Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 25 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 25 in 1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical motor. There was no practical electical distribution system available and Davenport went bankrupt. ______________________________________________________ With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky. --- Solomon Short ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Today's Bonehead Award: Mad Mike Hughes killed himself __________________________________________ A Marine had been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a girl wearing the tightest pants he had ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get in those pants?" The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: __________________________________________ Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten" he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague: "You know the person that did this really needs help. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a DARWIN AWARD has been earned by Mad Mike's last ride Mike Hughes, Barstow, California A self-styled daredevil died Saturday after a rocket in which he launched himself crashed into the ground, a colleague and a witness said. Mad" Mike Hughes died after the homemade rocket crashed on private property near Barstow about 1:52 p.m. near Highway 247, the Daily Press of Victorville reported. Waldo Stakes, a colleague who was at the rocket launch, said Hughes, 64, was killed. It was unsuccessful, and he passed away," Stakes told The Associated Press. He declined further comment. Justin Chapman, a freelance journalist, told the AP that he and his wife witnessed the crash. The rocket appeared to rub against the launch apparatus, which might have torn the parachutes attached to it, Chapman said. The rocket came straight down into the ground, Chapman said. According to a San Bernardino County Sheriffs Department statement, deputies were called to the event. A man was pronounced deceased after the rocket crashed in the open desert during a rocket launch event, the statement said. The sheriffs department did not identify the person who died. In March 2018, Hughes, who believed the Earth is flat, propelled himself about 1,875 feet into the air before a hard landing in the Mojave Desert. My story really is incredible, Hughes told the AP at the time. Its got a bunch of story lines the garage-built thing. Im an older guy. Its out in the middle of nowhere, plus the Flat Earth. The problem is it brings out all the nuts also, people questioning everything. Its the downside of all this. Mad Mike Hughes insisted that the earth is flat, and that unmanned testing was not necessary. He also argued against balancing single nozzle rockets. Most likely his rocket was still accelerating when it arced over and down into the dirt. His method of propulsion was storing low pressure steam in an electric water heater, that he had bought on eBay. Somehow he believed that using thermite to heat the water, or propane, was too dangerous. None of his rockets ever went higher than a COSTCO drone. He could have used one of those to take pictures of the earth, or taken a regular flight. They go up to a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet now, and land relatively gently. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Cinderella Re: UNinsrtaller Dear Webby A few years ago you mentioned a program, that will do a clean UNinstall of stuff, that has become a nuisance or is no longer needed. What is that program, and where do you hide it? Cinderella Dear Cinderella Try the Revo Uninstaller at Revo It has been around for ages and still works well. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | ____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself. This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates. All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet (in the good old USA) with the right attorney you could win anything! (see OJ trial) 1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little prick was Ms. Robertson's son. 2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps. 3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars. 4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 7. And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail: Kenmore Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "just a few minutes, on low." The case was quickly dismissed. -------- I don't know whether the above are true, or just typical. _____________________________________________ A man who takes great pride in his lawn has a heavy crop of dandelions. After unsuccessfully trying every known way of getting rid of them, he writes to the Department of Agriculture enumerating all of the things he has tried. At the end of the letter, he asks, "What shall I do now?" In due course he receives the reply: "We suggest you learn to love them." --------------- Young dandelions make delicious salad! They look and taste like Arrigula, maybe a bit stronger. I love them with tiny flecks of onion and Kraft Raspberry dressing. Right now, though, they are lurking under the snow, just waiting to sproing up when we go onto Summer time and the snow goes away till November. ____________________________________________ Some wacky definitions. SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas or Alberta theater that isn't a western. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue - or the most important part of a gun. COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the car. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers. TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened. SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people yakking in chlorinated piss. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. ____________________________________________ No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today February 25 in 1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V. 1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act in the U.S. 1793 The department heads of the U.S. government met with U.S. President Washington for the first Cabinet meeting on U.S. record. 1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical motor. There was no practical electical distribution system available and Davenport went bankrupt. 1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax. 1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 1928 The Federal Radio Commission issued the first U.S. television license to Charles Jenkins Laboratories in Washington, DC. 1930 The bank check photographing device was patented. 1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel up as an aircraft carrier for WWII. 1940 The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress in Moscow. 1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorists who had hijacked a jumbo jet. 1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 1999 William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were later convicted for their involvement. 1999 In Moscow, China's Prime Minister Zhu Rongji and Russia's President Boris Yeltsin discussed trade and other issues. 2000 In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 10 life prison terms. 2020 Do smiled. |
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Go to TOP Well, Do , that's all for today.
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