After deconstructing your beliefs or leaving the church have you ever found yourself avoiding certain grocery stores… or ducking behind a display at the local coffee shop… because you saw someone from your old church life?
If you live in a small enough community it’s likely that you’ll sometimes run into people from your former life of being a “church-going faithful believer.”
And that can be awkward!
I remember this happening to me many times, and people's responses fell under one of these categories:
One was pity. They thought I was lost, confused, and going to burn in the fires of Hell for eternity.
Two was fear. They thought I was dangerous and that they shouldn’t associate with me.
Three was genuine confusion, and they wondered “Why would he leave a privileged spiritual life and such a great church? What’s wrong with him? Did he have a mental breakdown?” Or, worse–“Did Satan get him?”
Finally, some people reacted with genuine curiosity and care. But this was super rare for me. It might’ve happened only once or twice.
In all of those encounters, one of my deepest thoughts was, “No one gets me!”
I had thought that before, but after deconstruction I really started to believe it.
I remember feeling so isolated and alone, and I felt like no one truly understood me or what I was going through.
Perhaps you’ve felt the same way on your journey?
Yes, I made the decision to go down this path.
Yes, I chose to leave the ministry and the church.
And yes, I chose to walk away from that community.
But I had to do it. Even though it cost me community, friendships, and support.
It was time for the next evolution of my spiritual journey, and time to find a new community.
If you’re in that place right now—feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like your spiritual life is unraveling—I want you to know something:
Even though you might feel like it, you’re not alone.
Deconstruction can often feel like an endless free fall, leaving you feeling lonely, disoriented, and like you’ve lost who you really are… all while navigating the confusion and emotional turmoil that usually accompanies that journey… but it is possible to find your grounding again, build community, and feel comfortable in who you really are.
This is one of the things I love so much about The Lasting Supper– it’s a safe place for people who are deconstructing their faith to rebuild their identity, connect with a community, and find their path to spiritual freedom and independence. It’s a space where you don’t have to explain or defend yourself and you can ask the tough questions without fear of judgment or rejection.
I’ve been running “TLS” since 2012 and the doors are open right now if you’d like to join us.
Inside, you’ll find new friends who understand what you’re going through and you’ll get access to weekly resources to support you through all the ups and downs of deconstruction.
I’ve built TLS to be the safe, non-judgmental community and support I wish I had had when I started this journey, and you can join right now, risk-free, until tomorrow at midnight.
So if you’re ready to pull up a chair and join us at a table where you can truly belong, we would love to have you.
