Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, September 10 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 10 in 1955 Bert Parks began a 25-year career as host of the "Miss America Pageant" on NBC. In those days competitors did not have to be active members of the Democrat party. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Google censors mum who got her breasts out for Street View camera _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Behttpserbohm (1872 - 1956) _______________________________________________ A big, beefy, leather-wearing, biker type fellow walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and demands in a loud voice, "Give me a bottle of beer, or else...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his beer. This happens every day for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the biker returns. "Give me a bottle of beer, or else...!" "O-o-o-or else w-w-w-what?" stammers the bartender. "Or else I'll buy a draft...if you're out of bottles." ________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Karen and her size K breasts have landed her in trouble with some locals who envy her gorgeous curves. Boneheads are the censors at Google Karen Davis, 38, K, Port Pirie, South Australia, Australia Google censors mum who got her breasts out for Street View camera An Australian woman crossed a rather odd item off her bucket list when she was photographed topless by Google's camera car for the Google Street View feature. Karen Davis, 38, of Port Pirie, South Australia told the U.K.'s Daily Mail that she thought the act would be funny and that it was on her bucket list to appear topless on Google Street View. She said some people have suggested she might be charged for her public display but she contacted local police who told her not at this stage, they have no concerns . Davis said people who criticized her for going topless "are narrow-minded people who are not happy with their own bodies." DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Duane Re: What's a .ini file? Dear Webby, I use Incredimail and just in the last day or two, I can't get VIP support and that's the message I get. It says can't read application ini. I can't even get in touch with them to correct it. Duane Dear Duane A .ini file holds the settings for a program. Don't mess with it. Sounds like something trashed your Incredimail .ini file. Quite possibly that .ini file also contained a serial number that you need to get VIP support. Try calling them. If you can't contact them, try re-installing Incredimail. That will generate a new .ini file. Keep in mind, though, all your settings and preferences went south of the border with the trashed .ini file. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in a pot on her apartment balcony. Another tourist asked her how she kept from watering it too much, because the cactus would die if over watered. "I subscribe to the Tucson newspaper," replied the New Yorker. "Every time I read that it rained in the desert, I give my plant some water." ------------ Don't give it as much as Tucson gets! If the paper says Tucson got 2 inches, don't give it 2 inches. Give it 2 tablespoons. They really don't need much water, but they do need wind! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic. The woman glanced over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks, and said, "Here, have another cookie." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Dining Out For Less You don't need to pick the most expensive restaurant to have a romantic meal. Pick a restaurant that has significance to you and your partner; like the place you had your first date. Even fast food can be romantic with the right person. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A teacher was upset that one little boy was swearing in class. "Todd," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear those words?" "My daddy says that," Todd replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," the teacher explained. "I don't want to hear that language in here again." Turning away, the teacher muttered "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too!" the little boy replied. "It means the car won't start! ___________________________________________________ A Scotsman was dying. On his deathbed, he looked up and said: "Is my wife here?" His wife replies: "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The Scot goes: "Are my children here?" "Yes, daddy, we are all here." say the children. The Scot: "Are my other relatives also here?" And they say: "Yes, we are all here..." The Scot gets up and says: "If nobody is sneaking into my whiskey, then why the heck is the light on in the kitchen?" ___________________________________________________ Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 10 in 1608 John Smith was elected president of the Jamestown, VA colony council. 1794 America's first non-denominational college was chartered. Blount College later became the University of Tennessee. 1813 The first defeat of British naval squadron occurred in the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. The leader of the U.S. fleet sent the famous message "We have met the enemy, and they are ours" to U.S. General William Henry Harrison. 1845 King Willem II opened Amsterdam Stock exchange. 1846 Elias Howe received a patent for his sewing machine. 1862 Rabbi Jacob Frankel became the first Jewish Army chaplain. 1897 British police arrest George Smith for drunken driving. It was the first DWI. 1899 A second quake in seven days hit Yakutat Bay, AK. It measured 8.6. 1913 The Lincoln Highway opened. It was the first paved coast-to- coast highway in the U.S. 1919 New York City welcomed home 25,000 soldiers and General John J. Pershing who had served in the First Division during World War I. 1919 Austria and the Allies signed the Treaty of St.-Germain-en- Laye. Austria recognized the independence of Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. South Tirol was given to Italy. 1921 The Ayus Autobahn in Germany opened near Berlin. The road is known for its nonexistent speed limit. 1923 The Irish Free state joined the League of Nations. 1926 Germany joined the League of Nations. 1935 "Popeye" was heard on NBC radio for the first time. 1939 Canada declared war on Germany. 1940 In Britain, Buckingham Palace was hit by German bomb. 1942 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt mandated gasoline rationing as part of the U.S. wartime effort. 1943 German forces began their occupation of Rome during World War II. 1948 Mildred "Axis Sally" Gillars was indicted for treason in Washington, DC. Gillars was a Nazi radio propagandist during World War II. She was convicted and spent 12 years in prison. 1951 Britain began an economic boycott of Iran. 1953 Swanson began selling its first "TV dinner." 1955 "Gunsmoke" premiered on CBS. 1955 Bert Parks began a 25-year career as host of the "Miss America Pageant" on NBC. In those days competitors did not have to be active members of the Democrat party. 1956 Great Britain performed a nuclear test at Maralinga, Australia. 1963 Twenty black students entered public schools in Alabama at the end of a standoff between federal authorities and Alabama governor George C. Wallace. 1979 U.S. President Carter granted clemency to four Puerto Rican nationalists who had been imprisoned for an attack on the U.S. House of Representatives in 1954 and an attempted assassination of U.S. President Truman in 1950. 1981 Pablo Picasso's mural Guernica was received in the town of Guernica. 1989 Hungary gave permission to thousands of East German refugees and visitors to immigrate to West Germany. 1990 Iran agreed to resume full diplomatic ties with past enemy Iraq. 1990 Iraq's Saddam Hussein offered free oil to developing nations in an attempt to win their support during the Gulf War Crisis. 1992 In Minneapolis, MN, a federal jury struck down professional football's limited free agency system. 1998 U.S. President Clinton met with members of his Cabinet to apologize, ask forgiveness and promise to improve as a person in the wake of the scandal involving Monica Lewinsky. 1998 Northwest Airlines announced an agreement with pilots, ending a nearly two-week walkout. 1999 A bronze sculpture of a war horse just over 24 feet high was dedicated in Milan, Italy. 2002 Florida tested its new elections system. The test resulted in polling stations opening late and problems occurred with the touch screen voting machines. 2002 The "September 11: Bearing Witness to History" exhibit opened at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History. 2002 Switzerland became the 190th member of the United Nations. 2019 Do smiled. |
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