ISSUE NO. 1

Dear Friend,

From its creation in 1906, A Bintel Brief was a pillar of The Forward, and a trendsetter for advice columns across the United States. Yiddish for “a bundle of letters,” the column began out of necessity as so many readers wrote in sharing their troubles. The editor’s blunt answers helped waves of Eastern European immigrants learn how to be American.

When I took over as Editor-in-Chief of The Forward in September, I knew immediately I wanted to revive Bintel to help readers navigate the complexity of being Jewish in the 21st century, We were putting the finishing touches on the debut column when the pandemic hit hard; it only seems more urgent now. Answering your questions will be not one but two wise women named Abby — yes, "Dear Abbys," in homage to that other legendary advice column.

Abby Sher is a stand-up comic, memoirist and author of young-adult novels who lives in Maplewood, N.J., with her husband and three children. Abby Rasminsky is a writer, teacher, and former professional dancer who recently moved to Los Angeles from Austria with her husband (a convert she actually met via The Forward!) and their daughter.

Illustrations are by Liana Finck, whose 2014 graphic novel about the original Bintel Brief brought it to life for a new generation.

The column will be publishing weekly on forward.com and as a newsletter, so watch your inbox, and please share with your friends. You can get a taste below, and send feedback -- or questions -- to [email protected]. Thanks for reading, and for supporting The Forward.

Best Regards,

Jodi Rudoren
Editor-in-Chief, The Forward

Illustration by Liana Finck

Should I keep paying the cleaning lady if she can’t come?

Dear Abbys,

I told my cleaning lady not to come today (my daughter uses the same one, and she is deciding what to do, as the woman uses the subway). I will pay her for today, and possibly the next time. But how long do we have to keep this up? I was thinking of splitting the cost and paying her half.

The other piece of this is that I need someone to clean the house, change my bed linens. And soon there is Pesach. How will us elderly people deal with that without help?

Signed,

Menorah, New York City

Dear Menorah,

Thank you for being a mensch! Yes, absolutely continue paying your cleaning lady. I say, pay her for as long as it is financially feasible for you. People who work hourly, in low-paying jobs — who are often undocumented — are the most vulnerable to financial ruin in a situation like this, so the best thing you can do is continue paying her. If you can’t afford the full amount, give whatever you can.

Who’s to blame for missing Doritos?

Dear Abbys,

As soon as I heard that patient No. 2 was an Orthodox Jew, my heart leapt in fear, worried that the Jews would be blamed for an outbreak in NYC. Same feeling I had when the planes brought down the towers — we’ll be blamed for this. Is this rational or is this historical DNA rearing its ugly face?

Signed,

PTSD Flareup in Sullivan County, N.Y.

Dear PTSD Flareup,

Ah, the Blame Game. When you lose too many tiles to play Scrabble, don’t have the mental capacity for Old Maid, and just give up on pretending to like Twister, the Blame Game is a sure crowd-pleaser. Played by all ages and levels of expertise in any language, and no pegs or operating instructions to lose! (Batteries always included.)

Illustration by Liana Finck

Time is going too fast and too slow all at once

Dear Abbys,

Help! I’m supposed to be working from home and also homeschooling and also disinfecting our home and checking in on my parents, making what’s left of our food last, etc. etc. and I can’t keep track of any of it. Time seems confusing and irrelevant and going too fast and too slow all at once. What do I do?

Signed,

Michelle, Los Angeles

Dear Michelle,

We feel your pain. In the past two days we’ve accused small people who live in the same domicile as we do of leaving the garbage-can open, only to realize the smell was because we still hadn’t showered.

It seems so hard to believe that we’ve only been #socialdistancing for a couple of weeks. It reminds one of us when her mother died in the middle of July and she walked outside the hospital and couldn’t fathom how the sun was still so high in the sky.

Send in your questions to [email protected]

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