You can only force someone to work hard for so long.
Fear-based motivation or pure willpower-based motivation to work hard doesn’t last. Any parent knows that. You can make your kid practice piano or go shoot free throws for 20 or 30 minutes, but if that kid doesn’t enjoy what they’re doing—if they don’t derive any intrinsic reward from the act itself—it turns into work. And once it’s work, it has to be forced. Every single time.
You don’t want to have to coerce someone else, or yourself, to do the right thing. If you have to, it’s probably not the right thing.
Yeah, there are exceptions. We’ve all got to make allowances for brushing your teeth, going to the dentist, basic chores, paying bills and taxes. Maintenance that isn’t quite pleasant but absolutely has to be done. That's part of life. You may never be totally free of having to nudge yourself or someone else to do those boring but necessary tasks.
But if we’re talking about creating a lifelong learner or someone who’s good at a skill, a sport, an instrument, or even a career or craft, it’s far better to find a way to make them actually enjoy the thing. Because working hard eventually runs up against biology, and the fact of human biology is that we are lazy animals. We like to do the least amount of work for the most amount of gain.
But we’re also special. Most animals stop playing after they grow up, but humans retain the ability and the drive to play forever. And that’s the key. You can turn anything into play. The workout or the sport. Drills and practice. Reading or starting a business. You have to do all you can to make it not feel like work. It has to be fun or it has to be meaningful—something you derive pleasure and purpose from, intrinsically.
So if you find yourself butting heads with reality, struggling to force yourself to do something you think you have to do, take a step back. Ask yourself if it’s something you actually should be doing. Yeah, some things are non-negotiable, but is this one of them? Is there something else that makes more sense for you? Or is there a better way to do the thing you’re trying to force?
