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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 15, in 1903, Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced the first teddy bear in America. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Calgary road rage shooting suspect turns herself in. __________________________________________________ Q I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. --- Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965) The Carbon Tax scheme is just a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- D.W. ________________________________________________ Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son after years of hoping. The boy immediately became the apple of his father's eye. Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan said to him, "Son, I love you very much. Your birthday is coming soon What would you like?" His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane." His father bought him American Airlines. Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my pride and joy. Ask what you want for your birthday. Whatever it is, it's yours." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." His father bought him the Princess Cruise Line. Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son,you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons." His father bought him Disney Studios. Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my life. Your birthday is coming soon. Ask what you wish. I will get it for you. His son, who had grown to love Disney, replied, "Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit and a Goofy outfit." His father bought him the Democratic Party and CNN news. __________________________________________________ A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder. "Well," commented her husband, "sounds like she got told where to go." __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ The computer swallowed grandma Yes, honestly it's true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the computer. They are the greatest!!! __________________________________________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ____________________________________________________ Jeanne ___________________________________________________ A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that queer shit in OUR garden!" she said. ___________________________________________________ Three geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods." The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk." The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you Sam? We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!" After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?" The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Karma Singh, 20, Calgary, Alberta, Canada Calgary road rage shooting suspect turns herself in. Karma Singh, 20, was wanted by police after evidence led investigators to believe she was involved in the shooting on Nov. 11, 2022. Police said around 5:30 p.m. on that day, a driver heading eastbound on McKnight Boulevard N.E. entered the off-ramp to southbound Deerfoot Trail when a white 2010 Impala sped in front of them and slammed on its brakes. Both vehicles continued to merge onto Deerfoot Trail, with the victim trying to pass the Impala on its left. One of the occupants of the Impala then fired at least seven gunshots at and into the victims vehicle, police said in a news release. The victim was fortunately not struck by any bullets and was able to exit Deerfoot Trail and call police. One suspect had already been arrested and charged. Jamal Baroudi, 24, is charged with assault with a weapon and discharging a firearm with intent to endanger life. His next court appearance is scheduled for Feb. 28. Singh has been charged with one count of discharging a firearm with intent to endanger life and one count of assault with a weapon. She is set to appear in court Feb. 27. ____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother . 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there still was work to do. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Gina re: Which browser is the best? Dear Webby There are so many browsers out there now. Which one is the best of all? Which one do you use? Gina Dear Gina Whichever one you are used to. Except Digital Herpes: EDGE. Avoid that at all costs! It re-infects itself with each Windows update! There are few real differences among the legitimate browsers. When one browser adds a new gimmick, all the others work overtime and quickly add that too. Most of them all have the same ability, they just require different methods and hot-keys. If you do a lot of text reading, for example e-books, then use the Safari browser for that. Not for everything, because it is a bit klutzy, but it has the best font rendering and is easiest on your eyes, for long text. For general all purpose goofing around, ahem Research, Chrome seems to be best, though Millions of people will disagree and say FireFox is better. In the long run, whichever browser you get comfortable with and learn all the hot-key shortcuts for, will be best FOR YOU. I know, some people treat browsers as if they were a religion, and they argue incessantly about the benefits of their chosen browser. I don't really care. Normally I use Chrome. There are some browsers, though, that you definitely should avoid: Internet Explorer: Even Microsoft tells you that it is way too buggy and not secure. Maxthon: Chinese clone of Internet Explorer. which lately has added some Chrome features. Microsoft EDGE: Comes standard included with W10 and W11. It sorta works, but nobody seems to like it. The kindest comment I have read about EDGE, it is that it lets you download Chrome, so that you can google for the week's best method for getting rid of EDGE. Keep in mind, any update you do will call that snake to slither in again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, February 15 in 1758, Mustard was advertised for the first time in America. 1764, The city of St. Louis was established. 1799, Printed ballots were authorized for use in elections in the state of Pennsylvania. 1842, Adhesive postage stamps were used for the first time by the City Dispatch Post (Office) in New York City. 1879, U.S. President Hayes signed a bill that allowed female attorneys to argue cases before the U.S. Supreme Court. 1898, The USS Maine sank when it exploded in Havana Harbor for unknown reasons. More than 260 crew members were killed. 1900, The British began to use natives in their war with the Boers. 1903, Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced the first teddy bear in America. 1932, George Burns and Gracie Allen debuted as regulars on "The Guy Lombardo Show" on CBS radio. 1933, U.S. President-elect Franklin Roosevelt escaped an assination attempt in Miami. Chicago Mayor Anton J. Cermak was killed in the attack. 1942, During World War II, Singapore surrendered to the Japanese. 1946, Edith Houghton, at age 33, was signed as a baseball scout by the Philadelphia Phillies becoming the first female scout in the major leagues. 1953, The first American to win the womens world figure skating championship was 17-year-old Tenley Albright. 1961, A Boeing 707 crashed in Belgium killing 73 people. 1962, CBS-TV bought the exclusive rights to college football games from the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) for a figure of $10,200,000. 1965, Canada displayed its new red and white maple leaf flag. The flag replaced the old Red Ensign standard. 1982, During a storm, the Ocean Ranger, a drilling rig, sank off the coast of Newfoundland. 84 men were killed. 1985, The Center for Disease Control reported that more than half of all nine-year-olds in the U.S. showed no sign of tooth decay. 1989, After nine years of intervention, the Soviet Union announced that the remainder of its troops had left Afghanistan. 1991, The leaders of Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland signed the Visegard agreement, in which they pledged to cooperate in transforming thier countties to free-market economies. 1995, The FBI arrested Kevin Mitnick and charged him with cracking security in some of the nation's most protected computers. He served five years in jail. 2002, U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive nuclear waste. The Democrats stopped that a few years later. 2017, The Indian space rocket PSLV-C37 successfully launched 104 satellites in a single flight. 2022 Do smiled. https://www.cloudwards.net/how-to-uninstall-microsoft- edge/
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