Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 20 On Thursday, January 21, I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. Well, you know the routine. After that I won't be able to write and send your newsletter for 3 days. NO Friday, Saturday or Sunday issue. Monday I will be back in your mail again. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wisconsin teen charged with killing infant daughter ___________________________________________________ Today, January 19 in 1944 - The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on Berlin. _____________________________________________________ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) _____________________________________________________ Here is a Classic: I gaze at the brilliant moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come closest to Utopia and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. Then I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. _____________________________________________________ Husband: "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!" Wife: "No problem. I'll get you some that is." _____________________________________________________ Nataliya Zubar ___________________________________________________ Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Washington DC knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "all the really bad drivers are dead now." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Logan Kruckenburg-Anderson, Albany, Wisconsin, USA Wisconsin teen charged with killing infant daughter A 16-year-old boy has admitted fatally shooting his newborn daughter and leaving her body inside a fallen tree in the woods in southern Wisconsin, according to prosecutors. Logan Kruckenburg-Anderson, of Albany, is charged as an adult with first-degree intentional homicide and hiding a corpse. He's being held on $1 million bail following a hearing this week in Green County Circuit Court in Monroe. His public defender did not immediately return a call seeking comment. According to a criminal complaint, the teen took the infant shortly after she was born Jan. 5 to a wooded area in Albany, about 80 miles (129 kilometers) southwest of Milwaukee, placed her inside a fallen tree and shot her twice in the head. The complaint says Kruckenburg-Anderson's girlfriend gave birth to the child, whom she named Harper, in a bathtub at her home in Albany. Prosecutors said the couple decided they could not keep the baby and talked about several options, including dropping her off at a local fire station or placing her up for adoption, the State Journal reported. They agreed that Kruckenberg-Anderson would get rid of the infant simply by dropping her somewhere, according to authorities. Several days later the girlfriend's father called police to report that Kruckenberg-Anderson had taken the child and the baby had not been seen since. Kruckenberg-Anderson was arrested Sunday after telling investigators where he left the child. A preliminary hearing will be held on Jan. 20. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Vin Re: Unwanted tool bars Dear Webby Every program I install seems to come with some silly toolbar that has maybe one icon on it that I use and half a dozen that are totally useless. If they have so little confidence in their program that they feel they have to provide an UN- install icon on prime, easy to get to, toolbar space, why sell it in the first place? How can I restrict all those silly toolbars to just one icon? Vin Dear Vin You can't. Just delete all those silly little toolbars. Make desktop shortcuts to the programs that you need, then make a desktop folder and drag them in there. Next you drag that folder into a subdirectory, and make one desktop shortcut icon for that. That way YOU control which icons are taking up space. Good Luck! DearWebby Angus McGillicuddy was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, the tightwad received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately." If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work, Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! | _____________________________________________ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. Until snow plowing season starts and more money comes in, I can't afford a divorce!" ____________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ____________________________________________ Sandra was trying on an EXTREMELY low cut dress. As she studied herself in the mirror, she asked Cindy if she thought it was too low cut. Cindy: "Do you have hair on your chest?" Sandra "No -- certainly NOT!!!" Cindy "Then it's too low cut." ____________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today Jan 20 in 1265 - The first English parliament met in Westminster Hall. 1839 - Chile defeated a confederation of Peru and Bolivia in the Battle of Yungay. 1841 - The island of Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain. It returned to Chinese control in July 1997. 1885 - The roller coaster was patented by L.A. Thompson. 1886 - The Mersey Railway Tunnel was officially opened by the Prince of Wales. 1887 - The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base. 1892 - The first official basketball game was played by students at the Springfield, MA, YMCA Training School. 1929 - The movie "In Old Arizona" was released. The film was the first full-length talking film to be filmed outdoors. 1937 - Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the first U.S. President to be inaugurated on January 20th. The 20th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution officially set the date for the swearing in of the President and Vice President. 1942 - Nazi officials held the Wannsee conference, during which they arrived at their "final solution" that called for exterminating Europe's Jews. 1944 - The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on Berlin. 1952 - In Juarez, Mexico, Patricia McCormick debuted as the first professional woman bullfighter from the United States. 1953 - "Studio One" became the first television show to be transmitted from the United States to Canada. 1954 - The National Negro Network was formed on this date. Forty radio stations were charter members of the network. 1972 - The number of unemployed in Britain exceeded 1 million. 1981 - Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. 1985 - The most-watched Super Bowl game in history was seen by an estimated 115.9 million people. The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Miami Dolphins, 38-16. Super Bowl XIX marked the first time that TV commercials sold for a million dollars a minute. 1986 - The U.S. observed the first federal holiday in honor of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. 1986 - Britain and France announced their plans to build the Channel Tunnel. 1986 - New footage of the 1931 "Frankenstein" was found. The footage was originally deleted because it was considered to be too shocking. 1987 - Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite was kidnapped in Beirut, Lebanon. He was there attempting to negotiate the release of Western hostages. He was not freed until November 1991. 1994 - Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to attend classes at The Citadel in South Carolina. Faulkner joined the cadet corps in August 1995 under court order but soon dropped out. 1996 - Yasser Arafat was elected president of the Palestinian Authority and his supporters won two thirds of the 80 seats in the Legislative Council. 1997 - Bill Clinton was inaugurated for his second term as president of the United States. 1998 - American researchers announced that they had cloned calves that may produce medicinal milk. 1998 - In Chile, a judge agreed to hear a lawsuit that accused Chile's former dictator Augusto Pinochet with genocide. 1999 - The China News Service announced that the Chinese government was tightening restrictions on internet use. The rules were aimed at 'Internet Bars.' 2000 - Greece and Turkey signed five accords aimed to build confidence between the two nations. 2021 Do smiled. |
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