Loose Threads: I'm afraid you might forget this whole thing after reading it: On Antimemetics and more!

amuse-bouche
Hi friends. I’m writing this from a moody Montauk morning where things move slower and feel a little less chaotic. I’m incredibly grateful for this little enclave we get to return to when the world feels like it’s too much to handle. I’m also feeling so inspired by the friends and fellow humans who took to the streets yesterday.

Loose Threads is where I try to make sense of things. But some weeks? Things are just… all over the place. This is one of those weeks. So, journey with me through the “AND-ness” (that’ll make sense in a minute). I’m here to give you a little escape, and to remind you that I’m a real human being, just like you, trying her best.

plat du jour: Today’s question: What’s your go-to hostess gift? What’s something memorable you’ve given or received?

Please leave your answers in the comment section of this post, or feel free to comment really anything there. I love love love that we have a section to engage here!

My own answer ranges from where I am in my life. For instance, there was a stretch during COVID when LF had a sizable paper flower shop inside Rockefeller Center (yes, really), and I would show up to dinners with bouquets of handmade paper flowers. It really makes me happy seeing them years later still thriving on desks and in bedroom vases.

Lately, I’ve been gifting two books, especially for friends who host me for a meal or overnight:

1. Wild Raspberries by Andy Warhol
A completely ridiculous cookbook (in the best way), created before Warhol became Warhol. Recipes by Suzie Frankfurt, calligraphy by his mother, and illustrations by Warhol himself. Fellow substacker Lauren Sands nailed it: “you don’t turn to it for the cooking — you turn to it for the feeling.” Fun fact: Suzie was the mother of my two favorite brothers Jaime and Peter Frankfurt, and Jaime has promised to show me the original version, which is apparently much bigger than the reprint. I’m holding him to it. It’s a whimsical, special gift for someone who makes you feel special.

2. Les Dîners de Galaby Salvador Dalí
British GQ calls it “a cookbook like no other,” and they’re right. Originally published in 1973, it features 136 recipes from iconic Paris restaurants like La Tour d’Argent and Maxim’s, all illustrated in Dalí’s surrealist style. I recently gifted it to a friend who made us the chicest 3 a.m. hot dogs in his majestic upstate kitchen last weekend. The experience— like the book— felt equal parts surreal, ridiculous, and grand.

The best gifts aren’t about the price, they’re about thoughtfulness. Unlike LSD, I’m okay with candles, but, like her, agree we can probably do better. What else you guys gifting?

Leave a comment

hors d’oeuvres
Tribeca Film Festival is in full swing!

On my radar:

• A Man with Sole: The Impact of Kenneth Cole, directed by Dori Berinstein.
  I got to work with KC during our LF x Mental Health Coalition —which is still live and available to shop! —and the man truly is a force. As Alan Cumming puts it, he’s “the pun meister of all pun meisters.” He made fashion a platform for social change groovy. He’s our north star.

• Dear Ms.: A Revolution in Print. I missed the screening (last day of school chaos), and the after-party, hosted by DVF and Gloria Steinem at the Chelsea Hotel, looked like the dream: an iconic room filled with iconic women you just want to listen to and learn from. I can’t wait to watch.

• Chanel’s annual Tribeca dinner at The Odeon was, as always, a highlight. I was seated next to artist Chase Hall, whose story and work left me aching for more!

plat principal
Let’s get dense, shall we? Stay with me here. Or, skip ahead to the quick links if this veers too far into stoner territory! You do you!

My husband and his best friend Zev are currently obsessed with a book that technically isn’t even out yet. They both struggle to explain it to me and yet can’t stop talking about it. Enthusiastically. Repeatedly. Annoyingly. Naturally, that made it a perfect rabbit hole for Loose Threads, so I followed them down it.

It is a sci-fi book called There Is No Antimemetics Divisionand apparently it’s a book that keeps Sam Altman up at night. It’s also Jack Clark’s (Anthropic cofounder) current favorite book. (Quick aside: My husband reminded me that when Isaac Asimov wrote his sci-fi in the 1950s, people thought it was laughably far-fetched. And, well, here we are.)

I have a pdf copy of this novel (which apparently the boys somehow obtained via the “dark web”) which I would link to here but I’m genuinely not sure how the legalities work around this sort of thing and I’m actually terrified to do so. Instead, I put the entire book into chat gpt and asked it to summarize it up for the layman. (Please don’t @ me about the environment. I KNOW I KNOW!). Here’s part of that summary:

Summary of There Is No Antimemetics Division by qntm (for the layperson):
"It’s a trippy, suspenseful piece of speculative fiction set in the SCP Foundation universe—a fictional secret organization charged with containing bizarre and dangerous phenomena. But this book focuses on one especially brain-melting concept: the antimeme.

So, what’s an antimeme?
An antimeme is an idea—or a being—that literally resists being remembered. You could see it, write it down, talk about it—and then moments later, you forget. Poof. Gone. Imagine trying to warn someone about a monster… but every time you speak, the words vanish, or they forget. Now imagine the monster knows once you notice it.

It’s the literal opposite of a meme. Ok…so outside of the science fiction world, this real word is also taking hold of the concept.

The New Yorker just dropped a piece called Why Good Ideas Die Quietly and Bad Ideas Go Viral.It reviews a separate book by Nadia Asparouhova called Antimemetics: Why Some Ideas Resist Spreading, (clearly “antimemetics” has entered the zeitgeist!) which explores how ideas don’t go viral because they’re good or true, they go viral because they’re catchy. In our noisy, overwhelmed world, what spreads isn’t necessarily what matters. It’s what grabs attention. And that, obviously, is a huge problem.

We all already feel this to be true. But if you’re into chewy, über-dense New Yorker reads, the piece is up your alley.

So, what’s the solution?
The article doesn’t land on a perfect fix, but it does offer a few directions forward:

1. Design better “containers” for good ideas.
   If bad ideas are sticky because they’re simple and punchy, then good ideas need to be more digestible too. That doesn’t mean dumbing them down, rather it means telling better stories and delivering ideas with emotional resonance. Humor, metaphor, and heart help.

2. Build and nurture healthy communities.
   Ideas thrive in groups, not in isolation. Creating spaces that value curiosity, honesty, and learning can help good ideas spread. It’s why I love Substack so much. Community matters as much as content.

3. Resist the attention economy trap.
   Not everything good needs to go viral. Some of the best thinking lives in smaller, quieter spaces: newsletters, late-night conversations, long dinners. Don’t confuse virality with value. Let the good stuff take root, even if it doesn’t trend.

That last one is probably the hardest one for my Millennial friends and me to wrap around, but I get the sense Gen Z is better set up to thrive here. (Based solely on this article I read yesterday about how Gen Z is using Instagram: more DMs and private chats, less perfection and polish.)

Which got me thinking… maybe part of resisting the pull of viral junk and forgetting what really matters is learning to live inside the contradictions. Maybe the antidote to an antimemetics isn’t just better packaging, it’s also holding onto the and. The hard truth and the daily joy. The chaos and the care. The monster in the room and the fact that someone still has to do school pickup.

Which leads me to:
Ezra Klein’s interview with Kathryn SchulzTitled: “Our Lives Are an Endless Series of ‘And’.”

Key takeaway: Life is full of contradictions. You can care deeply about injustice AND make sure your kid has their lunch packed. Holding space for complexity is a skill. Accepting life’s contradictions doesn’t mean giving up. It means expanding our capacity to experience life more fully, without judgment or denial. Anyway that’s what I took from it. There are other nuggets in there too like:

“It comports with my broad theory of happiness, which is: I think in our absolute worst moments, the thing that can sustain us is serving others. I really do. It’s really powerful to remember that there are other needs in the world, that other people have needs and that actually you can help meet them and ameliorate them in whatever small ways.

There’s no community on Earth that does not need your help. And it is good to get outside of your head and outside of your own misery. So if duty is part of your sense of happiness, you will never have to look far to replenish it.”

Yes. And.

Share

à la carte (Quick hits)

Everyone on my IG feed has thoughts on the new Ryan Murphy documentary on JFK Jr and Carolyn Bassett called American Love Story. And, the common consensus which I happen to agree with is that they desperately need someone new to style Carolyn. What a shame.

Our pals Gavin and Hope are basically the world’s chicest couple. And, their Harlem home is a constant source of design inspiration for us. You can now peep it in action at a party they hosted recently in T magazine.

The new hamptons home flex? It’s not a pool or a tennis court. It’s a giant boulder. Our friends Robin and Stephan of Roman and Willams tell me so, so it is so. More to come as their editorial issue for Cultured magazine will be out soon and their new prized boulder better be in it!

Do you have a master punchline?

Becky Malinsky says to wear all navy this summer, so I’ll be wearing all navy this summer (or at least for a couple of days!). This’ll work perfectly.

This is a fun easy trick to do with your kid - or your nieces and nephews?

So is this.

And FINALLY. HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all of those who celebrate. Above: some professional shots of my guy with our sons. Shot by Claiborne Swanson Frank last summer for her Father & Son book for Assouline, out now and the perfect gift for dad.

That’s it for now. Just a reminder that there are still kind, talented, interesting people out there doing cool things. Go find them—and dig it the most.

xo, Rachelle

Share