Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 22 So far September has been cold and snowy. The "Gullible Warming" cycle is definitely being replaced by the "Ice Age Is Coming" cycle. Last time we were in that cycle in the early 70s, they blamed it on our muscle cars. What are they going to blame it on this time, so that they can put the blame on you? It won't work on me. I know about the cycles, and I read the Farmers Almanac. Invest in Snow Blowers! 30 years from now we will have Gullible Warming again, but until then we are in a cool cycle. Oh, right, it's all Trump's fault! That guy is too cool! Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Girlfriend caught using glitter & crayons to mail drugs to boyfriend in Hampton jail ______________________________________________________ Today, September 22 in 1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) With donkeys, philosophers and politicians it is sometimes difficult to tell whether they are thinking really deep thoughts, or whether they have bottomed out. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Anni suggested a book for Sam to read to enhance their relationship. It's entitled, 'Women are From Venus, Men Are Wrong' ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing nearby. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one wise young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Milne, 33, Hampton, Virginia Girlfriend caught using glitter & crayons to mail drugs to boyfriend in Hampton jail A woman is accused of using glitter glue and crayons to get drugs to her boyfriend inside of the Hampton City Jail. Krystal Milne, a 33-year-old from Hampton was arrested on August 16. She is accused of attempting to mail suspected narcotics into the jail located on the 100 block of High Court Lane. Court documents reveal that a detective was monitoring a jailhouse phone call between inmate Robert Davis and his girlfriend, Milne. Documents state the two were discussing that narcotics be mailed to Davis while in jail. Milne is accused of telling him to pay special attention to the middle cloud in the picture and that she was going to try and use glitter glue this time," according to documents. Hampton Police said Milne is the only one facing charges. The detective reportedly told the Sheriff's Office to be on alert for mail being delivered to the jail. On August 16 the Sheriff's Department said they received three letters sent from Milne to Davis and each one contained suspected narcotics as described in the phone call. Documents state the narcotics were concealed by using glitter glue and crayons. Milne was arrested for one count of delivery of drugs to a prisoner and possession of marijuana. From Crystal Re: Underlined shortcut letters Dear Webby: I have used the underlined letters in menus as short-cut keys for ages. Now my dear but rather klutzy hubby did a whole lot of changes and somehow disabled them. He does not remember which of the dozens of changes he made could have caused that. Help! Crystal Dear Crystal Right-click the Desktop, choose Properties, and click the Appearance tab. Click the Effects button and remove the check mark from the line: Hide Underlined Letters for Keyboard Navigation Until I Press The Alt Key. Hit OK a bunch of times to step out of that and the underlines all appear, ready to be used for shortcuts. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. That bonehead reminded me of a letter Linda had sent me some time ago: >From Linda A relative called and asked me if I could loan her $400 to help her pay her rent. I told her...give me a minute let me check my account and I'll call you right back." Before I could check my funds, my aunt called and said, "Don't give her any money because she's lying". My aunt proceeded to tell me that she wants to use that $400 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for the holidays!!! So I thought about it for a minute, and decided to go ahead and give her the $400. I called and said, "Come on, I got you." A couple hours later, I got a call from the County Jail, and it was her... "Why did you give me counterfeit money?!" I replied with the best answer I could: "So you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for the holidays. You're welcome." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Overheard at a Computer Store: "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year- old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checkout Surprise Shop at Bakery Outlets If possible, buy your bread, hamburger and hot dog buns, etc. at a bakery outlet store. In my area, I can get a loaf of bread for .55, as opposed to over $1.00 or more at the grocery store. Go twice a month, and freeze the loaves. You'll save a bundle, and it's definitely worth the trip! By Marlene Ask your Bakery Outlet what days are their sale days. They quite often have much cheaper prices on these days. Also, if you have chickens you can get feed bread for next to nothing. Susan I vaguely remember bakery outlet stores. Good old days! Nowadays, where each supermarket gets their breads frozen, by the truckload, and thaws it out as needed, and refreezes leftovers, those bargains are history. No more sale days on bread, unless you get on REALLY good terms with staff there. There are no more bakers around. The bakers are maybe a thousand miles away. The stores just have staff thawing and heating frozen bread according to the schedule taped to the freezer by the manager. If you want actually fresh bread, go to Tim Hortons or Subway. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | What Ali wore. I love this story, a man "dressed to the nines" everyday. |
___________________________________________________ A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later. The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented. Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful lady on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!" She said, "Why?" "Because I've been looking for my wife all over this silly mall and I can't find her," the man replied. "How will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is." "I didn't think you did. However, every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife instantly appears!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A Sunday school teacher asked her students why they had to be quiet during the Church service. One bright little girl replied "Because people are sleeping." ____________________________________________________ | Today, September 22 in 1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous "long-count" fight. 1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act that established the Peace Corps. 1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a full-scale war. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist Nicholas Daniloff. 1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised compensation. 1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yemeni and Jordanian envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 1991 An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the Soviet Union's British spy ring. 1992 The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the country. 1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 2018 Do smiled. |
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