quick results. Be exceptional by having the persistence that no one you are competing with is able to endure.

The third big takeaway is “mood follows action.” I love this one. Brad uses the example of going to the gym. You’re tired. You don’t want to go. You’re not in the mood, right? Well, science shows that if you simply show up and start doing some exercises, even if half-assed, your actions will increase your mood to a more positive state. It is hard to have the self-discipline every day, but the phrase “mood follows action” is something I’ve already thought about a few times since reading it.

The fourth big takeaway was actually something that I disagree with Brad on. His writing is very focused on the groundedness principle, but there are obviously times when obsessive, hyper-alertness is necessary. For example, Sam Altman (formerly President of YCombinator) has explained that one of the only correlated data points to founder success that they were able to identify was how quickly founders responded to email. Outlier founders responded in minutes, while everyone else averaged days. My guess is that Brad and I would arrive at the following conclusion — sometimes you have to be “always on” and sometimes you need to chill out. Knowing which one is appropriate at any moment is the challenge.

The fifth and final takeaway was something that Brad referred to as “convergence.” He was explicitly talking about the intersection of ancient wisdom, modern science, and the daily habits of successful people and athletes. They were all pointing to the idea of groundedness. My takeaway was the point of convergence can be highly illuminating on any topic and in any field. It is a great intellectual alarm system to tell you that you’re close to an answer — multiple disciplines all arriving at the same conclusion. That is hard to identify sometimes, but when you see it, it can be a thing of beauty.

As I mentioned, past week’s book was The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg. Highly recommend reading it. If you are interested in the individual highlights that I made in the physical book, you can read those here. Hope you enjoyed these notes. Let me know if you would like me to continue writing these in the future.

-Pomp

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