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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 28, in 1980, Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Awards: Life In Prison For Best Buy Delivery Man Who Killed, Burned Boca Raton Woman __________________________________________________ Q Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it. --- Warren Buffett (1930 - ) I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. --- Marshall McLuhan (1911 - 1980) --- Joe Biden We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. --- W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973) _________________________________________________ Randy, was on a hunting trip up in West Virginia. He became rather cold and thirsty so decided to stop in at his Mother in law's place and ask for something to drink. She said, "You look really cold, how about a bowl of soup." There was a wee Vietnamese pig running around the kitchen, running up to Randy and giving him a great deal of attention.Randy commented, "That pig sure is friendly." Bill, his father in law replied: "Arnold's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." __________________________________________________ A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Jorge Lachazo, Boca Raton, Florida, USA Life In Prison For Best Buy Delivery Man Who Killed, Burned Boca Raton Woman The Best Buy delivery man accused of killing a 75-year-old Boca Raton woman while delivering a washer and dryer in 2019 was convicted of the grizzly murder late Wednesday afternoon. Jorge Lachazo was working with another man when they delivered the washer and dryer to Evelyn Udell on August 20th, 2019. The man went out side and later told police he heard screams and smelled smoke. Police learned quickly that Lachazo had smashed Udell with a mallet, and then set her body on fire with paint thinner. He was charged with first degree murder. The crime rocked Boca Raton and Best Buy, which immediately moved into damage control mode working quickly to convince customers that its delivery workers are not traditionally cold-blooded killers. Lachazo automatically faces life in prison. ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy. ----- You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink! --- Beetle Bailey ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ____________________________________________________ After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be. Our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations." "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months" "Well, there you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's rust." ____________________________________________________ An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost". __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!" ____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: GrannyMia RE: Why fiber? Dear Webby! I realize that the ISPs and phone company are fanatic about wanting to go to fiber. Here too. WHY? Copper never goes bad, never corrodes, and if they say it does, then they are lying.I got copper lines in the basement that are 125 years old, and they are not the least bit corroded. So, why are the liars so fanatic about fiber? GrannyMia Dear GrannyMia! On copper it is difficult to run many separate clients on the same wire, like they used to do on the old railroad telegraph system. If they would read the instructions and do what the old railroaders did, they probably COULD run 256 customers per wire. On fiber it is easier, there they can assign a color to each customer and run, theoretically, 16 Million on one fiber. It won't get them new clients, but the theory impressed some yuppies in te head office. They will never get up to South Korean speeds. By the time they get to 200 Mbps all across, everybody in South Korea will have 400 Mbps. Becaue of all the hype and lies, fiber seems more vauable to the victims, so they charge more. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Little Johnny asked the librarian how to use the card catalogue. After pouring over the little drawers full of cards he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila." "T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny went back to his search. A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite upset. "I just can't find it." he said. "What book are you looking for?" the librarian asked. "Tequila Mockingbird." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 28 in 1521, The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 1547, England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by his 9 year-old son, Edward VI. 1788, The first British penal settlement was founded at Botany Bay, Australia. 1807, London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by gaslight. 1871, France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War. 1878, The first telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven, CT. 1878, "The Yale News" was published for the first time. It was the first, daily, collegiate newspaper in the U.S. 1902, The Carnegie Institution was established in Washington, DC. It began with a gift of $10 million from Andrew Carnegie. 1909, The United States ended direct control over Cuba. 1915, The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S. Congress to fight contraband trade and aid distressed vessels at sea. 1916, Louis D. Brandeis was appointed by President Wilson to the U.S. Supreme Court, becoming its first Jewish member. 1918, The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland. 1922, The National Football League (NFL) franchise in Decatur, IL, transferred to Chicago. The team took the name Chicago Bears. 1935, Iceland became the first country to introduce legalized abortion. 1945, During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching China over the newly reopened Burma Road. 1957, The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that circus clown Emmett Kelly had been hired to entertain fans at baseball games. 1958, Construction began on first private thorium-uranium nuclear reactor. 1965, General Motors reported the biggest profit of any U.S. company in history. 1973, CBS-TV debuted "Barnaby Jones." 1980, Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran. 1982, Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier General James L. Dozier. 42 days before he had been kidnapped by the Red Brigades. 1986, The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. 1994, In Los Angeles, Superior Court Judge Stanley Weisberg declared a mistrial in the case of Lyle Menendez in the murder of his parents. Lyle, and his brother Erik, were both retried later and were found guilty. They were sentenced to life in prison without parole. 1998, In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400 children and teachers for several hours at an elementary school. 1999, Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo AB for $6.45 billion. 2002, Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27 Toys R Us stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut costs and boost operating profits. 2022 Do smiled.
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