Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, July 27 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 27 in  1866 - Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Michigan man accused of blackmailing 16-year-old Kansas girl on Snapchat  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) _____________________________________________________ There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go in business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located. I stopped by for a visit. "Hey John, I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work." ------------------ That sure sounds familiar! I am still on 16 hour days. ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Martez Hurst, 22, Detroit, Michigan r Michigan man accused of blackmailing 16-year-old Kansas girl on Snapchat  A 22-year-old Michigan man is charged with using Snapchat to coerce an Overland Park teenager to send him sexually explicit videos. Martez Hurst, of suburban Detroit, is charged in Johnson County, Kansas, with two counts of sexual exploitation of a child and one count of blackmail. The Kansas City Star reports charging documents say Hurst told police he had tried to commit similar crimes against about 20 other females. Investigators say Hurst began communicating with the 16-year-old Overland Park girl in January 2018, while posing as a 17-year-old boy who attended a nearby high school. The teenager told investigators she sent Hurst about 10 nude photos of herself but refused to send sexually explicit videos. She said in March, Hurst threatened to release the photos if she didn't send a video.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Bill Re: Windows Tweaker  Dear Webby: Once again you have the answer. WinAero Tweaker not only changed the startup sound, it also provides many other tweaks. I had never heard of this program but I am really impressed. Once again, thank you for your help. Bill  Hi Bill The Tweaker is not advertised anywhere, so that Microsoft won't kill it or do anything against it. It is just quietly passed along between friends. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 >From Gita We invited some old friends to help celebrate my 40th birth- day. My husband went out to buy a gift, and he saw some cute little music boxes. A blue one was playing "Happy Birthday to You." Thinking they were all the same, he picked up a red one and asked the clerk to have it gift-wrapped. When we sat down to dinner, he gave it to me, asked me to open it and surprise out came the tune to "The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be." 
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 As I was dropping off my son at his daycare the other day, I overheard some of the other children talking about their siblings. "My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one little boy. "My sister takes gymnastics," said another. Not to be outdone, the littlest child in the group piped up. "My sifter takes antibiotics!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Free Credit Reports Online You can get access your credit report from the three major credit reporting companies for free at www.annualcreditreport.com. Equifax, Experian and TransUnion are required by law to give you access to your credit report once a year for free. Be careful that you don't sign up for them watching your credit. It can cost 19.95 a month or more and is automatically deducted. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
Denver Museum 
 ___________________________________________________ Goadster, Buckethead, and Graahound were all locked away in the Armstrong Mental Institution for many many years. (Where they belonged, mind you.) One day, the head quack tells them that if they pass a test he wanted to administer to them, they'd be deemed mentally competent and free to leave the nut house. Should they fail, however, they'd be locked away for another five years of observation. All three took the doc up on his offer. The four of them went to the hospital's indoor pool. The pool was drained of water. The doctor leads the patients up to the diving platform. The doctor motions to Goadster. "Jump." Without hesitation, Goadster leaps off the platform, right into the pool, breaking both arms in the process. The doctor notes this on his clipboard and tells Buckethead, "Jump." Also without hesitation, Buckethead flies off the platform into the empty poll, breaking both of his legs. After noting the results on his clipboard, the doctor tells Graahound, "Jump." Graahound shakes his head. "Naw. I don't think so." The doctor notes this on his clipboard rather enthusiastically and says, "Congratulations, 'Hound. You're a free man. Just tell me one thing. Why didn't you jump?" Graahound says, "I can't swim." ----------------- He is in the Dem primary now and doing quite well. ___________________________________________________ While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold onto your nuts, we're taking off". ___________________________________________________ At their high school reunion Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years. Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children, "My son is a doctor, and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer, and they have three great kids. So tell me, Esther, how about your kids?" Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either." Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren! So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, July 27 in 1214 - At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus of France defeated John of England. 1663 - The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act, which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in British ships from British ports. 1689 - Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at the Battle of Killiecrankie. 1694 - The Bank of England received a royal charter as a commercial institution. 1777 - The marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help the rebellious American colonists fight the British. 1778 - The British and French fleets fought to a standoff in the first Battle of Ushant. 1866 - Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe. 1909 - Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane flight. He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it in the air for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds. 1914 - British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, and began to disarm Irish rebels. 1918 - The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete barge and was used to carry oil. 1921 - Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates announced the discovery of the hormone insulin. 1940 - Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros. animated cartoon "A Wild Hare." 1944 - U.S. troops completed the liberation of Guam. 1947 - The World Water Ski Organization was founded in Geneva, Switzerland. 1953 - The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was signed at Panmunjon, Korea. 1955 - The Allied occupation of Austria ended. I remember that! I was still in Austria then. Meat rationing ended and all kids got a Bratwurst and a bun after listening to a speech by the principal of our school. 1964 - U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000 advisers to South Vietnam. 1965 - In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and Advertising Act was signed into law. The law required health warnings on all cigarette packages. 1967 - U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission to assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting. 1974 - The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures against President Richard Nixon. 1980 - The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a hospital near Cairo, Egypt. 1993 - IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced an $8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs. 1995 - The Korean War Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC, by U.S. President Clinton and South Korean President Kim Young-sam. 1999 - The U.S. space shuttle Discovery completed a five-day mission commanded by Air Force Col. Eileen Collins. It was the first shuttle mission to be commanded by a woman. 2001 - The ribbon cutting ceremony was held for American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX. The event set two new world records, one for the 3 mile long ribbon and one for the 2,000 people that cut it. 2003 - It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of the "Loch Ness Monster" began in the 6th century. 2006 - Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors. 2019 Do smiled.