Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 19 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 19 in  1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Troopers Arrest Millsboro Man For 7th DUI  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men. --- George Eliot (1819 - 1880) A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. --- Bob Edwards _______________________________________________ German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig too. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber network. Scottish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. So they concluded that the ancient Scotts 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones under their kilts.. ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Levi D. Stilwell, 53, Millsboro, Delaware  Troopers Arrest Millsboro Man For 7th DUI  The Delaware State Police have arrested a Millsboro man after he was found to be under the influence for the 7th time. The preliminary investigation has determined the incident occurred on Friday, September 13, 2019, at approximately 9:00 p.m. when a trooper was flagged down driving by the McDonald's restaurant located at 24943 John J. Williams Highway in Millsboro. It was reported that a disorderly customer was yelling and screaming from his vehicle at this location. Upon contact with the driver appeared to be intoxicated and showed multiple signs of impairment. The driver was identified as Levi D. Stilwell, 53 of Millsboro. A DUI investigation was initiated and a computer inquiry revealed six previous DUI convictions. Levi D. Stilwell was transported to Troop 7 in Lewes and charged with his 7th Offense DUI (Felony) as well as Failing to Comply with Taking Photos and Fingerprints. He was arraigned before the Justice of the Peace Court and committed to the Sussex Correctional Institution on an $8,000.00 cash bond. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Lorne Re: What is a Botnet ?  Dear Webby, You mentioned "Botnet" again. This time, I am asking what the heck that is. Lorne  Dear Lorne A Botnet is not a real network. It is simply a whole lot of infected machines, that have their back door open. Every now and then the virus vendor, who opened their back door, sends them a list of tens or hundreds of thousands of addresses, that they got from hacking AOL or Yahoo or Verizon, and the text for a spam email. Then the infected machine waits until there is nothing heavy going on, and sends that spam. Those spams sometimes have a fictitious sender email, and sometimes forge the recipient's address as the sender. Some of those botnets use many thousands of infected machines, and can really pollute the net with a ton of spam. The people, who paid for those machines, aren't really their owners anymore, after they have been infected. And they don't even notice that their machine sends out Millions of spams. Do we get annoyed with people, who don't protect their machines? YES, we DO! Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. When he finally gets home, he starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he falls over backwards. An empty pint bottle in his back pocket broke, and carved up his buttocks. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror and noticed the injury. He repaired the damage as well as he could under the circumstances and went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. "Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?" "I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers." "A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered !" "What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?" he asked. "Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of Band-Aids stuck to the mirror." 
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 Thanks to Sandie for this story: Where it all began A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked; 'How did the human race start?' Sarah Palin answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; They had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama and asked the same question. Michelle Obama answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl went to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that Sarah Palin told me the Human race was created by God, And Michelle Obama said they evolved from monkeys.' The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple, Sarah told you about her ancestors and Michelle told you about hers.' ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Finding Cheap Plants Ask your neighbor if you can have a start or take a cutting of one of their plants. Start exchanging plants with family members. Check out your local farmer's market for plants and also advice. Plants you acquire locally will be better adapted to growing in your climate. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Spectacular Photos From The Revamped Hubble Telescope 
 ___________________________________________________ Was it J.Edgar Hoover who once said: "Legalize crime, then tax them out of business!" ? The government of England seems to have been inspired by that and is taxing itself out of the taxing business. They have raised the tax on cigarettes so high that officially admitted over 1/3 (-but actually over 60%-) of the cigarettes smoked in the UK are smuggled and tax free cigarettes. Officially smoking has increased 6.5% in the last year. Since they probably didn't check with all the smugglers, that figure is probably closer to 10%. Since smoking is the leading cause of statistics, the unemployment rate is expected to drop accordingly, as more people find jobs in compiling statistics. ___________________________________________________ During a phone conversation, my niece mentioned that she was taking a psychology course at university. "Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," she replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester." ___________________________________________________ The other day I was waiting for a friend getting ready to go to a meeting. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick and all kinds of stuff I don't even know the names of, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 19 in 1356 The Battle of Poitiers was fought between England and France. Edward "the Black Prince" captured France's King John. 1777 The Battle of Saratoga was won by American soldiers during the Revolutionary War. 1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was consented to giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 1942 The first advertisement to announce Little Golden Books appeared in Publishers Weekly. 1955 Argentina President Juan Peron was ousted after a revolt by the army and navy. 1957 The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test. The test took place in the Nevada desert. 1959 Nikita Khruschev was not allowed to visit Disneyland due to security reasons. Khrushchev reacted angrily. 1960 Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the United Nations, checked out of the Shelburne Hotel angrily after a dispute with the management. 1982 Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) in an online message. 1983 Lebanese army units defending Souk el-Gharb were supported in their effort by two U.S. Navy ships off Beirut. 1984 China and Britain completed a draft agreement transferring Hong Kong from British to Chinese rule by 1997. 1986 U.S. health officials announced that AZT, though an experimental drug, would be made available to AIDS patients. 1988 Israel successfully launched the Horizon-I test satellite. 1990 Iraq began confiscating foreign assets of countries that were imposing sanctions against the Iraqi government. 1992 The U.N. Security Council recommended suspending Yugoslavia due to its role in the Bosnian civil war. 1994 U.S. troops entered Haiti peacefully to enforce the return of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. 1995 The U.S. Senate passed a welfare overhaul bill. 1995 The commander of American forces in Japan and the U.S. ambassador apologized for the rape of a schoolgirl committed by three U.S. servicemen. 1996 The government of Guatemala and leftist rebels signed a peace treaty to end their long war. 2002 In Ivory Coast, around 750 rebel soldiers attempted to overthrow the government. U.S. troops landed on September 25th to help move foreigners, including Americans, to safer areas. 2003 It was reported that AOL Time Warner was going to drop "AOL" from its name and be known as Time Warner Inc. The company had announced its merger and name change on January 10, 2000. After they had harvested the client list and advertisers, and moved over the best of the techs, they booted AOL out again. 2019 Do smiled.