Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, January 21 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Serial killer caught in Arizona Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 21 in 1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first time. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. --- Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938) All Truth passes through Three Stages: First, it is ridiculed... Second, it is Violently Opposed... Third, it is Accepted as being Self-Evident." --- Arthur Schopenhauer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Wendy: I can't understand why men are so afraid of commitment! Anni: Tell me about it! I lived with one guy for a year and a half, and I finally had to give him an ultimatum. Wendy: What did you say? Anni: I just told him, "Look, either you tell me your last name, or I am moving out of your house!" ____________________________________________________ From Myrna Dear Webby, a few years ago you had that classic bricklayer's compensation board letter. Do you still have it? Can you print it again, please? Thanks Myrna Sure, Myrna, here it is. It must be an all time favorite, because I remember requests for it, when the Humor Letter was still in fax format, before the Internet. Dear Sir: "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley,which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Saudi Arabia Sony2017 winner _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, " BS! Just wait until the autopsy, then you'll see that I was right." _____________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cleophus Cooksey, 35, Phoenix, Arizona Serial killer caught in Arizona A man is under arrest in Phoenix, with authorities saying he is responsible for killing nine people in less than a month. The accused serial killer, Cleophus Cooksey, killed his parents on December 17, and after police investigated, they were able to link him to an additional seven murders in the Phoenix area. Most of the murders were in separate incidents in a three week span, and the victims have no apparent link. Cooksey appears to have engaged in a murderous crime spree with no rhyme or reason. Fox News reports. An Arizona man is accused of a stunning murder spree in which he killed nine people in three weeks a rampage that would make him one of the most prolific serial killers in the state's history. Cleophus Cooksey Jr., 35, was arrested on Dec. 17, 2017, after police responded to a call of shots fired in Phoenix. When officers arrived they found Cooksey's mother and stepfather dead. Police said Thursday they did not link Cooksey to the other homicides until he was in custody. Police said investigators used shelling casings to link the murders. Phoenix Mayor Greg Stanton said new technology allowed officers to determine the evidence was linked to the suspect quickly. Cooksey's other alleged victims include the brother of his ex- girlfriend and various men and women of black, white and Hispanic race and ethnicity, AZ Central reported. The victims include: Two men, Andrew Remillard, 27, and Parker Smith, 21, who were discovered dead Nov. 27. One man, Salim Richards, 35, found critically wounded on Dec. 2, and later died at the scene. It was not immediately clear if Richards knew the suspect. Police said there were signs of robbery at the crime scene and a hangun was appeared to have been taken. On Dec. 11, Jesus Bonifacio Real, 25, the brother of Cooksey's former girlfriend, was murdered. On Dec. 13, Latorrie Beckford, 29, was shot and killed. On Dec. 16, 2017, Kristopher Cameron, 21, was discovered shot to death in a field. Police said Cameron appeared to have met with the suspect for a drug interaction. On the same day, Maria Villanueva, 43, was found dead. Villanueva was kidnapped from her car after the suspect approached her vehicle. The two drove off before Villanueva was found with signs of sexually assault and murdered, police said. On Dec. 17, Rene Cooksey, 56, the suspect's mother, and his stepfather, Edward Nunn, 54, were shot and killed. Cooksey was then arrested. Cooksey has a long criminal history, AZ Central reported. The suspect was convicted of manslaughter when he was 18. While in prison, he was found guilty of assaulting prison employees, drug possession and fighting. He was released from prison in January 2015 and received a DUI in November of that year. The suspect took up rapping following his prison release, going by the name King Playbola. he posted videos on YouTube showcasing his skills. Cooksey was arrested again in May 2016 on a technical violation and went back to prison. He was freed June 20, 2016, but was arrested and booked in December due to another arrest warrant. On July 28, 2017, Cooksey was released. Four months later, he allegedly engaged in the murderous spree. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: USB drive jumpers Dear Webby, Congratulations and thanks for a most useful newsletter. I recently purchased a HD enclosure kit and am having problems making it work, Should the hard drive jumpers be set to slave? By the way I phoned the companies tech help line. They weren't. Dave Dear Dave Sorry that your email almost slipped by me! Yes, the jumper on the portable USB drive needs to be set to the "SLAVE" position. That way it will accept any stationary C: drive as it's master, and it will act as a secondary drive to both your desktop and laptop. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood back up and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and this time he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head. He stood up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
At one point during a soccer game, the coach called one of his 7- year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a fishbrain dumbass' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Oatmeal Face Scrub This is a simple and cheap face scrub that helps get rid of blackheads. Make a paste with oatmeal and water and apply it liberally to your face. Let the paste dry completely and then rub it off with your fingers. As you remove the oatmeal you will also remove any dead skin. Lastly, rinse your face with warm water. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ >From Pat in OZ "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money." | | Copenhagen's Urban Birdhouses. |
From Catherine You're still funny after all these years - and informative, intelligent, just plain useful! Thank you! Catherine ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 21, in 1789 W.H. Brown's "Power of Sympathy" was published. It was the first American novel to be published. The novel is also known as the "Triumph of Nature Founded in Truth". 1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was executed on the guillotine. He had been condemned for treason. 1853 Dr. Russell L. Hawes patented the envelope folding machine. 1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first time. 1900 Canadian troops set sail to fight in South Africa. The Boers had attacked Ladysmith on January 8, 1900. 1911 The first Monte Carlo car rally was held. Seven days later it was won by Henri Rougier. 1915 The first Kiwanis club was formed in Detroit, MI. 1924 Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin died. Joseph Stalin began a purge of his rivals for the leadership of the Soviet Union. 1927 The first opera broadcast over a national radio network was presented in Chicago, IL. The opera was "Faust". 1941 The British communist newspaper, the "Daily Worker," was banned due to wartime restrictions. 1954 The Nautilus was launched in Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered submarine. U.S. First Lady Mamie Eisenhower broke the traditional bottle of champagne across the bow. 1954 The gas turbine automobile was introduced in New York City. 1970 The Boeing 747 made its first commercial flight from New York to London for Pan American. 1970 ABC-TV presented "The Johnny Cash Show" in prime time. 1976 The French Concorde SST aircraft began regular commercial service for Air France and British Airways. 1977 U.S. President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War draft evaders. 1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 1994 A jury in Manassas, VA, acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by reason of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding (severing his penis) her husband John. She accused him of sexually assaulting her. 1997 Newt Gingrich was fined as the U.S. House of Representatvies voted for first time in history to discipline its leader for ethical misconduct. 1998 A former White House intern said on tape that she had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 1999 The U.S. Coast Guard intercepted a ship headed for Houston, TX, that had over 9,500 pounds of cocaine aboard. It was one of the largest drug busts in U.S. history. 2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when lava flow ignited a gas station. The people killed were trying to steal fuel from elevated tanks. The eruption of Mount Nyiragongo began on January 17, 2002. 2002 In London, a 17th century book by Capt. John Smith, founder of the English settlement at Jamestown, was sold at auction for $48,800. "The General History of Virginia, New England and the Summer Isles" was published in 1632. 2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that estimates showed that the Hispanic population had passed the black population for the first time. 2018 Do smiled. |
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