Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 31 ___________________________________________________ Today, December 31 in 1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Grubhub Driver Attacked Burger King Workers __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I am no more humble than my talents require. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. --- Robert Heinlein _______________________________________________ At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your." Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed." The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating. On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!" The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of his "stern looks". "Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed." ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Delellis 43, Clearwater, Floriduh Grubhub Driver Attacked Burger King Workers Two Burger King employees were attacked yesterday by a Grubhub deliveryman who became agitated when informed that his order was not ready for pick up, according to police reports. Investigators say that Daniel Delellis, 43, arrived at a Burger King in Clearwater, Florida around 5:20 PM Saturday to pick up an order for Grubhub, the online food ordering business. But when told he would have to wait for the order, Delellis allegedly walked outside and picked up a 3 foot in height hard plastic ash tray and swung it at the restaurant's front doors. Delellis, seen above, then struck a male employee in the chest with the ash tray. When a 20-year-old female worker told Delellis that he had to leave the property, Delellis allegedly swung his left hand and struck the victim on the right cheek leaving a red mark, according to cops. Delellis was subsequently arrested by police on a pair of misdemeanor battery counts. He is being held in the county jail in lieu of $1000 bond, and a judge has ordered him to stay away from the Burger King and have no contact with the two victims. Delellis was arrested in late-October after a series of road rage incidents during which he attacked vehicles driven by three separate women. In addition to breaking the rear window of one car with his hands, Delellis allegedly jumped on the hood of a second vehicle, and threw rocks at a third car being driven by a woman who works for Uber Eats. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Art Re: URL of links Dear Webby, How do I see the full link in the humour letter? I am not interested in fotosearch.com sites, for example, and there is no point in me opening the site and using their internet time and mine for no reason at all. Thanks. Dear Art To see where the link goes, make sure your status bar is enabled, then hover the mouse over the link. It will show in the status bar where it goes to. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door, rolling pin in hand." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
My mother began getting calls from people who misdialed the similar number of a new computer repair business. Mom, who had her number for years, asked the owner of the company to have the number changed. He refused. The calls kept coming day and night. Finally, Mom began telling the people who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the computer repair company voluntarily changed its number. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Using It All - Ointment I keep a baby at my home during the week and I get so frustrated when the tube of Aquaphor Healing Ointment is almost gone and I just can't get the last bit to squeeze out! Knowing good and well that there is plenty still in there and I am going to have to throw it out! So I decided to cut the tube about an inch or so (depending on the size of the tube) below the (squeeze) top. Then all I have to do is scoop a bit out with my finger. I put the top part with what is left into a small ziplock bag. I was amazed at just how much was left in there! It will work with any sort of squeeze tube. By Boo from West Columbia, SC Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ | | I have never heard of this bear before, what an amazing story. |
___________________________________________________ One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Brian," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Brian nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?" ___________________________________________________ Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I hit his wheelchair with the car." ___________________________________________________ A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 31 in 1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. 1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted in many windows being bricked up. 1711 The Duke of Marlborough was dismissed as commander-in- chief. 1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was killed in the battle. 1841 The State of Alabama enacted the first dental legislation in the U.S. 1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital of Canada. 1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers of arrivals. 1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of hostilities in World War II. 1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn more than one billion dollars in a single year. 1961 In the U.S., the Marshall Plan expired after distributing more than $12 billion in foreign aid. 1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold for the first time in more than 40 years. 1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start of 1979. 1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 1996 NCR Corp. became an independent company. 1997 Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen. Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on Aspen Mountain in Colorado. 1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from Katmandu, Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 2004 In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public. 2019 Do smiled. |
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