Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 21 Ice Age is Coming! ____________________________________________________ Today, November 21 in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. "Winding IN and winding OUT, don't know whether the lout who built this rout was going to hell or coming out" That was carved into the outhouse door at quite a few Alaska Highway rest stops. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Sex offender arrested for kidnapping, rape of 15-year-old Wichita girl _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) _______________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the University President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Three minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the University President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ________________________________________________` Edie Young Obryant ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Seymour, 58, Wichita, Kansas Sex offender arrested for kidnapping, rape of 15-year-old Wichita girl Wichita police say they've arrested a 58-year-old convicted rapist accused of forcing a 15-year-old girl into his car and raping her. Jail records show Anthony Seymour was booked Tuesday morning for kidnapping, rape, aggravated battery, aggravated criminal sodomy and a state hold. Officers responded at around 6:20 p.m. Monday to an abduction call in the 300 block of North Volutsia, near 2nd and Grove. They located a black 2005 Lexus driven by Seymour leaving the area. The 15-year-old victim then got out of the car and ran toward officers. Seymour fled but was later located and arrested near 17th and Hillside. The Wichita Police Department said in a news release that the girl was walking home and was approached by Seymour. Police say he held a knife to her, forced her into his car and sexually assaulted her. Kansas offender records show Seymour is on parole for a 2004 conviction of rape of a 14-year-old girl. He was last released from prison in May of 2018. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Amira Re: Safe comprssed air Dear Webby, Which brand of compressed air is safe? I read that some brands contain gases that the kids use to get stoned and often die from. Naturally I don't want those around. Amira Dear Amira None of them are safe, for one reason or another. If you want to be silly and blow dust from one place to a harder to clean other place, use a straw and blow into it. If you want to clean up the dust bunnies in and under your computer or clean the cookie crumbs from your keyboard, use a vacuum cleaner. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done. One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Experimental Decorating With What You Have I have a friend who is relocating for her new job and doesn't want to bring anything with her - or even buy new furniture, as she doesn't know how long she will be there. If I were her, I would use it as a chance to do some cheap experimental decorating. Make a little side table out of a large roll of newspapers tied, with a glass plate on top. Or a pile of old hardback books. Make bottle lamps with converters from the hardware store, wine bottles and thrift shop shades. Use old wood crates for side tables. Make brick and board bookcases. Put your mattress on the floor. Put transparent contact paper on the windows for privacy. Look around for neat found objects. (I had a big piece of wood I dragged in from a camping trip in the big living room of my old NYC apt. Or collect neat river stones or shells). Make a footstool from a foam cooler covered with a remnant. Make wastepaper baskets from recycled ice cream cardboard containers wangled from your local ice cream place. Recycle any and all containers you can. Be creative! By Pamphyila from L.A., CA Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ | | Pepsi MAX Jeff Gordon Test Drive 2 |
___________________________________________________ A man went to get his driver's license renewed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," she reassured the man. "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." ___________________________________________________ The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked Bobbie, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 25 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 130 degrees, 15 minutes West longitude...?" After a confused silence Bobbie replied, "I guess you'd be eating alone. That's halfway to Hawaii, and I can't swim." ___________________________________________________ Randy, was on a hunting trip up in West Virginia. He became rather cold and thirsty so decided to stop in at his Mother in law's place and ask for something to drink. She said, "You look really cold, how about a bowl of soup." There was a wee Vietnamese pig running around the kitchen, running up to Randy and giving him a great deal of attention.Randy commented, "That pig sure is friendly." Bill, his father in law replied: "Arnold's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, November 21 in 1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 1694 French author and philosopher Jean Francois Voltaire was born. At age 65 he spent only three days writing "Candide." Voltaire claimed Earth was the insane asylum of the Universe. 1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5 miles over Paris. 1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. "Winding IN and winding OUT, don't know whether the lout who built this rout was going to hell or coming out" That was carved into the outhouse door at quite a few Alaska Highway rest stops. 1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures against Cuba. 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, arrived in San Antonio, TX. They were beginning an ill-fated, two-day tour of Texas that would end in Dallas. 1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18?-minute gap in one of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out "who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas. Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas) 1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, NV. 1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual advances toward 10 women in past years. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making the District of Columbia the 51st state. 1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe area" of Bihac. 1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a test site in the South Pacific. 1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep the presidential recounts going. 2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 2019 Do smiled. |
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