Counselor's Corner - How to Cope

By: Garry Barber, Ph.D.

Life is filled with difficulties that we must face and find effective ways to process and act upon. We are always coping with some stressor, some pressure, some challenging person, some nagging question.

The word "cope" finds its origins in a Greek word that meant "to strike with a fist." In Middle English, the term meant "to meet in battle and to come to blows with." So, when we speak of coping with a problem, what we mean is that we are going to battle against an issue in our life. We effectively cope by refusing to simply absorb the stressor, ignore the difficulty, or live as a victim to the cause of our pain. Unfortunately, we do not always fight these battles (cope) in healthy ways. We are all susceptible to falling back on strategies we have learned in the past, many of which are not effective in helping us move through problems.

Unproductive ways of dealing with life's struggles are known as Maladaptive Coping Strategies. Maladaptive coping strategies are ways of behaving (or thinking) that temporarily reduce the effects of stress while the stressor actually continues to maintain strength. In other words, these are the things we do to alleviate stress, which actually increases stress in the end.