Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 12 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Oregon man arrested for girlfriend's killing in Bullhead City, Arizona ____________________________________________________ Today, January 12, in 1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard Frankfurters/hot dogs/Wieners would be replaced by 'Victory Sausages'. ____________________________________________________ What luck for rulers that men do not think. --- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945) Who is more busy than he who hath least to do? --- John Clarke, Paroemiologia Anglo-Latina, 1639 ____________________________________________________ Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and screamed: "Who told you about us?" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Bob's mother is a cleaning fanatic. One Saturday she told him and his brother to go down to the playroom and straighten it up. They had had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess. As she watched them work, it was clear that she was completely dissatisfied with their cleaning efforts and she let them know it. Finally Bob's brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked his mom, "Can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Clark, 37, Medford, Oregon, USA Oregon man arrested for girlfriend's killing in Bullhead City, Arizona Police have arrested a man accused of shooting and killing his girlfriend before dumping her body on the side of the road in Bullhead City. Police said in a news release that a motorist spotted the body near a residential development on the morning of Jan. 2. The body had multiple gunshot wounds and the death was being investigated as a homicide. Through fingerprint analysis, the woman was identified as 27-year-old Megan Rae Jean Hannah of Medford, Oregon. Police had previously released a photo of a tattoo on Hannah's shoulder in hopes of identifying her. According to investigators, Hannah was last seen alive with her boyfriend, identified as 37-year-old Ryan Lynn Clark, also a resident of Medford, Oregon who "has an extensive violent criminal history." "Detectives quickly learned that Clark had checked in at a hotel room in nearby Laughlin, NV after the murder and had traveled to the Bullhead City area from Oregon in a rental car," police said in a news release. "The rental car was seen on surveillance video leaving the crime scene area, off Arroyo Vista Drive, in the early morning hours on Sunday." A felony arrest warrant was issued for Clark, who was taken into custody Thursday after leaving his hotel room in Laughlin. Police said multiple items belonging to Hannah were found in Clark's rental car. Detectives also found more of Hannah's belongings inside Clark's hotel room, including the weapon believed to have been used in her murder, and bullets consistent with ammunition found at the crime scene. Clark will be booked into a Las Vegas jail, police said. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Frank Re: Weather Dear Webby Do you have a link to a reliable weather forecast? Thanks Frank Dear Frank I use https://www.theweathernetwork.com/ca/weather/alberta/black-diamond Just use part of that, https://www.theweathernetwork.com/ and set up your location. You can set up a whole bunch of locations and then simply select the one you want. It remembers your previous locations. You can check the forecast by the hours, 36 hours, Weekend, 7 days, 14 days or monthly. Up to 7 days it seems to be very accurate. Beyond that it is more like astrology. Close, but don't use it to plan your wedding. Have FUN! DearWebby A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready -- all dressed up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shoots back into the house. Not wanting their often-rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop to get her to come out!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Mary was married to Charlie, a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. "That," he declared, "is woman's work!" One evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charlie had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. Mary said, "Charlie even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charlie was too tired." ______________________________________________ Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks, was shock proof to 60 G, could be driven over and even dropped from a plane. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard." --------- Actually, coffee is not that hard on a good keyboard. Btw., if you have been looking for a fast but narrow keyboard to get more room on your desk, check out Qtronix's line of industrial keyboards. The QX083 is only 33 cm (about a foot) wide and made for control consoles with more than one keyboard side by side. Compared to the soft-touch laptop keyboards they are VERY noisy, however, you can type as fast as you want without fear of it skipping or misplacing the spaces between words the way the soft and quiet keyboards do when you go over about 50 words per minute. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Another excuse for a student being late for school: Arnie came into the office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school." ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 12, in 1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. 1773 The first public museum in America was established in Charleston, SC. 1866 The Royal Aeronautical Society was founded in London. 1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British invaded Zululand. 1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct in London began operation. 1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs to be made in America. 1904 Henry Ford set a new land speed record when he reached 91.37 miles per hour. 1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote. 1915 The U.S. Congress established the Rocky Mountain National Park. 1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland causing Finland to ask Germany for help. 1942 U.S. President Roosevelt created the National War Labor Board. 1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced by 'Victory Sausages.' 1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive against the Germans in Eastern Europe. 1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not discriminate against law-school applicants because of race. 1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt against the government and a republic was proclaimed. 1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam until Communist aggression there was ended. 1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the Nigerian civil war came to an end. 1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 1973 Yassar Arafat was re-elected as head of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. 1986 Space shuttle Columbia blasted off with a crew that included the first Hispanic-American in space, Dr. Franklin R. Chang-Diaz. 1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out of Kuwait. 1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced that as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry out daylight street patrols in Belfast. 1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6 million. 1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's office with taped conversations between herself and former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 1999 Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball was sold at auction in New York for $3 million to an anonymous bidder. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police broad authority to stop and question people who run at the sight of an officer. 2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million- mile journey. 2006 The U.S. Mint began shipping new 5-cent coins to the 12 regional Federal Reserve Banks. The coin has an image of Thomas Jefferson taken from a 1800 Rembrandt Peale portrait in which the president is looking forward. Since 1909, when presidents were first depicted on circulating coins, all presidents had been shown in profile. 2021 Do smiled. |
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