Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, November 22 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Ice Age is Coming! 20 cm (8") snow looks pretty. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 22 in  1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Meth in Belly Button _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ To be great is to be misunderstood. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) _______________________________________________ A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy. ----- You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink! ________________________________________________` From Noella ____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Martin Skelly, 41, St. Petersburg, Floriuh Meth in Belly Button Following his arrest for possession of a hypodermic needle containing methamphetamine, a 380-pound Florida Man was hit with additional felony charges after jail personnel discovered a bag of meth wedged deep within the belly button cavity of the defendant, according to a court affidavit. Police responding late Friday to a suspicious person call placed by employees of a McDonald's in Clearwater arrested Martin Skelly when a search of the 41-year-old St. Petersburg resident turned up the loaded needle. Following Skelly's collar for possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia, cops asked him if he was in possession of any other contraband, since he could face additional charges if he brought illegal items into the county jail. Seen above, Skelly denied having any additional contraband on his person. However, during intake processing at the jail, Skelly was subjected to a thorough body search that resulted in the discovery of a small plastic bag containing 2.7 grams of meth. A jail deputy reported that the baggie was wedged deep within the belly button cavity of the 5' 8 defendant. After the meth stash was found around 1:45 AM Saturday, Skelly reportedly told an investigator, I was just being dumb and not thinking. The discovery of the hidden meth resulted in two additional felony charges being filed against Skelly--introducing contraband into a correctional facility and narcotics possession. He is locked up in lieu of $9150 bond. Skelly's criminal record includes a three-year stretch in state prison for cocaine trafficking and busts for theft, drunk driving, narcotics possession, violating probation, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lorraine Re: Why so strict against compressed air cans? Dear Webby, Why are you so strict against compressed air? Lorraine Dear Lorraine Remember, years ago during the Ozone hoax period, when all fridges and freezers and air conditioners had to have the freon replaced with some more expensive gas, that was ozone friendly? A lot of that freon was just vented into the air, but some was stored, just in case somebody came up with a safe use for it. So now they are getting rid of it one can of "compressed air" at a time. Some kids have found out that huffing that stuff makes them feel weird, and every year a few dozen kids die from huffing it. The other reason to bitch against it is that even if you enjoy blasting cookie crumbs from the keyboard into your cleavage, if I am not appointed to fish them out, then I am against that silly practise. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'
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This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. ---- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Create an Inventory List for Household Products To cut down on buying items you already have, create an inventory list for the bathroom, kitchen and pantry. Create two columns. Column 1 is to list the items you like to have on hand and column 2 is to check off when you run out of an item. Laminate the sheet of paper and use a dry erase marker to mark the appropriate column. Hang the papers in easily accessible locations that you can remember, like the inside of the medicine cabinet or on the fridge. By Lynn from Oregon Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________
Big Dogs With Small Beds
___________________________________________________ Two doctors are walking down the corridor of the hospital. First doc asks, "Did you tell that politician in room 316 that he was going to die?" "Sure did", second one answers. First doc says, "Darn! I wanted to tell him!" ___________________________________________________ A nursing home resident, suffering from dementia, decided to shed all of her clothes and "streak." She passed two male residents sitting in their wheel chairs in the hallway. The first male asked the second, "Who was that?" Second: "I THINK it was 'Miss Rita.'" First: "Well, what was that she had on?" Second: "I don't know, but I think it needs ironing." ___________________________________________________ Two little boys are in a hospital laying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out, and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!" The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!" __________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today, November 22 in 1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated in New Jersey. 1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin adopted the SOS distress signal. 1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood shafts in golf clubs. 1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed publicly. 1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's right to exist. 1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation Organization observer status. 1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of Gen. Francisco Franco. 1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid $4 million for the broadcast rights. 1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between New York and Europe. 1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. nuclear missiles in West Germany. 1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day after her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for spying for Israel. 1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from Angola. 1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American Free Trade Agreement. 1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the gunman were killed in the gun battle. 1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire in response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for second-degree murder. 2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 2019 Do smiled. 

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