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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, November 16, in 1973, U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. ____________________________________________________ Bonehed Award: Man convicted of killing Tucson teenager gets life in prison _____________________________________________________ Q All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. --- J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984) ____________________________________________________ After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy, do it again!!!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Christopher Clements, 40, Tucson, Arizona, USA Man convicted of killing Tucson teenager gets life in prison A man convicted in the first of two murder cases in Tucson involving young girls was sentenced Monday to natural life in prison. Christopher Clements also got a 17-year prison term for kidnapping the teenage victim and it will be served consecutively with the life sentence for first-degree murder. Clements was convicted Sept. 30 in the death of 13-year-old Maribel Gonzalez. A different Pima County Superior Court jury will hear Clements second trial in February involving the death of 6-year-old Isabel Celis. Clements, a 40-year-old convicted sex offender with a long criminal record, was arrested in 2018 and indicted on 22 felony counts in the two girls deaths. Celis vanished from her parents Tucson home in April 2012 while Gonzalez disappeared while walking to a friends house in June 2014. Authorities said Gonzalezs body was found days after her disappearance while Celis remains werent recovered until 2017 after Clements led federal agents to the location. Clements currently is serving a prison term of up to 35 years for a Maricopa County burglary in 2017. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A doctor's secretary in Oregon called an old farmer out my way and said: "Your check came back." The old man replied, "So did my arthritis." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ On a trip to Enseada, Mexico, for the day, we parked in front of some interesting-looking shops. A little boy ran over to us and said, "Seor, I watch your car, fifty cent!" I asked him to wait "un momento" and entered a shop to ask the owner in Spanish about the young lad. He explained to me, "You give him the fifty cents, he runs away. You don't give him money, he runs away with your hubcaps and gas cap." ____________________________________________________ During taxi-ing towards their departure runway, the crew of a US AIR departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right on "Charlie" taxiway; you turned right on "Delta. Stop right there! I know it's difficult to tell the difference between C's & D's, but get it right!" Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "God, you've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to! Then, I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?" The humbled crew responded, "Yes, Ma'am." The ground control frequency went terribly silent; no one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at LGA was running high. Then an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?" ___________________________________ On a trip to Enseada, Mexico, for the day, we parked in front of some interesting-looking shops. A little boy ran over to us and said, "Seor, I watch your car, fifty cent!" I asked him to wait "un momento" and entered a shop to ask the owner in Spanish about the young lad. He explained to me, "You give him the fifty cents, he runs away. You don't give him money, he runs away with your hubcaps and gas cap." __________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wendi Hird, 56, Largo, Florida, USA Ex-Con Used Cat To Clobber Senior An ex-con is back behind bars after she allegedly struck her male roommate in the face with the pairs cat, according to an arrest report. Police say that Wendi Hird, 56, and the 73-year-old victim were involved in a verbal argument late Sunday evening in their Largo, Florida home when the dispute turned violent. Hird, cops say, took their cat and threw it on the victims face, causing the cat to scratch the victims face. Hird then followed up the feline attack by striking the man in the face. An arrest affidavit does not reveal the cats age or weight. The victim suffered minor injuries during the incident, for which Hird was arrested for domestic battery on a person over the age of 65, a felony. Hird, seen above, is being held in the county jail in lieu of $4000 bond, and has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim. Hirds rap sheet includes an assortment of convictions for crimes like theft, battery, drunk driving, possession of drug paraphernalia, prostitution, and probation violation. Following a 2005 conviction for battery on a law enforcement officer, Hird spent nearly five years in state prison. She had previously served a year in prison for escaping from police custody. In 2018, Hird was arrested for allegedly battering the same man who is identified as the victim in her new case. Prosecutors, however, subsequently declined to pursue a felony charge against Hird. The victim is described in 2018 court records as a platonic roommate of Hirds who previously had been a romantic partner. __________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Elaine Re: Onion Dear Webby, I used to read an online paper called Onion or something like that. It was rather goofy and had fake news, but was quite funny. Is it still around? Elaine Dear Elaine Yes, THEonion.com is definitely still active. Just don't take their "News" seriously! They take Demcrat propaganda and exaggerate it some more, but they also make up stories from scratch. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes a week. "I'd like to know why," she scoffed. The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, "maybe the horses are a lot older now?" _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 16, in 1776, British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. 1871, The National Rifle Association of America (NRA) was first chartered in the State of New York. 1885, Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 1907, Oklahoma was admitted as the 46th state.1776 - British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. 1871, The National Rifle Association of America (NRA) was first chartered in the State of New York. 1885, Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 1915, Coca-Cola had its prototype for a contoured bottle patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 1933, The United States and the Soviet Union established diplomatic relations for the first time. 1952, In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football for Charlie Brown. 1966, Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 1969, The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 1973, Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 1973, U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. 1981, A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 1985, Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 1988, Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 1994, Major League Soccer announced that it would start its inaugural season in 1996. 1997, China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for almost 18 years. 1998, In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a carefully selected group of teachers and students. 1998, It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal for the North American rights to a book about her affair with U.S. President Clinton. 1998, The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor contracts require arbitration. 1999, Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 2000, Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to visit Communist Vietnam. 2004, A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 2022 Do smiled.
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