Photo-Illustration: MaryLu Herrera

A woman tests her new relationship at an Airbnb on the beach: 32, in a relationship, Connecticut.

DAY ONE

7:20 a.m. I wake up early to the sound of waves. This Airbnb somewhere on a beach in Connecticut is exactly what I need: water views, space, light, zero city chaos. H is still sleeping — or maybe pretending to be asleep. I’m not sure. It’s been only three months together, and this is our first trip. It should be quite telling.

10:30 a.m. He’s still sleeping. Is that weird? We’re in our early 30s. It seems weird to sleep this late, but maybe I’m overthinking; I do that. I peek into the bedroom. He’s snoozing peacefully. I watch him, both wondering how I got so lucky and whether or not I trust him. He hasn’t done anything to make me not trust him, but I don’t trust men in general. My ex was a liar; the one before him was a cheater. I’m not, like, wounded wounded, but I’m a little fucked up when it comes to trusting men. H knows this about me, to some extent, but not fully. I don’t want to sound unstable to him!

12 p.m. H finds me reading on the beach — our own private beach that comes with this rental … gorgeous! He’s showered and dressed and suggests we go into town for breakfast (for him) and lunch (for me). I have to bite my tongue not to ask him when he woke up, why didn’t he come say “hello,” does he always sleep late like a teenager? Instead, I’m like, “Yup. Let’s do it!”

3 p.m. We do the cute couple-y thing: grab beach food from a crab shack, hold hands while shopping a bit, go look at the marina and kiss. H is a very easygoing guy. He’s funny, cute, pretty good in bed. We met online, and I was shocked how normal he was. It was enough to keep me interested, although I’m not sure our connection will grow deeper than it is now. I’m just not sure if he’s inherently shy and reserved or emotionally unavailable.

5 p.m. Back at the rental, we have sex. It feels more mandatory than passionate. H is a good lover. He always goes down on me. He’s got a strong dick that is always up for a good time. I usually come when we fuck, just not today. But I pretend that I do.

8 p.m. We’re grilling dinner and drinking cold white wine. Again, it’s all idyllic, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. H knows none of this as I just smile and appear to be soaking in the moment. Then we get into bed to watch The Bear and go to sleep.

DAY TWO

10 a.m. He is still sleeping! Weird but okay!

11 a.m. I take some selfies and pretty pictures of our view. I’m going to post on Instagram but not sure if I should tag H. We haven’t gone Insta official yet. He’s barely on social media to begin with (he works at an elite private school, so his privacy is important to him). I work for my family business, importing gourmet ingredients from other countries, so I have no reason to be private or anxious about anything work-wise. He’s off for the summer, and I’m taking a few personal days for this trip.

12 p.m. I post and don’t tag him. Just as I do this, he arises. I call him Mr. Sleepyhead and he laughs, but I detect some defensiveness.

1:35 p.m. Same routine as yesterday. We’re in town grabbing breakfast-lunch. We’re sitting at an outdoor table talking about this area, and I stupidly say something like, “Maybe we’ll have a beach house around here someday?” I have no idea how that came out of my mouth, and he doesn’t flinch, but I regret it immediately. His response was just a little laugh. Fuck!

4:40 p.m. Sitting in our backyard by the beach, I show him the photos I posted on Insta. He’s like, “Why didn’t you tag me?” Call me insecure, but it literally fills my heart with joy when he says that. I play it cool and tell him maybe I’ll tag him next time. But the point is now I’m so horny for him that I lead him back to the house and we fuck all over the place: first the couch, then bedroom that we’re not sleeping in, and then our room. It’s, like, one long fuck session in three different scenes. In the end, I have this crazy-loud orgasm, and so does he. We’re both kind of laughing at ourselves after that. It’s the most wild our sex has ever been.