| I've been meaning to see a therapist for a while now. Actually, after my brother Mark took his life in 2016, I've been feeling like I need to process this with someone. A professional. Once in a while I'll notice I'm feeling deeply sad. Then Mark will come to mind. I've been wondering if they're connected. And... let me be honest... I would sometimes resort to alcohol to soothe my sadness. I mean... not drunk... but every day sometimes. For me... not healthy. It was hard to find an opening for a therapist. They are in high demand these days. But I found one. I had to wait for weeks to see her. But when I went in on Tuesday she introduced herself and said right off the bat, "I need you to know that I had to double check if I was meeting THE David Hayward. I've been following your work for a while now and I need you to know that." We talked around all that and I felt very comfortable proceeding. It was the right decision. She's good. I've come to discover that there was much more going on. Something about needing to be "seen" but afraid of the rejection that might follow. And somehow Mark is tied into this because he dared to be seen and was rejected... to the point where he felt the only way out was to take his life. Gosh I can hardly write this without filling up with a flood of emotions. I have some inner healing to do. Lots to process. I'm glad I found a good therapist right away. It's about time. Are you in therapy? Or want to be? Good experience? Or bad? You can confide in me. | 
