Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, October 5 Thank you very much, Chubs!! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida dope dealer charged after he installed cameras, recording his dealings Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 5 in 2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. --- attributed to Dan Quayle I didn't really say everything I said. --- Yogi Berra (1925 ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mary's mother asked her, "What did Father say when he found out that you're pregnant?" Mary said, "Should I leave out the profanity?" "Yes, of course!" her mom said. Mary said, "Well, then he didn't say anything." _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this Q&A: Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answers: They are the only ones who have the time. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal. Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answers: The never ending Coffee Break. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jackie for this story: A man approached the minister at his church..."Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?" "I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and will motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg with the hat pin. In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp hat pin. "Yes! You are correct,! Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply. Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon, Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones. "My God!" Howled Mrs Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" Bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though, she again nodded off. This time however, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me one more time ... I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!" "Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation ______________________________________________________ Mt Fuji from the ocean _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan Dejesus Cabral, 26, Julie Rembert, 20, Stuart, Florida Florida dope dealer charged after he installed cameras, recording his dealings Juan Dejesus Cabral, 26, who was arrested about 9:30 a.m. Thursday and charged with possession of cocaine, possession of Hydromorphone and possession of drug paraphernalia, found that out the hard way. Martin County sheriff's deputies were pleasantly surprised when they found six cameras throughout Cabral's Southeast Norfolk Street home in Stuart, according to a Facebook post from the Sheriff's Office. "If you purchased or sold drugs at a home on Southeast Norfolk Street in Stuart, you may soon be selected for a future booking photo," the post read. Cabral's girlfriend, Julie Rembert, 20, also was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine, according to an arrest affidavit. According to the report, Cabral installed the cameras because he was afraid of being robbed. SWAT and narcotics detectives found the cameras after an early morning search of the home in the 80 block of Norfolk Street, according to the report. One camera was pointed directly at a shed used to store drugs, according to the social media post. Deputies found about 4 grams of crack cocaine in the shed, though Cabral told investigators he didn't know it was there, according to the report. Detectives are going through footage to identify customers, according to the post. A search warrant was issued for the security system Thursday, according to the report. Detectives watched footage of Cabral going to the shed where the drugs were found and reaching to the area where the drugs were stored, according to the report. Detectives also watched footage of a few other drug sales, according to the report. Cabral and Rembert were taken to the Martin County Jail at about noon Thursday, but both were released on bail by Friday morning. Cabral's bail was $20,500, and Rembert's was $5,000. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nancy Re: Camera Screen Goes Dark Dear Webby, My digital camera screen goes dark or does not work in daylight outside, but works fine inside the house. Is there a setting for outside, to make it brighter? Nancy Dear Nancy Read the manual for that camera. Many cameras nowadays have a brightness adjustment for the monitor. Other than that, it's not the camera, it's your eyes that adjust to the bright light outside. Compared to that, the screen appears black. You can get cheap, or expensive, glare shield funnels, or make one, but they are very klutzy and bulky. Professional fotographers have used a black cape to flip over the head and the camera for 200 years. They are still the best solution if your camera does not have a true through the lens optical viewfinder in addition to the screen. You don't need a lined velvet cape like the old time photographers needed. The thinnest black silk you can find is best, so that you can fold it up small and stick it into one of those film containers that clip onto the camera strap. Any small box, just large enough to hold the folded up cape, will do. Just glue a loop of a short piece of ribbon onto it, so that you can thread the camera strap through that loop. While you are at it, make a spare. People WILL try to borrow or buy it from you. Have FUN! DearWebby Several women were visiting an elderly friend who was ill. After awhile, they rose to leave and told her; "We will keep you in our prayers." "Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing woman said, "I can do my own praying." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Potatoes Potatoes should be stored in cool, dark place at about 40F. If potatoes get too warm, they will sprout and if they get too cold, they will get sweet. If potatoes are stored at below 40F, simply let them warm up at room temperature for a few days and their normal flavor will return. Do not allow potatoes to freeze. Potatoes should be stored in a bin or a bag that is at least a few inches off the ground but not piled more than 18 inches deep. If stored in a the right conditions, potatoes can be stored for months. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com This may or may not be superstition, but where I grew up in the mountains of Austria, the ``potato cellar in every house had to have open, uncovered ground. We had a cncrete walkway, but under the shelves there was the dirt floor. The potatoes were in wooden bins on 2x4s at the bottom of all the shelves. Apples were one tier higher, and in the corner were the Sauerkraut barrels. We had potatoes till after the biggest ones were cut up in spring and used to start the next crop. We never ran out of potatoes, though in summer mom occasionally "stole" a few handfuls by digging in with her bare hands and grabbing young ones for a potato salad. There probably IS something to the old ways of having open, "breathing" ground in the potato cellar. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | Can we autocorrect humanity? |
____________________________________________________ Subject: THE VALUE OF UNDIES Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle, especially in public. From the Sydney Morning Herald - Australia comes this story: A west central couple who drove their car to the store only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was idly standing by. The mechanic, however, required three stitches in his head. __________________________________________________ | | Artist transforms fallen redwood into a giant octopus. |
___________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, Jim asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation. "Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the seventh time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested for the same thing in 1572, 1649, 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. ____________________________________________________ From Rose Dear Webby Thank you, it worked. Rose From Margee Thank you so very much for the "French" quotes! Absolutely hilarious (and some of them from such a long time ago, too). - Margee :) | Today, October 5, in 1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British and the allied Indian warriors. 1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the Canadian border. 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. 1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a transcontinental airplane flight. 1930 "The Fighting Priest" began airing on CBS radio. 1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated in Japan and took about 41 hours. 1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of aggressor nations. 1955 The play "The Diary of Anne Frank" opened at the Cort Theatre in New York. 1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and landed without being detected. 1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman died in prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 1989 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) was named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent campaign to end the Chinese domination of Tibet. Gyatso was the 15th Dalai Lama. 1990 The Glasgow Royal Concert Hall opened. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bosnian combatants. The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual and that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The paper paid damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on the international space station to keep the cash-strapped Russian space agency afloat. 1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge. 2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. 2017 Do smiled. |
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