| Sharing may seem like bragging. But it isn't, and here's why... (6 minute read)
In last week's post,I shared some of the basics of creating an email newsletter about our art. In the articles ahead, we'll explore them, and address our fears/doubts/am-I-doing-it-wrong moments.
One person shared their own fear: What if I sound like a narcissist?
This one was easy: If you're worried about sounding like a narcissist, then you aren't a narcissist. Because a true narcissists doesn't think they're doing anything wrong! They truly believe they are better than everyone else in the world, and don't understand why that bothers other people.
But I get that this might be a big concern for many of us, especially those who were subtly (or blatantly) encouraged not to be "too much" in our culture: Don't brag. Don't show off. Be quiet. Keep out of the spotlight. Be humble. Be all this, to the point of making ourselves so small, we can barely breathe.
I also believe this is why so many of us find doing our own art marketing so hard. We've incorporated those ancient beliefs that tooting our own horn is just not 'nice'. We wish someone else would do it for us.
And so many artists end up not doing it at all.
Here's the thing: There's a difference between bragging, and self-confidence. And self-confidence is healthier than self-denigration!
Like any other skill in life, practice helps. Start with a short little newsletter to your audience. Pick one thing that's going on with you in your artist life this month/week/day.
Let's start with that 'talking to a good friend' analogy I mentioned in last week's article.
Imagine you have a meet-up with a person you really like, and they really like you, and you haven't seen them for a while, what would you talk about?
HOW would you talk?
Would it be a monologue? Would it only be about the stuff you're proud of? Would your intention be to make yourself bigger than/better than your friend? Because bragging is a way to make other people feel less-than.
Or would you share your successes and breakthroughs in manageable "bites", with gratitude for your good fortune, with joy for what you've accomplished, knowing they will be genuinely happy for your success?
If you were working on a new project, and it didn't work out the way you intended, would you only complain about everything that went wrong? Whine about all the people who made it worse? Blame your shortcomings on others?
Or would you make it into a funny story that makes you both giggle? Or share how you worked through the hard parts and found a way through, knowing your friend would be happy you did?
Do you strive to present the "perfect life", like a social media 'influencer', carefully editing out anything that would mar your dream world? (If so, you'd better treat your friend to their meal.)
Or would you go back and forth, sharing the ups and downs, checking in with them about what they're up to, how their getting through, and sharing what's worked for you that MIGHT work for them, too?
I've read some newsletters that truly brag, the sender actively applauding themselves, congratulating themselves on how amazing they are, how talented, how rich, etc.
Bragging implies that rewards, success, wealth, and influence are a finite 'pie'. And if their share of the pie is huge, that means there's less for everyone else.
But what if we're simply acknowledging our gifts: The skills we've worked hard to acquire. The time we've carved out for ourselves, to make this work.
What if we let people have a peek into our life: Share our creative process. How we get our ideas? How we know when a piece is 'done'? What if we thank the people who have supported our work by purchasing it?
That's not 'bragging'. That's owning our own life, honoring our unique journey. Achieving what we've practiced and prepared for. Sharing our dreams and goals.
We get to do that.
We can share how we get 'set back', and how we found the courage to move forward again. It will encourage someone else to find their courageous heart, too.
We can tell how we got stuck somewhere in our latest project, and how we found our way through. It will let others know there are always things that get in the way, and help them not be discouraged, too.
We can write about something funny and charming that happened, and it will make someone else smile, too.
Acknowledging our gifts and being genuinely grateful for them is not evil. Self-confidence is not evil. There are ways to let people know that EVERYONE has a gift. This one just happens to be yours.
The pie is infinite. And if our slice is huge, that means there's plenty for everyone else, too.
I love this paragraph from an article I found while checking my own assumptions about bragging vs. self-confidence today:
"That's one reason many of us don't like to show off. We live in a highly competitive world, and we don't want someone else to feel badly just because we're feeling good. But sometimes that concern stops us from sharing good things that our friends, families and colleagues would actually like to know. And of course, in the workplace, there's a fine line between showing off and genuinely outlining accomplishments that can help you move forward professionally." (F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W.)
"Don't let that concern stop you from sharing good things...." Yep, there's my entire column today in 20 words or less.
Granted, a newsletter can feel like a one-sided conversation. But it really isn't. It's a way of sharing aspects of our life that people wouldn't otherwise see. Letting others in on that is courageous. Powerful. And good.
So once more, with feeling: Imagine someone who wants the best for you. Someone who loves you for who you are, and what you do. Someone who has found joy in your work, and wants to see/hear/learn MORE about what we're up to.
Write them a letter.
Then sit back and let the magic of authentic connection, grow.
Next week, I'll share some ideas of what to write about. In the meantime, if you've already found your 'happy place' with your newsletters, share some of your insights. Other people will be so grateful! If you've received a newsletter from someone else, and it spoke to you, share a) what it was that made you feel connected, and b) how it could work for YOU.
And last, if you enjoyed this article, and know someone else who might like it, too, feel free to pass it on. And if someone sent you this and you did like it, see more of my articles at FineArtViews.com, other art marketing topics at Fine Art Views art marketing newsletter, and my blog at LuannUdell.wordpress.com.
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