Googlad0r Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 8 Thank you, Laurence !!! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Girl Attacked Teacher Over Candy Seizure _____________________________________________________ Today, November 8 in 2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. _____________________________________________________ I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. --- Shelley Winters (1922 - 2006) "Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it." --- Don Herold _____________________________________________________ Points The Successful Computer Operator Should Always Remember: When operating a computer, whatever happens, behave as though you meant for it to happen. When you reach the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but not necessarily what you intended it to do. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ "I'm telling you, Carol, I've never been happier, " Betty told her friend. "I have two boyfriends. One is just fabulous...handsome,sensitive, caring and considerate." What in the world do you need the second one for?" Carol asked?" "Oh," Betty replied, "the second one is straight." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mug shot is of her mother, who claimed that her sweet little angel would not do something like that. Miesha Bryant, Zellwood, Orange County, USA Girl Attacked Teacher Over Candy Seizure -A 10-year-old Florida girl is facing a felony charge for allegedly attacking her elementary school teacher and threatening the educators life. The assault, police report, was triggered when the teacher seized a bag of Halloween candy that the girl brought to class. Fifth-grader Miesha Bryant was arrested last Tuesday after an Orange County Sheriffs Office deputy was summoned to the girls classroom at Zellwood Elementary School. According to a sheriffs report, teacher Kelly Sanchez told investigators that she was holding the candy until the end of the day. At one point, Sanchez said, the girl went behind her desk and took the bag of candy without her permission. The child then began throwing pieces of candy at classmates, added Sanchez. After Sanchez again confiscated the bag of candy, the girl started throwing items from the teachers desk. While Sanchez waited for a school resource officer to arrive, a deputy reported, Miesha struck the teacher in the stomach and side and also stated that she would kill Ms. Sanchez and her family. The resource officer brought the girl to an assistant principals office. When a sheriffs deputy later arrived at the Zellwood school, the 4 tall, 80-pound Miesha was handcuffed and being held down in a chair while she was screaming and flailing her legs around. She was transported to a juvenile detention facility, where she was later released into her mother's custody. In a TV interview, Sebrina Bryant said she was angered that Miesha was arrested for the incident, and did not believe her daughter would hit or threaten a teacher. But when a WFTV reporter asked the child why she threatened the teacher, the girl replied, I was mad. The State Attorney's Office will soon decide whether Miesha will be prosecuted for battery (and a misdemeanor count of disrupting an educational institution) or whether she will be placed into a diversion program DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Pam RE: Windows Colors messed up Dear Webby, I lent my laptop to my MIL, and her daughter totally squewed up all the colors in Windows. You had taught me once upon a time, lonng, long ago, how to make active windows have a green top bar and border and inactive windows a red bar and borders, and have very visible colors for text. Now everything is as squewed up as my MIL is. BAD, BAD DOPE! Unfortunately, due to my Oldtimers disease, I cana't remember how to set all those colors. Btw., I use W7. Life is too short for getting hassled with W10. Thanks Pam Dear Pam Right-click on the desktop Personalize Appearance again Personalize There, hidden way down you can select Windows Classic and below that the second bottom from the left is for Window Color In there you can set EVERYTHING! Menu bars colors and fonts and sizes, border colors and sizes, anything you can think of. There is no need to put up with a dopey color scheme. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well meaning husband who has inherited the house and kids.) Monday A.M. Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger- sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around six. Tuesday A.M. Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the frig. Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the Thermoses? The school might call you about this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your door-to- door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili. Wednesday A.M. Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely spot for Chris's missing shoes? We've checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers? There's some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the oven drawer. Will be late tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house. Thursday A.M. Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9 P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to following: 1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal? 2. How do you turn off the milkman? 3. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots? 4. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy's hand? 5. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the door? I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me! Friday A.M. Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time. I called your mother. have a great day. ____________________________________________ Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped. One warm April day Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!" ____________________________________________ >from Joe My wife just left, and the well went dry. My horse is sick and about to die. Then my still blew up and the barn burned down, and the road washed out on the way to town. Then my dog got rabies and bit the cat, and they both died soon after that. Now I lost my specs, and my pipe-stem broke, so I can't even sit and read and smoke. A tree fell on the chicken shed, and most of the hens got smashed plumb dead. Then a chimney fire took half of a wall, and this old shack is about to fall. Then I caught my heel on an old dead vine, and sat smack dab on a porcupine. Then a beaver dam broke and my bridge washed out, and my watch stopped working and I've got the gout. And the bank foreclosed, so I've lost my place, and my cow disappeared without a trace. They cut off my credit at the grocery store, and I lost my job and a whole lot more. I must have been hexed by a triple curse, as things keep going from bad to worse. And now fate has hit me a last dirty crack, to top off the worst - my wife's coming back! ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 8 in 1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for the first time. 1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first X-ray pictures. 1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed people in the U.S. 1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and British forces landed in French North Africa. 1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a North Korean MiG-15. 1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's only son. 1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage", premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary, but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD) introduced legislation to provide a site on the National Mall for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the planet Saturn. 1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was "an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter, contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco, David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to negotiate a release. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist violence. 1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were valued at $52 million. 1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for the Three Gorges Dam. 2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993 seige of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 2020 Do smiled. |
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