Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, April 27 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 27 in 1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Attorney used 'shoe camera' to look up girl's dress ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking. --- Louis Vermeil _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day during cooking class, our teacher, Mrs. Pritchard, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons." As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Pritchard about my theory. "Why wooden spoons?" I asked. "Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all you morons banging your metal spoons against metal pots, I'll go nuts!" ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacques Bloxham, 66, Walnut Creek, California Attorney used 'shoe camera' to look up girl's dress A 66-year-old licensed Bay Area lawyer was arrested Sunday after he allegedly taped a camera to his shoe and then moved his shoe so that the camera was under a female juvenile's dress at an Apple Store in Walnut Creek, Calif., police said. Jacques Bloxham, who is a personal injury attorney, was reportedly confronted by the girl's father and fled the store. Officers said they found various cameras and recording devices in the suspect's car in addition to the one attached to his shoe. Bloxham was arrested around 3 p.m. and booked into Contra Costa County Jail on suspicion of using a camera to secretly record the undergarments of another person, along with annoying or molesting a child under 18, the San Francisco Chronicle reported. He later posted bail. Police are investigating whether Bloxham recorded others and urge anyone with information to call the Walnut Creek Police Department. From: Thomas Re: Weather link Dear Webby Would it be possible to have the current weather come up for every subscriber, no matter what there location. I'm thinking that once the subscribers zip code was entered it would be no problem. Thomas Dear Thomas I have not found any weather site that will automatically work in all areas where subscribers live. Just go to your favorite weather site, set your preferences, refresh, then the drag the little icon from the left of the address bar onto an empty spot on your desktop. When you hit that icon, it will bring up your weather with all your preferences, just like you had them. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor. "Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
>From Kim Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license. "Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired. "No," I replied. "Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Auto Cool Review Auto Cool is a solar powered fan that has been heavily marketed on TV throughout the summer. They advertise that it keep your car cool when it is parked in the hot sun. The problem is, it doesn't work. Many reviewers of this product actually state it makes your car hotter. Don't throw your money away. thriftyfun.Com For passive shielding get some cheap space blankets from a camping store or off the web for about $2.50 a piece. Here is a link to one of countless sources: http://snipurl.com/36x82 Google for a local source to avoid shipping charges. It is a reflective blanket about 5' x 7' and weighs 2 ounces. It eflects ALL of the sun. I have used them since the 60's and they are indeed amazing. Don't poke holes into them and don't put grommets into them. Stick some duck tape onto the corners so that it sticks out, and put gromets into those duck tape ears. Then you can secure it with thin, lightweight bungee cords. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | Most amazing Guinness records in the world. |
___________________________________________________ For the umpteenth time Mrs. Youngston came to her parish priest to tell him, "Father, I'm so scared! Joe says he's going to kill me if I continue to come to your church." "Yes, yes, my child," replied Father Francis McCrady, more than a little tired of hearing this over and over. "I will continue to pray for you, Mrs. Youngston. Have faith - the Lord will watch over you." "Oh yes, Father, he has kept me safe thus far, only....." "Only what, my child?" "Well, Father, now he says if I keep coming to your church, he's going to kill YOU!" "Well, now," said the priest, "Perhaps it's time to check out Father Lawrence Greider's parish over on the other side of town." ___________________________________________________ One day, two guys decide to take a drive to a local grocery store to get some lunch. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" The driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother always drives like this." So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "All right! I get it but I told you My mother drives like this all the time!" Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The Driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car totally. "What the hell are you doing?" The passenger screamed. "This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?" "Well, my mother might be coming the other way!" The driver said. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thaks to Lilly for this one: Being a newspaper photographer, my husband would often get home late with the excuse "I had to shoot a car wreck," or "I had to shoot a football game." Once, some unexpected company dropped by and asked how late my husband would be. "I don't know," I replied, not intending to shock them. "He has to shoot the governor." ___________________________________________________ | Today April 27 in 1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at the Battle of Dunbar. 1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice. 1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by natives in the Philippines. 1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was established in Cebu City. 1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured the city of Derna, on the shores of Tripoli. 1813 Americans under Gen. Pike capture York (present day Toronto) the seat of government in Ontario. 1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia seceded from the Union during the American Civil War. 1863 The Army of the Potomac began marching on Chancellorsville. 1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying 2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed. 1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the electrical hearing aid. 1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown. 1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania. She was the first American woman to become a queen. 1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria. 1946 The SS African Star was placed in service. It was the first commercial ship to be equipped with radar. 1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which formally segregated races. 1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet. 1953 Five people were killed and 60 injured when Mt. Aso erupted on the island of Kyushu. 1960 The submarine Tullibee was launched from Groton, CT. It was the first sub to be equipped with closed-circuit television. 1961 The United Kingdom granted Sierra Leone independence. 1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan. 1967 In Montreal, Prime Minister Lester Pearson lighted a flame to open Expo 67. 1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan. 1982 The trial of John W. Hinckley Jr. began in Washington. Hinckley was later acquitted by reason of insanity for the shooting of U.S. President Reagan and three others. 1982 China proposed a new constitution that would radically alter the structure of the national government. 1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11 days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others. 1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in Beijing. 1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. They claimed that he had aided in the deportation and execution of thousands of Jews and others as a German Army officer during World War II. 1992 The Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was proclaimed in Belgrade by the Republic of Serbia and its ally Montenegro. 1992 Russia and 12 other former Soviet republics won entry into the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank. 2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840. 2005 Russian President Vladimir Putin became the first Kremlin leader to visit Israel. 2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the 1,776-foot One World Trade Center on the site of former World Trade Center. 2019 Do smiled. |
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