Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 25 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Stolen ambulance crashes in Visalia ___________________________________________________ Today, June 25 in 1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union, and then asked Germany to help them. They chnaged sides and kicked the Germans out in late spring 1945, when it had become obvious, that the allies would win. ____________________________________________________ A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ____________________________________________________ Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied. "What's it for?" asked the first boy. "I don't know," the second boy answered. "But if grown-ups stand on it, don't go near them for ten minutes. That thing makes them mad." ____________________________________________________ Jeanne Schmidt ____________________________________________________ The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" The teacher said. "I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and then some poor, innocent kid has to memorize all about it." ------------- That was me. And a second after the exam, I dumped it all. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mariah Chaffin, 38, Visalia, California, USA Stolen ambulance crashes in Visalia The Visalia Police Department responded to a call around 3:38 p.m. on Monday near the 700 block of E. Noble to assist medical professionals. According to police, Mariah Chaffin, 38, drove off in an ambulance that was left running. Police say they were able to catch up with Chaffin, who was driving the stolen ambulance with both emergency lights and sirens on. They caught up with her in downtown Visalia near Acequia and Locust, where she later crashed into another ambulance that was carrying a patient. She also crashed into a police car. Chaffin was taken into custody and later to the hospital. A Visalia Police Officer was also taken to the hospital for injuries received during the collision with the stolen ambulance. Police say Chaffin will be booked for assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest, and possession of a stolen vehicle once released from the hospital. Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits from: Bill (The other one) RE: W-11 Dear Webby What's this about W-11 coming out from Microsoft? Did we stop bitching about the klutzy W-10 ? Bill (The other one) Dear Bill (The other one) Keep in mind that Microsoft owns significant portions of DELL and all the Chinese computer manufacturers. W-11 will initially be cuckood into new machines only, and eventually, once there is a wide enough user base to provide good enough support, by download on demand. W-11 includes a host of cosmetic upgrades, such as a new Start button, a revamped task bar and sounds, woohoo! Apparently some guy in California had complained about the racist look of the START button. W-11 will make it easier for 3rd party programmers to write apps, which will make great profits for Malware fighters. Some of the annoyances in W-10 will apparently be fixed, and just to keep you bitching, everything will be either shuffled around or hidden. It is not known yet, if W-11 requires new hardware, since apparently you can downgrade W-10 to W-11 with a download. Whether that slows W10 down some more is not known yet. Have FUN! DearWebby "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Alan told his friend Don. "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Don suggested. "But what if my wife finds out?" "Heck, these are the '2K's, Alan. Go ahead and tell her about it!" So Alan went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that six times already it never worked." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ - If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities. - Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners. - In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. - A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population. ___________________________________________ One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?". The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach ? Broccoli ?" ____________________________________________ The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter- viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, June 25, in 0841 Charles the Bald and Louis the German defeated Lothar at Fontenay. 1080 At Brixen, a council of bishops declared Pope Gregory to be deposed and Archbishop Guibert as antipope Clement III. 1580 The Book of Concord was first published. The book is a collection of doctrinal standards of the Lutheran Church. 1658 Aurangzeb proclaimed himself emperor of the Moghuls in India. 1767 Mexican Indians rioted as Jesuit priests were ordered home. 1864 Union troops surrounding Petersburg, VA, began building a mine tunnel underneath the Confederate lines. 1867 Lucien B. Smith patented the first barbed wire. 1868 The U.S. Congress enacted legislation granting an eight- hour day to workers employed by the Federal government. 1870 In Spain, Queen Isabella abdicated in favor of Alfonso XII. 1876 Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." 1876 In Philadelphia, PA, Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Sir William Thomson (Baron Kelvin) and Emperor Pedro II of Brazil at the Centennial Exhibition. 1917 The first American fighting troops landed in France. 1920 The Greeks took 8,000 Turkish prisoners in Smyrna. 1938 Gaelic scholar Douglas Hyde was inaugurated as the first president of the Irish Republic. 1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union, and then asked Germany to help them. They chnaged sides and kicked the Germans out in late spring 1945, when it had become obvious, that the allies would win. 1946 Ho Chi Minh traveled to France for talks on Vietnamese independence. 1948 The Soviet Union tightened its blockade of Berlin by intercepting river barges heading for the city. 1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. 1951 In New York, the first regular commercial color TV transmissions were presented on CBS using the FCC-approved CBS Color System. The public did not own color TV's at the time. 1959 The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres under a new agrarian reform law. 1959 Eamon De Valera became president of Ireland at the age of 76. 1962 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of unofficial non-denominational prayer in public schools was unconstitutional. 1970 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission handed down a ruling (35 FR 7732), making it illegal for radio stations to put telephone calls on the air without the permission of the person being called. 1973 Erskine Childers Jr. became president of Ireland after the retirement of Eamon De Valera. 1973 White House Counsel John Dean admitted that U.S. President Nixon took part in the Watergate cover-up. 1975 Mozambique became independent. Samora Machel was sworn in as president after 477 years of Portuguese rule. 1981 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that male-only draft registration was constitutional. 1986 The U.S. Congress approved $100 million in aid to the Contras fighting in Nicaragua. 1987 Austrian President Kurt Waldheim visited Pope John Paul II at the Vatican. The meeting was controversial due to allegations that Waldheim had hidden his Nazi past. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of an individual, whose wishes are clearly made, to refuse life-sustaining medical treatment. "The right to die" decision was made in the Curzan vs. Missouri case. 1991 The last Soviet troops left Czechoslovakia 23 years after the Warsaw Pact invasion. 1991 The Yugoslav republics of Slovenia and Croatia declared their independence from Yugoslavia. 1993 Kim Campbell took office as Canada's first woman prime minister. She assumed power upon the resignation of Brian Mulroney. 1997 The Russian space station Mir was hit by an unmanned cargo vessel. Much of the power supply was knocked out and the station's Spektr module was severely damaged. 1997 U.S. air pollution standards were significantly tightened by U.S. President Clinton. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the line-item veto thereby striking down presidential power to cancel specific items in tax and spending legislation. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those infected with HIV are protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act. 1998 Microsoft's "Windows 98" was released to the public. 1999 Germany's parliament approved a national Holocaust memorial to be built in Berlin. 2000 U.S. and British researchers announced that they had completed a rough draft of a map of the genetic makeup of human beings. The project was 10 years old at the time of the announcement. 2000 A Florida judge approved a class-action lawsuit to be filed against America Online (AOL) on behalf of hourly subscribers who were forced to view "pop-up" advertisements. 2021 Do smiled. |
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