| Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 10 ____________________________________________________ History: today, July 10 in 1997, Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Rapist, Arrested In Boca Raton, Was Living In Church With Preschool ___________________________________________________ Q The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. --- David Friedman The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. --- Socratex Computer Bumper Snickers Don't make me use uppercase. Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. --- John Wayne (1907 - 1979) It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. --- Andre Gide __________________________________________________ The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! Finally a kid volunteered: "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!" ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Lighthouse at the end of the world, Southern Argentina ___________________________________________________ A couple had a fatal car accident on their way to get married. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. Saint Peter showed up and they asked him. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer ... for two months ... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?" Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "GET REAL !" St Peter shouted, "it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it would take me to find TWO lawyers and a judge?" ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Christopher Whitehill, In Jail in Boca Raton now Florida USA Rapist Arrested In Boca Raton, Was Living In Church With Preschool A convicted rapist whose last known address was a church with a preschool in Boca Raton is in the Palm Beach County Jail Saturday night, charged with failing to register with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. The Boca Raton Police Department arrested Christopher Whitehill on Thursday. He was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail around noon and remains incarcerated as of 5 p.m. Saturday. He is charged with failing to register as required, and failing to report a change of address. It was not immediately clear to where Whitehill relocated, or where he was at the time of his arrest. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement lists Whitehills official address as 625 NE Mizner Boulevard which is the address of the First United Methodist Church of Boca Raton and the Mice Preschool and Kindergarten. Its unclear how or why FDLE approved Whitehill to use a location with a preschool as an official residential address. According to FDLE records, Whitehill was convicted of Aggravated Assault With Intent To Rape back in May of 1999. He was prosecuted in Cobb County, Georgia. Records did not show how long Whitehill spent behind bars. Christopher Whitehill is 511, weighs 155 pounds, is bald, and has no vehicles registered with the state of Florida. He is officially listed as a sexual offender, according to FDLE. ___________________________________________________ According to a new study from Italy, some women are actually able to hear with their breasts. That of course is great for Italian men, because they talk with their hands anyway. __________________________________________________ A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religion could be summed up in a single phrase. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," he said, with a bit of smugness, knowing that his field is so much more complex. After a brief pause, the theologian replied that after reading widely in the area of astronomy he had concluded that all of it could be summed up in a single phrase also. "Oh, and what is that?" the astronaut inquired. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder what you are!" ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and cheerfully drove to work on the scenic route. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's nice" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?" ___________________________________________________ From:Fiona Re: USB drives Dear Webby How do those USB drives work? Does it increase the cable salad? Fiona Dear Fiona USB hard drives plug into any USB port on any PC. Whenever you plug in the USB drive, it simply shows up as another harddrive. On older machines, that external USB drive will be the fastest drive. Yes, it will increase the cable salad. You can put the drive close to the computer and fold up the cable and tame it with some tape or rubber band. You can even buy short and colorful Velcro strips made for just THAT purpose. Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,"Thou shall not kill." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!" "Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That's the one!" That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?" "Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye guide dog bit me." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 10, in 1609, The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria. 1679, The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony. 1776, The statue of King George III was pulled down in New York City. 1778, In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared war on England. 1821, U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold by Spain. 1832, U.S. President Andrew Jackson vetoed legislation to re- charter the Second Bank of the United States. 1866, Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil. 1900, His Masters Voice, was registered with the U.S. Patent Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, and later, RCA Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking into the horn of a gramophone machine. 1910, W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an altitude of one mile. 1913, The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. 1919, The Treaty of Versailles was hand delivered to the U.S. Senate by President Wilson. 1925, The official news agency of the Soviet Union, TASS, was established. 1928, George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures. 1929, The U.S. government began issuing paper money in the small size. 1938, Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world. 1940, The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II. 1947, Saab introduced the Model 92 prototype as its first automobile. 1949, The first practical rectangular television was presented. The picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12. 1951, Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began at Kaesong. 1951, Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown. 1953, American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea after heavy fighting. 1962, The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between Europe and the U.S. 1962, Fred Baldasare swam the English Channel underwater. It was a 42 miles and took 18 hours. 1973, Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after three centuries of British colonial rule. 1985, Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced that they would continue to sell "New" Coke. 1990, Mikhail Gorbachev won re-election as the leader of the Soviet Communist Party. 1991, Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office as the first elected president of the Russian republic. 1991, U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward racial equality. 1997, Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 1998, The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand. 1998, The U.S. military delivered the remains of Air Force 1st Lt. Michael Blassie to his family in St. Louis. He had been placed in Arlington Cemetery's Tomb of the Unknown in 1984. His identity had been confirmed with DNA tests. 1999, The heads of six African nations that had troops in the Democratic Republic of the Congo signed a cease-fire agreement that would end the civil war in that nation. 2002, Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's. 2015, In South Carolina, the Confederate flag was removed for the last time from the Capitol grounds and taken to a state military museum. 2023, Do smiled.
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