Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, November 5 Here is a domain name you can use! 4mylove.com You can buy that domain name for $50 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:   Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles, climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 5 in 1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament and King James I. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. --- Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, He grandfather is bald." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago: If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many pedestrians...so little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks: God's revenge for dieting. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  James Edward Baumann, 37 Stafford, Virginia  Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles, climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide  A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air conditioning unit. On Monday shortly before 10 a.m., deputies responded to reports of multiple vehicle accidents near the Bank of America at Stafford Marketplace. Deputies determined that the driver of a Ford pick-up truck hauling a trailer holding another pickup truck crashed into the vehicles, four of which were occupied when struck. Both of the pick-up trucks later found to be stolen. Four subjects were transported to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. After striking the vehicles, the subject, who was intoxicated, scaled a metal pipe alongside a building and climbed onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant where he was found hiding in an air conditioning unit. The suspect, James Edward Baumann, 37, was wanted in three jurisdictions Stafford County, Prince William County, and Spotsylvania County. Baumann was incarcerated at Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond on his outstanding warrants. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending.  From: Alex Re: SSH  Dear Webby. What exactly is SSH? A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access. However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and what does it do? Alex  Dear Alex SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like Telnet used to be until about 25 years ago. The main difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be intercepted. It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are very specific and detailed about what you need to do. Usually they even give you the exact command to type or paste to the command line. Then you type that in and hit Enter. No big deal at all. Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels. The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each command does, and step you through it while connected to you via Skype chat. Sure, it takes a bit more time, but you learn, and next time you know how to do it yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 >From Jean It's the men's turn to make wisecracks! After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it! Received an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing; that'll keep her busy! The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I bought her a pair of football boots! Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! Does anyone know how long you cook these "boil in the bag fish" that you win at the fun fair? My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake! Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup! My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface! 
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 Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties  If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates, cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups. You also will be able to use them year after year, which will save you money.  You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs. They don't take much more room to store till next year. DearWebby  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
The Weather Channel's New Green Screen Tech is Impressive 
 ___________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Sandie for this story: We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a Millenial from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me." By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."  
 Today November 5 in 1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament and King James I. 1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third term in office. 1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives at the age of 29. 1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally reopened ten years after WWII. 1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 1974 Ella T. Grasso was elected governor of Connecticut. She was the first woman in the U.S. to win a governorship without succeeding her husband. 1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL had exceeded antitrust limits in attempting to stop the Oakland Raiders from moving to Los Angeles. 1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of weapons to Iran. 1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life for treason against the white minority government of South Africa. 1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. 1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. 1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's disease. 1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House impeachment inquiry. 1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in airline services. 2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. He is still sitting in jail while lawyers fight against his ordered execution. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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