Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 28 ____________________________________________________ Today, November 28 in 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Ex-Con Jailed On Grand Theft Burrito robbery _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. --- P. J. O'Rourke _______________________________________________ A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 2, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "No, I don't want THAT one back. I mean the one that I want them to find for me!" ________________________________________________` Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Praying Hands Rock ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Timothy Bell, 29, Phoenix, Arizona Ex-Con Jailed On Grand Theft Burrito robbery An Arizona felon is back behind bars following his arrest last Saturday night on a grand theft burrito charge, cops report. According to investigators, Timothy Bell, 29, approached a man on a Phoenix street and took that person's property by force while making threatening statements. The stolen property, a felony complaint states, was a burrito, of a value less than $1000. After having his burrito stolen, the victim called 911 and followed Bell until police located the ex-con and arrested him on a downtown Phoenix street around 8:40 PM. Bell, who is listed as a transient in court records, was found in possession of a wrapper from burrito he stole, cops reported. Seen above, Bell was booked into the Maricopa County jail on a felony robbery charge for which no bond has been set. He is scheduled to be arraigned on December 6 in Superior Court. Bell's rap sheet includes two separate state prison terms and convictions for weapons possession, disorderly conduct, trespassing, and narcotics possession. Bell is currently on probation in connection with a 2015 conviction for misconduct involving weapons, a felony for which he served nearly three years in custody. Any robbery while on probation results in jail time. He will get his Christmas dinner in jail, at your expense. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Barry Re: Yahoo mail formatting trick Dear Webby, I think I have solved it. In AT&T Yahoo, you have the option of using "Classic Mail" or "All-new Mail" format. Depending on which format you were in when you first get your newsletter, if you switch to the other format, presto...there it is. Hope this helps your other readers. Barry Dear Barry Thanks! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. >From High School Exams: 1. Chemistry: Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. 2. Biology: The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u. 3. Sex Ed: To prevent contraption: wear a condominium. 4. First Aid: For drowning, climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically. "We could pay off your Visa," he responded. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gardening On A Budget I think that the easiest way to garden on a budget is to have patience and to gain a collection of plants that are simple propagators; for example Sedum. You can break a piece from the mother plant and plunge it into the ground and it will stay green and thrive. The following year will bring you a hardy new plant with multiple stalks to fill out more and more with each year. I also like to buy hardy plants that can be safely split, like day-lilies already bloomed. These often get discounted after the flowers are gone. Take it home and slice it in half and plant it. You will have two fuller plants the following year, and it may re-bloom late summer. You can save a lot of money by asking for clippings, buds, or seeds from friends and family or by purchasing one plant and having some patience. By Gina from Collegeville, PA Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Bubba and Betty-Sue got married and were on their way to Disney World for their honeymoon. When they got within 20 miles, Bubba put his hand on Betty-Sue's knee. Betty-Sue told him: "Oh, darling, were are married now. You can go further." So, like the real red-neck he is, he put both hands on the steering wheel, stomped down the accelerator, and drove all the way to Miami. ___________________________________________________ While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "Really?" said the tourist. The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em." ___________________________________________________ One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?". The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach ? Broccoli ?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, November 28 in 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member of the British Parliament. 1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove. 1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II. 1953 New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike of photoengravers. 1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic within the French community. 1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of residents. 1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Canaveral on a course set for Mars. 1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab in its cargo bay. 1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning Northern Ireland. 1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or "confidential." 2019 Do smiled. |
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