Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 7 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Happy Valentines Day, Do! --------From Linda What did Gallileo Gallilei get jailed for? He was an astronomer and inventor, as far as I remember school. Linda-------- Hi Linda Gallileo Gallilei wrote about the sun being the center of the solar system, not the earth and Rome, and with the earth rotating around the sun, much like the moon is rotating around the earth. Rome, the Catholice church, did not like that idea. ___________________________________________________ Today, February 14 in 1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone were killed. ______________________________________________________ We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man accused of plotting Fresno mass shooting enters plea in court. Bail set at $23.7 M __________________________________________ Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an un-sportsman-like manner at a recent football game. "I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents." "Ahhh, that's a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin'," the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across the sleeve of his coat. "That's not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my opponents." "Saints preserve us!" the priest said, making another chalk mark. "There's more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the other team's players in the in a sensitive area." "Oh, goodness me!" the priest wailed, making two more chalk marks on his sleeve. "Who in the world were we playin' when you did these awful things?" "Southern Methodist." "Ah, well," said the priest, wiping his sleeve, "boys will be boys." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Happy Valentines Day, Do! __________________________________________ Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog. When asked why by her former employer, she answered: "I never forget a friend. This was for doing clean the dishes all the time!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man accused of plotting Fresno mass shooting enters plea in court. Bail set at $23.7 M Ger Lee, 27, Fresno, California Ger Lee, the Fresno man accused of plotting a revenge shooting that killed four people, pleaded not guilty in Fresno County Superior Court on Tuesday. Lee, 27, is charged with four counts of murder and 12 counts of attempted murder. Lee, along with six other members of the Mongolian Boys Society street gang, are allegedly responsible for the Nov. 17 mass shooting that killed Kou Xiong, 38; Xy Lee, 23; Kalaxang Thao, 40; and Phia Vang, 31; and injured six others. The victims had gathered in the backyard of a home in the 5300 block of East Lamona Avenue to watch a football game. The alleged gang members told investigators they were avenging the death of one of their members brother, who was killed earlier that day, according to a criminal complaint filed in Superior Court. However, police said the victims were not gang members. Lee was recently extradited from Minnesota where he fled to after the killings. Four of the seven alleged gang members are facing charges in state court while the other three are facing federal charges. Anthony Montes, 27; Porge Kue, 26; and Billy Xiong, 25 also appeared in Superior Court on Tuesday. They previously pleaded not guilty. All four suspects are now scheduled to appear for a pre- preliminary hearing on May 7 in Department 31. Three others, Johnny Xiong, 25, along with Pao Vang, 30, and Jhovanny Delgado, 19, are charged in federal court with conspiracy to commit murder in the aid of racketeering.. Lees bail remains at $23.7 million. He is being represented by defense attorney Michael Aed. Lee is eligible for the death penalty and will likely keep Government paid legal aid lawyers profitably busy for 15 or more years. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: MalwareBytes alerts Dear Webby My Malwarebytes Has been popping up lately and saying website blocked due to Phishing? what does that mean and is there any harm in it?tyvm for all your gr8 work its gr8tly appreciated Richie Dear Richie That sounds like you subscribed to update notifications from some site, that is not clean enough for MalwareBytes. That could be anything from prayer alerts to porno. Just go there once, and unsubscribe from the alerts. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Flying is simple business, if you get the rules correct. RULES OF THE AIR 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal. 24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ "Top 10 Reasons Eve was Created" 10. Lord worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. Lord knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote. 8. Lord knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him. 7. Lord knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist or haircut appointment for himself. 6. Lord knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb. 5. Lord knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when Lord caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone! And finally, the number ONE reason that Lord created Eve... 1. When Lord finished the creation of Adam, she stepped back, scratched her head and said, "Hmmm... I can do better than that." _____________________________________________ Subject: Virus forms This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware of... THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just keep counting and counting) THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory) THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did) THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored) THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes) THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb) THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files) THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted) THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care) THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files) THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves, will be back) ..and last but certainly not least.... THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 floppy, then discards it through Windows) ____________________________________________ "Cubicle Wisdom" 1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. 2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. 4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings--they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 6. If at first you don't succeed--try management. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. 11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. 11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore. ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 14 in 1778 The Stars and Stripes was carried to a foreign port, in France, for the first time. It was aboard the American ship Ranger. 1803 Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer. 1849 The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City. President James Polk was the subject of the picture. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7, 1876. 1889 In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip to the east. 1895 Oscar Wilde's final play, "The Importance of Being Earnest," opened at the St. James' Theatre in London. 1899 The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in federal elections. 1900 Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland in response to an international petition for Finland's freedom. 1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange Free State with 20,000 troops. 1912 The first diesel engine submarine was commissioned in Groton, CT. 1920 The League of Women Voters was founded in Chicago. The first president of the organization was Maude Wood Park. 1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone were killed. 1932 The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY. 1940 The first porpoise born in captivity arrived at Marineland in Florida. 1945 Peru, Paraguay, Chile and Ecuador joined the United Nations. 1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) was unveiled. The device, built at the University of Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose electronic computer. 1961 Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely, CA. 1979 Twenty-year-old rookie, Don Maloney, of the New York Rangers, scored his first goal in the National Hockey League. It came on his first NHL shot. 1979 Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in a shootout between his abductors and police. 1983 A 6-year-old boy became the first person to receive a heart and liver transplants in the same operation. 1985 Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was freed. He had been being held in Lebanon by extremists. 1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses." 1989 The first satellite of the Global Positioning System was placed into orbit around Earth. 1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. 1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began a series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul the Hubble Space Telescope. 1998 U.S. authorities officially announced that Eric Rudolph was a suspect in a bombing of an abortion clinic in Alabama. 2002 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Shays- Meehan bill. The bill, if passed by the U.S. Senate, would ban millions of unregulated money that goes to the national political parties. 2002 Sylvester Stallone filed a lawsuit against Kenneth Starr. The suit alleged that Starr had given bad advice about selling Planet Hollywood stock. 2003 In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from an art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400. 2005 The video-sharing website YouTube was activated. 2020 Do smiled. |
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