Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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 Good Morning, John! Today is Saturday, November 26 Enjoy! Ophelia 
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 _____________________________________________________ Here is ONE of the many jokes from the full version: ______________________________________________________ 5 He was away on business, and in his Paris hotel the telephone rang before dawn... "Hello, Senor Smeeth? This is Ernesto... the caretaker at your country house." "Ernesto? ... Ah yes Ernesto! What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Uh ... I'm just calling to advise you, Senor, that your favourite parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International trophy for his speaking!!!?" "Si, Senor ... that's the one." "Damn! Damn!Damn! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat, Senor." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed the parrot rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor, he ate the meat of your dead horse!" "Dead horse? What bloody dead horse?!" "The thoroughbred that won the Breeders Cup, Senor Smeeth. He died from a heart attack pulling the big water cart." "Are you totally insane? What damned water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor!" "Good Lord! A fire!? What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What the ...!! There's electricity at the house!! What the bloody hell was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor." "WHAT F*CKING FUNERAL?!" "Your wife's, Senor ... She just showed up late the other night and I thought she was a stinkin' thief ... So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike No.1 driver." A deathly pause of complete silence ... then ... "Jesus Christ Almighty Ernesto, if you damaged that driver, you're in the VERY deepest of sh*t.!!!! ======================================================   
 
 
  
 Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia  ====================================================== 

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