Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, May 27 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man babysitting toddlers had watermarked 'copyright' on his child porn Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 27 in 1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. --- Herman Wouk (1915 - ) "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent, took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance frequently left much to be desired. The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It will prove to my girl," he said, "that she has NO reason to be jealous!" After that, he had to run for his life! _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Find the hidden cat! _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A fisherman returned to shore with a giant Marlin that was larger & heavier than he was. On the way to the cleaning shed he ran into a buddy who had maybe a dozen or so one-pound Rockfish. The buddy eyed the Marlin & said, "Gave up after one, huh ?" __________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dashawn Webster, 22 Portsmouth, Virginia Man babysitting toddlers had watermarked 'copyright' on child porn A Virginia man has been arrested after he allegedly molested a 2- year-old boy and posted images of the abuse online. The Virginian-Pilot reports Dashawn Webster, 22, was arrested last week after confessing to a federal investigator. The charges against Webster stem from two investigations targeting websites that distributed child pornography. One investigation was led by The International Criminal Police Organization and another was led by Homeland Security Investigations. Investigators recovered a thumb drive from a suspect in a different case that included child porn images that "appeared to be homemade." The pictures were all watermarked with a single screen name and the word "copyright." The same screen name was discovered on a variety of websites dealing in child pornography. Agents were able to link the screen name to an old address of Webster's in Portsmouth, Virginia. A Portsmouth police sergeant went to the address to confirm Webster lived there, and found the man was babysitting two boys. Soon after, an agent served a search warrant at the house. According to WTKR, Webster admitted to producing the watermarked images and said the victim was just two years old when the pictures were taken. Numerous additional images of child pornography were found on Webster's electronic devices. Horrified neighbor, Carolyn Christensen, said the alleged abuse made her "sick." "He never goes anywhere, he's always there, he never comes out," she added. "He steps out of the doorway sometimes to pick up the children." Webster is being held at Western Tidewater Regional Jail. Tech Support Pits From: Shirley Re: Thriftyfun newsletter Dear Webby I have been trying to subscribe to the thriftyfun articles, but can't do it. Can you help me out? Or can you just put me on the list to get all the thriftyfun articles. Thank you. I love your humor letter. Read it from top to bottom. thanks Shirley Dear Shirley They have lots of newsletters. Here is the link ThriftyFun Subscriber Have FUN DearWebby The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new model being introduced at the trade fair. "Listen to these features: it's calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice simulator; and that's not all..." "Very impressive," interrupted a none-too-slender sales rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, "but before I place an order I'll have to try it out." "Be my guest," said the manufacturer graciously. No sooner had he taken his place on the scale than a loud, very human-sounding voice issued forth: "One at a time, please, one at a time!" Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Joe for this story: I made the decision to finally do something about the 600 pounds I'm carrying on my 5'4" frame. So, I headed down to the local sports shoe store and was just amazed at the tremendous selection of different shoes. Flat arch, high arch, over-pronator, neutral-pronator, under-pronator . . . my God! I finally selected a pair and, as I was trying 'em on, I asked June, "What's this little pocket thing on the side for?" She said, "Oh, that's to carry spare change for the payphone, so that you can call me when you've jogged too far to walk back from." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Wendy tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to Paul her good friend. Paul told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Wendy, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said Paul. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, Wendy made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Paul asked Wendy, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied Wendy, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas Shopping Throughout the Year I do my Christmas shopping throughout the year, taking advantage of sales. That way, I am not hit with whopping big bills after Christmas. It also saves me money. This preparation eliminates a lot of physical and mental stress. By Kathleen Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Groan Alert! Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman asked, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty." ___________________________________________________ The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Jerry Listening to the weather across the country (my wife) Dolores explained it to me. "Did you ever notice that every time the doomsayers have a global warming warning event, that the weather freezes up? I think it's God's way of telling Al Gore that `HE' is still in control." ____________________________________________________ | Today, May 27 in 1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. 1813 Americans captured Fort George, Canada. 1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, when a tornado struck. 1901 The Edison Storage Battery Company was organized. 1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. 1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic flight. 1926 Bronze figures of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer were erected in Hannibal, MO. 1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the stratosphere, by balloon. 1933 Walt Disney's "Three Little Pigs" was first released. 1933 In the U.S., the Federal Securities Act was signed. The act required the registration of securities with the Federal Trade Commission. 1935 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that President Franklin Roosevelt's National Industrial Recovery Act was unconstitutional. 1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco and Marin County. 1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions. 1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. 1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive in Libya with his Afrika Korps. 1944 U.S. General MacArthur landed on Biak Island in New Guinea. 1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey. 1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10. 1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 industrial goods. 1985 In Beijing, representatives of Britain and China exchanged instruments of ratification on the pact returning Hong Kong to the Chinese in 1997. 1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century. 1994 Nobel Prize-winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn returned to Russia. He had been in exile for two decades. 1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader of the rebels. 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President Clinton was in office. 1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City federal building. 1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. It was the first time that a sitting head of state had been charged with such a crime. 2018 Do smiled. |
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