Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, February 24 Thank you, Trevor!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 23, in 1839, Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam shovel. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Florida woman allegedly stabbed physically disabled husband 140 times, fractured his skull with meat cleaver ___________________________________________________ I am not young enough to know everything. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 - 406 BC) ___________________________________________________ A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ___________________________________________________ My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" ____________________________________________________ Gary @ Thingsmusical.ca Yukon road block ____________________________________________________ The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, schure," said the drunk. "Schometimes my wife schtarts 'em even later than that." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joan Burke, 61, Palm Springs, Florida, USA Florida woman allegedly stabbed physically disabled husband 140 times, fractured his skull with meat cleaver A Florida woman stands accused of killing her husband and stabbing his body 140 times, officials said. The Palm Springs Police Department said the body of Melvin Weller, 62, was found by the woman's son, Ricardo Anthony Green, 41, who reported it to police, CBS 46 reported. The woman, Joan Burke, 61, was subsequently arrested and charged with his death, officials said. Blood was on the walls, cabinets, and kitchen counters of the home, police said, ABC 27 reported. Burke, who was initially arrested on Feb. 11, was found lying on a bed when police arrived at the home and later received a mental evaluation, officials said. On Sunday, she appeared before a judge in a tele-hearing, officials said, although a motive for the alleged crime was not shared. Weller was physically disabled, his family said. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Trevor Re: Waze Road map Dear Webby Have you checked out https://www.waze.com? I use this instead of Google maps. Trevor Dear Trevor I had a look at Waze.com now, and will try it next time I need a map. ----------------- >From Marlene hi Webby. We use an app called Waze. Not only is it free and constantly updated by users, but users can report road hazards and police so that others are aware of it. Here is a quote from Waze: Waze can be used everywhere in the world where there are roads. However, the quality of our maps differs depending on the size of the user community at the location. You can check our map coverage at your destination prior to flying using our web-based Live Map. Marlene Have FUN! DearWebby New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you lazy bum! Get out of bed!" ______________________________________________ Do was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," Do said. Do turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing." ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 24, in 1803, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled itself to be the final interpreter of all constitutional issues. 1835, "Siwinowe Kesibwi" (The Shawnee Sun) was issued as the first Indian language monthly publication in the U.S. 1839, Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam shovel. 1857, The first shipment of perforated postage stamps was received by the U.S. Government. 1863, Arizona was organized as a territory. 1866, In Washington, DC, an American flag made entirely of American bunting was displayed for the first time. 1868, The U.S. House of Representatives impeached President Andrew Johnson due to his attempt to dismiss Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton. The U.S. Senate later acquitted Johnson. 1886, Thomas Edison and Mina Miller were married. 1900, New York City Mayor Van Wyck signed the contract to begin work on New York's first rapid transit tunnel. The tunnel would link Manhattan and Brooklyn. The ground breaking ceremony was on March 24, 1900. 1903, In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the U.S. for a naval base. 1925, A thermit was used for the first time. It was used to break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged the St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY. 1938, The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially. 1942, The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12-gauge shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort. 1942, The Voice of America (VOA) aired for the first time. 1945, During World War II, the Philippine capital of Manilla, was liberated by U.S. soldiers. 1946, Juan Peron was elected president of Argentina. 1956, The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without an adult guardian. 1980, NBC premiered the TV movie "Harper Valley P.T.A." 1981, Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Britain's Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer. 1983, A U.S.congressional commission released a report that condemned the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II. 1987, An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large Magellanic Cloud galaxy. 1988, The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler" magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for parody and satire. 1989, Irans Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses". A bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put on Rushidie's head. 1989, A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing 9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand. 1997, The US Food and Drug Administration named six brands of birth control as safe and effective "morning-after" pills for preventing pregnancy. 1999, In southeast China, a domestic airliner crashed killing all 64 passengers. 2007, The Virginia General Assembly passed a resolution expressing "profound regret" for the state's role in slavery. 2008, Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president. His brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years. 2022 Do smiled. |
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