Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 8 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 8  1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane to cross the English Channel. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Floriduh man tried to steal cars from jail parking lot. After 27 vehicles they let him back inside.  ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters. --- Margaret Halsey Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. --- Doug Larson _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!" When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!" And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!" But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'." ______________________________________________________`   They are late this year, but as nice as always. _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Dennis Libonati, 68, Homosassa, Florida  Floriduh man tried to steal cars from jail parking lot. After 27 vehicles they let him back inside.  Minutes after being released from custody, a Florida Man sought to steal numerous vehicles in a jail parking lot because he needed wheels to use for transportation, according to a criminal complaint. Dennis Libonati, 68, was freed Monday evening from the jail in Land O' Lakes after his sentencing earlier in the day for battery. Libonati pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge and was sentenced to 265 days of probation and ordered to attend an anger management class. Libonati had been locked up since his arrest in mid-March. The court complaint refers to the jail as the LOL Detention facility. According to police, upon Libonati's release around 10:30 PM, he entered a restricted area of the jail parking lot and attempted to enter 26 vehicles, all of which were locked. Surveillance cameras recorded Libonati accessing the bed of a pickup truck used by the sheriff's office, and he was also spotted spending several minutes at a Kawasaki Mule ATV used by deputies. When cops confronted Libonati in the parking lot, he reportedly confessed to attempting entry into the vehicles with the intent to steal one to use for transportation. He also admitted trying to hot wire the ATV, cops say. He just kept trying door handles until they let him back into jail. Libonati, who is listed in court records as being retired and living in Homosassa on Florida's Gulf Coast, was charged with 27 auto burglary counts and a single grand larceny rap. He is also facing a probation violation count.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Ann Re: Windows Updates  Dear Webby can you please let me have the directions for the update for the Microsoft Windows Security Update. I recieved 2 notifications about it in my mail but both were infected with a worm virus. I am not sure if this was sent from Microsoft and the worm attached itself along the way, or if it was sent by a nasty type!! I have been away for a while and heard about the update from friends. Is it necessary to download this? Thanks Ann  Dear Ann First, change the time zone on your computer. Because your time is incorrect, your mail gets lost way back in amongst long taken care of mail. I found yours accidentally because I had to go back there for some other mail. DON'T download those phony update notices! Just carefully find and delete the attachments, then delete those mails. Microsoft does NOT EVER send out update notices, especially not from AOL or Yahoo addresses. They have a lot more class than that. Windows has an option built in for automatically getting updates directly from Microsoft. Just click on the desktop, hit F1, and seachr for "updating" to see how that is handled by the version of Windows that you are using. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 >From Roland A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into her car, an ancient Caddillac Fleetwood as old as she is, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at a speef of at least 30mph for it to start. She said "fine!" hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 40 mph, I suddenly realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions. 
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 Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's great." The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm a God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me...." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Skeleton Costume Take an old black sweat suit and paint bones on it with white paint. Use glow-in-the-dark paint and it will look extra spooky. You also can glue on white felt or a glow-in-the-dark material for the bones. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
I wonder why people would make up these awful stories and books for children? I've only heard of one of these scary stories and never liked it. 
 ___________________________________________________ "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." ___________________________________________________ The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, we better run!" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Prosecutor: "Now would you please tell the Jury the truth - why did you shoot your husband with a bow and arrow?" Defendant : "I didn't want to wake up the children." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, July 8 in 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around in Jerusalem. 1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by Samuel de Champlain. 1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to Rhode Island. 1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized. 1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended. 1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as their disputes in the New World intensified. 1776 Col. John Nixon gave the first public reading of the U.S. Declaration of Independence to a crowd at Independence Square in Philadelphia. 1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium. 1795 Kent County Free School changed its name to Washington College. It was the first college to be named after U.S. President George Washington. The school was established by an act of the Maryland Assembly in 1723. 1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of Napoleon. 1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun. 1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from San Francisco, CA. 1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured chocolate syrup on ice cream in a dish. Up to that time chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream sodas. 1889 The Wall Street Journal was first published. 1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds. 1907 Florenz Ziegfeld staged his first "Follies" on the roof of the New York Theater in New York City. 1919 U.S. President Wilson returned from the Versailles Peace Conference in France. 1947 Demolition work began in New York City for the new permanent headquarters of the United Nations. 1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of United Nations forces in Korea. 1953 Notre Dame announced that the next five years of its football games would be shown in theatres over closed circuit TV. 1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He was shot down in a U-2 spy plane. 1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen. 1969 The U.S. Patent Office issued a patent for the game "Twister." 1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane to cross the English Channel. 1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes. 1997 The Mayo Clinic and the U.S. government warned that the diet-drug combination known as "fen-phen" could cause serious heart and lung damage. 1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to join the alliance in 1999. 2000 J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" was released in the U.S. It was the fourth Harry Potter book. 2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by a solar powered plane. 2019 Do smiled.