Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 28 ____________________________________________________ Today, September 28 in  1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 183.904 mph. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Oregon woman, 38, charged with putting drug in her co-workers's grub  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander _______________________________________________ Ron has been telling his wife for 37 years that diamonds look tacky on younger women. So far, it has worked ________________________________________________`   Common-Kestrel ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Cassandra Medina-Hernandez, 38, Jefferson, Oregon  Oregon woman, 38, charged with putting drug in her co-workers's grub  An Oregon felon allegedly placed methamphetamine into bean dip that she served to co-workers at a Thriftway supermarket, according to cops who arrested the woman on multiple criminal counts. Police charge that Cassandra Medina-Hernandez, 38, provided the spiked bean dip to a woman who fell ill after consuming it. Upon being treated at a hospital, the victim learned the bean dip may have contained methamphetamine, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. The 27-year-old victim told cops that Medina-Hernandez, who was working in the store's deli department, provided her with the bean dip, a probable cause affidavit states. A fellow Thriftway employee told police that Medina-Hernandez told her about placing drugs inside the victim's food. A second worker told investigators that Cassandra had messaged her to claim that placing the methamphetamine in the food was an accident. After opening a criminal probe earlier this month, investigators determined that at least one other employee had consumed bean dip from the same dish that was believed to have been contaminated. Deputies yesterday arrested Medina-Hernandez on several charges, including unlawful delivery of methamphetamine and recklessly endangering another person. Investigators said they have no reason to believe customers were served contaminated food at the supermarket in Jefferson, a city about 15 miles south of Salem. Pictured above, Medina-Hernandez is being held in the Marion County jail in lieu of $520,000 bail. Medina-Hernandez's rap sheet includes convictions for assault; robbery; identity theft; delivery of methamphetamine; theft; possession of methamphetamine; and felon in possession of a restricted weapon. When Medina-Hernandez was sentenced in 2015 on robbery and assault convictions--for which she received state prison time and a two-year probation term--a judge found her to be an alcoholic or drug-dependent person and ordered her placement in a treatment program. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: From Mary Re: Microsoft Bug Fixes  Dr.Webby I believe everything I read from you but I am a fairly new subscriber. Do I have to install all the stuff from Microsoft? I mean come on everyday or so they are putting all kinds of stuff on for me to download or they are installing something. Ever since this started my computer is getting slower every day. Thanks very much, Mary  Dear Mary Microsoft bug fixes are normally just on the second Tuesday every month. If you see more update requests acting like they were from Microsoft, then they are phony. MalwareBytes and McAfee and other anti-virus companies update their virus detection lists more frequently, sometimes more than once a day, if new viruses come out. However, they don't pretend to be from Microsoft and tell you that it is a McAfee update, and they don't disrupt your work. If you get daily update requests pretending to be from Microsoft, then either a big update did not get completed because of a poor or slow connection, or it is phony. Run a GOOD anti-virus program like Malwarebytes, and an Anti-Spyware program like Spybot-Search&Destroy, to see if your computer has been infected and is under control by you or somebody else Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 As a veterinarian, I was called at home in the middle of the night by a woman in distress. She had swallowed her dog's heart worm pill by mistake. I knew it wouldn't harm her, but by law, I'm forbidden to give medical advice. "If your dog had swallowed your pill, then you'd call me," I explained. "In this case, you really should consult with your own physician." "But it's one in the morning!" she exclaimed. "I can't wake my doctor." 
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 Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably 10 to life." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Table Salt for Car Windows If you sprinkle table salt on your windshield, it will defrost faster and make stubborn ice easier to scrape off. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
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 ___________________________________________________ How does Ruth like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan. "Oh, she's not pregnant," Ryan replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Danny pressed. "Well, Ryan explained, "When I come home from work, she's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet . ___________________________________________________ Guy goes to the Patents Office with some designs. He tells the clerk "I'd like to register my new invention, a folding bottle". Clerk: "Oh yes, what do you call it?" Inventor: "A fottle." Clerk: "That's a silly name, can you think of something else?" Inventor: "I'll think about it. I've got something else here, a folding carton." Clerk: "And what do you call that?" Inventor: "A farton." Clerk: "That's rude, you can't possibly use that name." Inventor: "Gee, you're probably not going to be like my folding bucket either!" ___________________________________________________ Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 28 in 1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who claimed the English throne. 1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. 1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began the siege on Yorktown, VA. 1787 The U.S. Congress voted to send the new Constitution of the United States to the state legislatures for their approval. 1789 In the U.S., the first Federal Congress passed a resolution that asked President George Washington to recommend to the nation a day of thanksgiving. Several days later Washington issued a proclamation that named Thursday, November 26, 1789 as a "Day of Publick Thanksgivin." The fixed-date for Thanksgiving Day, the fourth Thursday of November, was established on December 26, 1941. 1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at Kut-el- Amara. 1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip took 175 days. 1939 During World War II, Germany and the Soviet Union agreed upon a plan on the division of Poland. 1944 "The Boys From Boise" was shown on WABD in New York as the first full-length comedy written for television. 1950 The United Nations admitted Indonesia. 1967 The first mayor of Washington, DC, Walter Washington, took office. 1968 The Atlanta Chiefs won the first North American Soccer League Championship. 1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish diplomatic relations. 1974 First Lady Betty Ford underwent a mastectomy to remove a lump in her breast. 1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 183.904 mph. 1990 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released in Europe. 1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S. nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised to reciprocate. 1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin signed an accord that transferred control of the West Bank. 1997 The 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society (AES) was held in New York City, NY. The official debut of the DVD format was featured. 2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use of RU-486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce an abortion. 2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico border to complete the first known continuous hike of the 1,800- mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started the trek on June 8. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 billion applications downloaded. 2019 Do smiled.