Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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 Good Morning, John! Today is Wednesday, December 19 (`v) Ophelia Renew / Upgrade 
 ____________________________________________________ This version is just for testing your email, whether you COULD receive my newsletter or not. If you DO receive this, then you can subscribe to the full version. To keep out little kids, the full version costs one dollar a month or ten dollars a year. PayPal does the age check. You can even use credit or debit cards at PayPal if you don't have a PayPal account yet.  Subscribe to the FULL version! _____________________________________________________ Here is ONE of the many jokes from the full version: _____________________________________________________ 5 Office Lingo 1. Okay, okay, I take it back! Unfuck you! 2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. 3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine. 5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after. 6. Do I look like a people person? 7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting. 8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. 9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. 10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control? 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. 15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet. 16. Back off! You're standing in my aura. 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too. 18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor. 19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 21. Chaos, panic and disorder..my work here is done. 22. Ambivalent? well, yes and no. 23. You look like shit. Is that the style now? 24. Earth is full. Go home. 25. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego? 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. 27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. 28. You are depriving some village of an idiot. 29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport. =====================================================   
 
  
  
 Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia  ====================================================== 

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