Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, May 14 _____________________________________________________ Today, May 14 in 1796 The first smallpox vaccination was given by Edward Jenner. 1853 Gail Borden applied for a patent for condensed milk. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Drove To Jail On Suspended License With Meth In Her Pants ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It is fun to be in the same decade with you. --- Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945) Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. --- Marie Curie (1867 - 1934) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too'. ______________________________________________________` Butchart Garden _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cordell Jenkins, Anthony Haynes, and Kenneth Butler Toledo, Ohio Woman Drove To Jail On Suspended License With Meth In Her Pants County Sheriff Matt Oller wrote in a wild Facebook post #DontDoThat as he detailed illegal things one woman did while bailing her boyfriend out of jail. On one of the security monitors, he noticed a woman getting arrested. It was Amanda Smith who drove to the jail on a revoked license. Oller wrote, She drove right to our building thinking we wouldn't notice the deputy recognized her and knew she was revoked .we noticed. Oller continued by saying that he saw Smith digging around in her bra and pants. He asked the chief deputy to review the footage. Smith was asked for her bag of meth that was on her person. she looked at the camera then cried and dug the meth out of her pants and gave it up. Another FELONY! Moral of the story: If you want to commit a couple of felonies, don't do it at the sheriff's office. From: Olger Re: What is a Terrabyte ? Dear Webby You mentioned TerraBytes before, and again today. How big is a TB? Olger Dear Olger It's Tera. with one R. Electricians and engineers know the decimal (metric) system. In the metric system everything goes by 1000. 1000 bytes are 1 Kilobyte (A byte is about the space used by one character in plain text in DOS) You also see the kilo in kilometers, kilograms, etc. 1000 Kilobytes are 1 Megabyte 1000 Megabutes are 1 Gigabyte 1000 Gigabytes are 1 Terabyte I remember getting a 10 Megabyte hard drive and thinking I would have enough spaqce for the rest of my life. Yeah, right. Half a year later I bought a 40 MB drive. Then Isaac Asimov mentioned that storage needs always exceed storage capacity within a year. Just like with your garage. That certainly held true until we got to the TeraByte drives. Now we finally have more storage capacity than need for more space. Or maybe I have gotten more prudent about weeding out obsolete stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. 'Who's winning?' I shouted. 'I am,' said one kid. 'Me,' said another. 'No, me,' yelled the third. Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, 'Their mother is.' If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. 'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer.' ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Soap Pest Spray Mix two tablespoons liquid Ivory soap and one gallon water. Use a spray bottle to apply to your plant's leaves. It will help eliminate aphids, cinch bugs, spider mites, and white flies. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | Victorians letting their hair down. | ___________________________________________________ Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq ' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don 't you know there's a war going on over there?' ___________________________________________________ Even though the toddler was having a furious tantrum, his mom was unfazed. 'You may as well give up on the crying,' I heard her say as she led him to the store exit. 'You're stuck with me for 18 years.' ___________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. 'Hey, Jermon,' I called out excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. 'Look! I found some chili.' Struggling to be polite, he said, 'If you're that surprised, I'm not really sure I want it.' ___________________________________________________ Today May 14 in 1264 King Henry III was captured by his brother in law Simon deMontfort at the Battle of Lewes in France. 1509 In the Battle of Agnadello, French defeated Venitians in Northern Italy. 1607 An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport went ashore at Jamestown, Virginia. The group had arrived at the location the day before. This became the first permanent English colony in America. 1610 French King Henri IV (Henri de Navarre) was assassinated by a fanatical monk, Franois Ravillac. 1643 Louis XIV became King of France at age 4 upon the death of his father, Louis XIII. 1796 The first smallpox vaccination was given by Edward Jenner. 1804 William Clark set off the famous expedition from Camp Dubois. A few days later, in St. Louis, Meriwether Lewis joined the group. The group was known as the "Corps of Discovery." 1811 Paraguay gained independence from Spain. 1853 Gail Borden applied for a patent for condensed milk. 1862 The chronograph was patented by Adolphe Nicole. 1878 The name Vaseline was registered by Robert A. Chesebrough. 1879 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Telephone Company of Europe. 1897 "The Stars and Stripes Forever" by John Phillip Sousa was performed for the first time. It was at a ceremony where a statue of George Washington was unveiled. 1897 Guglielmo Marconi made the first communication by wireless telegraph. 1913 The Rockefeller Foundation was created by John D. Rockefeller with a gift of $100,000,000. 1935 The Philippines ratified an independence agreement. 1940 The Netherlands surrendered to Nazi Germany. 1942 The Women's Auxiliary Army Corps (WAAC) was established by an act of the U.S. Congress. 1942 The British, while retreating from Burma, reached India. 1948 Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the independent State of Israel as British rule in Palestine came to an end. 1955 The Warsaw Pact, an Eastern European mutual-defense treaty, was signed in Poland by eight communist bloc countries including the Soviet Union. 1961 A bus carrying Freedom Riders was bombed and burned in Alabama. 1969 Jacqueline Susann's second novel, "The Love Machine," was published by Simon and Schuster. 1973 Skylab One was launched into orbit around Earth as the first U.S. manned space station. 1975 U.S. forces raided the Cambodian island of Koh Tang and recaptured the American merchant ship Mayaguez. All 40 crew members were released safely by Cambodia. About 40 U.S. servicemen were killed in the military operation. 1985 Ray Kroc's first McDonald's restaurant became the first fast-food business museum. It is located in Des Plaines, Illinois. 1988 In the Andean village of Cayara, Peru's military was involved in a massacre of at least 26 peasants. 1992 Former Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev addressed members of the U.S. Congress, appealing to them to pass a bill to aid the people of the former Soviet Union. 1996 A tornado hit 80 villages in nothern Bangladesh. More than 440 people were killed. 1998 The Associated Press marked its 150th anniversary. 1999 North Korea returned the remains of six U.S. soldiers that had been killed during the Korean War. 2019 Do smiled. |
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Go to TOP Well, Do , that's all for today.
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