Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, May 15 Hi Daniel, For The Thirtty-Fifth Time, You Forget That You Are Still A Yahoo. Att.Net Is Just A Mask For Yahoos, Who Are Ashamed Of Being Yahoos. There Is Nothing I Can Do About Your Subscription, After It Has Entered The Yahoo Server. It Is Up To You To Either A) Stop The Blocking, Or B) Get A Reliable Address On The Side. You Can Continue Using Att.Net / Yahoo For Cybersex And Baseball Card Trading, You Just Need A Respectable Address On The Side For Stuff, That You Or Yahoo Are Blocking. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: New Jersey Man High On Pcp Busted After He Stops Car In The Middle Of The Lincoln Tunnel To Masturbate Details At Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 15 in 1602 - Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. --- James Thurber I think AOL is built on that concept ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Euro-Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian, and every detail is coordinated by the Swiss. Euro-Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German, and it's organized by the Italians. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Baking Cookies With Your Cat 1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe. 2. Get cup of coffee. 3. Get cat off of cookbook. 4. Find that special recipe. 5. Get cat's nose out of coffee mug. 6. Go to fridge and get eggs. 7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard. 8. Break eggs in small bowl. 9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl. 10. Answer the phone. 11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge. 12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off. 13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands. 14. Throw flour out and get more. 15. Preheat oven for cookies. 16. Glare at cat with desire to bake cat now. 17. Watch cat run for cover into bathroom. 18. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough. 19. Run to bathroom to investigate loud crashing sound. 20. Cat has toilet paper all over floor and your personal bathroom things knocked over on top of the counter. 21. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl. 22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off. 23. Get bandages to cover more scratches on arms and legs. 24. Clean up bathroom. 25. Run to kitchen to see what cat is doing now. 26. Get wet cat off floured counter in kitchen. 27. Try to pick cat hairs out of flour. 28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten. 29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies. 30. Casually fling cat onto the roof of a passing Winnebago 31. Act surprised when you find that the cat has made it home before you. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ismael Esquilin, 48, Passaic, N.J., New Jersey man high on PCP busted after he stops car in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel to masturbate The Lincoln Tunnel became the tunnel of self-love when a man high on PCP blocked traffic with his minivan to take time to pleasure himself, authorities said. Port Authority cops busted Ismael Esquilin, 48, of Passaic, N.J., about 7:15 p.m. Thursday when his Dodge minivan was found stopped in the middle of the New Jersey-bound side of the Hudson River tunnel, holding up traffic. When cops approached the car, they found Esquilin removing his clothes and performing a lewd act, Port Authority spokesman Joe Pentangelo said. The idling minivan was running and the keys were in the ignition. Cops also found a glass pipe and small glass bottles containing PCP on the passenger seat floor. After cops covered Esquilin with a blanket, the man admitted that he had smoked PCP but refused to take a Breathalyzer test, authorities said. Police took Esquilin to New Jersey, where he was charged with drug possession, driving under the influence of drugs, reckless driving and impeding traffic, officials said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Barbara Re: Too many unknown programs running Dear Webby I have Microsoft Windows 7 home edition and have "suddenly developed" a problem -- under Windows Task Manager, Processes, it shows 40 are running, all but a couple are exe files but I am unable to identify what they are. Have been trying to defrag but each time I bring it up, I get a message saying there is insufficient room on my puter to do so. It seems to me the reason there isn't enough room is due to all those programs running at the same time. How do I stop them without causing a problem or losing them - they may be things I will want or need. Barbara Dear Barbara TaskManager shows how much RAM those programs use. Install Spybot-Search&Destroy from the right side menu. That will get rid of the spyware. Then run it in Advanced mode and analyze the start up. It will let you disable all the programs that are safe to disable. However, all of that does not give you disk space. That just gives you more available RAM. To get more free disk space you will just have to get rid of files. Use Everything from http://www.voidtools.com/ it is free. With that you can list ALL the pictures. Chances are that you have a lot of unnecessary pictures, like the silly stuff from Incredimail. Sort by size, and get rid of that crap. The same goes for the other end of the scale. There are probably all kinds of excessively huge pictures sent to you ages ago. Dump them. Then look at program files. You can use Everything to show just programs. There are probably a bunch that you only vaguely remember, but that you have not used for ages. Check their location, then go to that lokation, look for an UNinstall file, and UNinstall them. Quite often, but not always, that gets rid of all their auxiliary files. You might still have to manually clean up a bit, but most should be gone after UNinstalling. In an evening of cleaning up you should be able to make enough room that the Defrag from Glary Utilities will run. If there is stuff that you dont really want to dump, but wont be using for some time, then move it onto an 8 or 16 GB camera chip. Have FUN! DearWebby Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," came the reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Preventing and Killing Weeds Between Bricks Vinegar can kill weeds and grass when poured full strength in cement driveways or brick walkways. By imaqt1962 | | Mountain biking - extreme |
____________________________________________________ If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook people taking things out on you when, if through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax at any given moment, If you can always sleep without the aid of drugs, Then,........ You are probably the family dog. ___________________________________________________ | | A stained glass cabin in the woods. |
Chandler wasn't too happy with his doctor's recommendation to cure his constant fatigue. "You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried. "I'm a young guy. I'm in the prime of my life. How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?" "Well," replied the doctor, "you could get married and taper off gradually." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
From Lynn My son's friend was spending the night, both are a 11 years old. I guess the classics are not big at his friend's house. While I was talking about some classic movies, I asked Andy if he ever saw "Gone With The Wind." He said "No, but saw "Gone in 60 Seconds." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on May 15 1602 - Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold. 1614 An aristocratic uprising in France ended with the treaty of St.Menehould. 1618 Johannes Kepler discovered his harmonics law. 1702 The War of Spanish Succession began. 1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased Corsica from Genoa just in time before Napoleon was born. 1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan. 1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in possession of Sicily. 1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. 1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell civil disorder. 1918 Regular airmail service between New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, DC, began under the direction of the Post Office Department, which later became the U.S. Postal Service. 1926 Roald Amundsen and Lincoln Ellsworth were forced down in Alaska after a four-day flight over an icecap. Ice had begun to form on the dirigible Norge. 1926 The New York Rangers were officially granted a franchise in the NHL. The NHL also announced that Chicago and Detroit would be joining the league in November. 1930 Ellen Church became the first female flight attendant. 1940 Nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in the U.S. 1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was 3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles. 1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon only hours after declaring its independence. 1951 AT&T became the first corporation to have one million stockholders. 1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas Island in the Pacific Ocean. 1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched in the Soviet Union. 1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched. 1964 The Smothers Brothers, Dick and Tom, gave their first concert in Carnegie Hall in New York City. 1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first two female generals. 1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency. Wallace was paralyzed by the shot. 1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from Cambodia's Khmer Rouge. 1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the United States took place. 1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by implosion. 1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been there for more than eight years. 1990 Vincent Van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" was sold for $82.5 million. The sale set a new world record. 1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh American astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station. 2014 The National September 11 Memorial Museum was dedicated in New York City. 2017 Do smiled. |
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