Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 7 home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Illinois man arrested for paying court fines using stolen credit card info  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 7 in 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer. --- From the 1985 movie "Bliss" Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised its level of unruliness. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Michael Auttonberry, 59, West Monroe, Louisiana  Louisiana Man Tells Cops That A Ghost Planted Meth On Him  After police found methamphetamine in plain view on a nightstand in his home, a Louisiana man claimed that a ghost placed the narcotics in his residence, according to an arrest report. Responding to a reported stabbing, sheriff's deputies early yesterday encountered Michael Auttonberry, 59, at the door of his West Monroe residence. Auttonberry, seen at right, cursed at cops and people who were obviously not there. Deputies quickly determined that Auttonberry had not, as he claimed in a 911 call, been stabbed on the head by an axe. Nor were there any intruders inside his home. While making sure that Auttonberry's residence was clear, a deputy spotted in plain view on a night stand a open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine. A subsequent search of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing another gram of meth. Auttonberry surmised that a "ghost or intruders" placed the meth on him and were exiting the home through a nearby window. Which was not accurate, investigators noted. Auttonberry was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor criminal mischief count. He is being held in the Ouachita Parish jail in lieu of $5000 bond. 
 From: Nofries Re: WiFi Problem  Dear Webby, I tried to use my new laptop's wifi at two places this past week. Both places offered free wifi access and when I switched on the wi fi it detected the signal and connected. Then I could not surf, when I tried to open Internet Explorer I got the message, "IE cannot display this web page." I'm not too tech savvy and was embarrassed beyond belief that I could not figure this out. I have windows XP pro and ran the Network Diagnostics for Windows XP, and checked the Tools >Internet Options>Advanced>and made sure the SSL and TSL were enabled. Could it have been my firewall or security? I use free Zonealarm, Ad-aware, and AVG. I seem to recall Zonealarm asking to allow something and I said yes. I also use AOL, I know - my bad! I just tried to Google the error message with no luck. Is there a web site for dummies to get help with tech problems? I'm visually oriented and can figure out most things with written instructions. Do you have any advice or link to a problem solving site for dummies? Love your daily Humor letter! nofries ps--Still have dial up Internet at home, in SE USA. I will have to stick to dial up for 6-8 months or so, can you recommend an ISP?  Dear Nofries Normally, with free or public WIFI you automatically get a browser screen from the WIFI provider, and you have to log in with the user name and password that is usually on a card on the table or posted somewhere. Sometimes you have to sign up and fill out your name and address and bra size and all kinds of demographic information. The rule there is: "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer." Just make up some stuff if it is too personal. Then you get a user name and password. Close the browser, and when you open it again with the log-on screen, use that user name and password. Until you log on, your browser doesn't go anywhere, except that log-on screen, and the WiFi signal strength will be very low. Don't be shy about asking staff how to log on. I ask, if the usual routine does not work, and I have logged onto WIFI at many hundreds of places. Usually the staff knows even less about it than you, but they will give you a number to call. The people at that support number will have you connected within seconds. Re a dial-up in SE USA, try Earthlink. I have sent hundreds of people to them, and all seem to be happy. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 A teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their father did for a living an then spell the occupation. A girl named Mary went first. "My dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give each of us a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker,b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician. But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to little Johnny. "My dad is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8-to-5 that Jimmy ain't never gonna spell electrician!" 
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 A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Food Lost During a Power Outage If you have homeowners insurance, food that has to be thrown out during a power outage may be covered by your policy. Check with your insurance company to be sure. Some insurance policies will cover up to $500.00 per appliance if you provide a general list of what was lost and its replacement value.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
13 Things I found on the internet today 5-15-2018 by Messy Nessy. 
 ___________________________________________________ There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 
 Today October 7 in 1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of Saratoga began. 1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. 1918 The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland College 222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards and never threw a pass. 1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops over the border into North Korea. 1951 The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the first hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and pillows. 1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union. 1968 The Motion Picture Association of America adopted the film- rating system that ranged for "G" to "X." 1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next president of Egypt. 1985 The United States announced that it would no longer automatically comply with World Court decisions. 1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism in favor of democratic socialism. 1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, and naval firepower to Somalia. 1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks from offering other cards. 1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves. 2000 Vojislav Kostunica took the oath of office as Yugoslavia's first popularly elected president. 2001 The U.S. Canada and Great Britain began airstrikes in Afghanistan in response to that state's support of terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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