Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 2 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge after leading deputies on 100 mph chase  ______________________________________________________ Today, December 1 in 1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to lead Cuba to communism. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't make up their own minds. --- Seth Hoffman A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ Nancy called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this report: In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says: "So how is your strange business going?" "What do you mean strange?" "Because you sell only trumpets and guns!" "So?" "Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?" "It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" A grandmotherly patron at the next table overheard and spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!" ______________________________________________________ >From Linda   St. Augustine Lighthouse (Florida _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Marissa Lucero, 18, Milwaukee, Wisconsin  Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge after leading deputies on 100 mph chase  The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office tells FOX6 News an 18-year- old Milwaukee woman was arrested for her second OWI offense early Tuesday morning, Nov. 27. Officials say Marissa Lucero led deputies on a chase reaching speeds of 100 mph. According to the sheriff's office, just after midnight deputies tracked a vehicle traveling on I-43 going 71 in a 50 mph zone. Authorities attempted to stop the vehicle, but it did not stop. A chase ensued and officials say the fleeing driver reached speeds in excess of 100 mph and veered through traffic. After exiting at Capitol Drive, officials say the vehicle struck a curb and damaged a front tire and axle. It came to a stop on a median near Messmer High School. The chase wasn't over. Lucero can be seen making a run for it just as backup arrives. Law enforcement can be seen giving chase. Lucero was captured by deputies and arrested. While leading Lucero back to the squad car, emotions took over. Lucero can be heard screaming for her mother over and over. Deputies found a half bottle of vodka on the front passenger floor of the vehicle she crashed. Two deputies received minor injuries in the chase. The sheriff's office says this is Lucero's second OWI offense -- with a previous arrest in May of this year. Lucero was not allowed to be behind the wheel due to the previous conviction. According to the sheriff's office, Lucero faces felony charges of Vehicle Operator Flee/Elude an Officer, 2nd Degree Recklessly Endangering Safety, and Resisting/Obstructing an Officer-Causing Soft Tissue Injury. Lucero will also receive a misdemeanor charge of Operating After Revocation-OWI-related, citations for speeding, and Refuse to Submit to Intox/Blood. If convicted on all charges, Lucero faces up to 20 years and nine months in prison. Lucero's bail has been set at over $6,000, so that she can afford to have another dingbat malfunction by the time she goes to court. 
 From: George Re: My own web site  Dear Webby, You advertise web space from $2.50 up. I can get web space for free from my ISP, but their support is somewhere in Asia and anything but helpful. They just deal with complaints and don't volunteer any useful information. For design they charge a ridiculous amount that obviously is just intended to totally discourage that avenue. I would imagine that the design costs extra even with your set-up. What would be a reasonable guess for a small business site? George  Dear George That depends entirely on how much information you can provide. Actual design is cheap, because we are good and fast with it. However, interrogation to drag the information out of you, about what you might want on your site, that is $150 / hour. If you gather the information together and put it into an email, attach the pictures you want on the site and describe what you want to accomplish, then the design will be $50. We will set it up with re-usable blocks like headers, side-menu, footers, etc. and easy to update content blocks. For a consistent corporate look and feel you can clone any page and just use a different content block, and we show you how to do that. With our system, the only difficult part is the getting around to getting started gathering your info. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now GopherBait," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little." 
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 A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Winter Clothes  Now is a great time of year to get good deal on winter clothing as stores make space for spring apparel. You can also find deep discounts on ski and snowboarding equipment in the next couple months. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
 Wander through the Sicilian village in a cave frozen in time. 
 ___________________________________________________ A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies. "Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishin', sir." "Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?" The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!" ___________________________________________________ Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!" The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from Goldstein's, and she says because they just ran out of them. The owner then says, "Ha! When I'm out of them, they're only $29.95!"  
 Today December 2 in 1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. 1816 The first savings bank in the U.S., the Philadelphia Savings Fund Society, opened for business. 1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor blades. 1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the eastern front. 1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It was the successor to the Model T. 1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago. 1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian society. 1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to lead Cuba to communism. 1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of the passengers were reporters and photographers. 1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operations. 1980 The Central Committee of Poland's Communist Party announced major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at coping with labor unrest. 1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. He lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first of its kind. 1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan. 1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India. 1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free all- German elections since 1932. 1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did not occur. 1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of the Maastricht Treaty on European unity. 1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix the Hubble Space Telescope. 1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM under which the company would spend more than $51 million on safety and research. 1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion dollar mission intended to study the sun. 1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising by President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had concluded that they had not violated election laws. 1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to help immunize children in developing countries. 1999 The British government transferred political power over the province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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